Can you imagine Glen Davis or Rasheed Wallace as these guys?

The other day, I masqueraded as a Celtics reporter with credentials to the game. I wrote the first half of my night’s story for Celtics Central, including this hilarious locker-room interaction while the press was trying to conduct its interviews.

Then it was on to Ray Allen, who was next to answer reporters’ questions. He was giving thoughtful answers to all the questions, no matter how lacking in originality they were…

Until Big Baby announced his presence with a loud scream. Talking to nobody in specific, he yelled that he was a beast, the last beast off the court in pregame warmups. He had a sandwich in his hands and sat in front of his locker room to eat it, calling the sandwich “The Last Meal.” Then Rasheed Wallace followed him into the locker room, and hilarity ensued. It was my first trip to an NBA locker room, so I had no idea what to expect.

What I didn’t expect, though, was Wallace and Big Baby doing a full-fledged comedy act, pretending to be spartans from the movie “300″. (Which Big Baby accidentally called 3,000.) Ray Allen half-jokingly said we should conduct the interview in the locker room; Sheed and Big Baby were too wild for him to focus.

Click here to read the rest of my story’s first half or here to read the second half.