"Shh. Don't tell anyone my life has disintegrated to the point where I now play professionally in Puerto Rico."

Puerto Rico, watch out. There will soon be no shortage of three-point bricks or Walker wiggles in your commonwealth.

Antoine Walker’s coming to town.

According to NBCSports, Walker, the long-time Celtic, has signed to play with Puerto Rico’s Guaynabo Conquistadores.

Apparently Antoine Walker needs the cash pretty badly — after not landing an NBA gig he has taken a physical and signed to play with Guaynabo in Puerto Rico. Former Bull (and Buck and Hornet) Marcus Fizer will join him.

Walker has been out of the game for more than a year (remember his season in Minnesota in 2008? Don’t worry, nobody does).

Hide your casinos and hot dogs, Puerto Rico. And your nachos, and your ice cream. Maybe your corn dogs. Definitely your potato chips.

Antoine Walker playing basketball in Puerto Rico. Never woulda thunk it.

But “Employee Numero Ocho” it is.