The Baby-Faced Assassin is no Larry Legend.

I hope this was a joke.  Please tell me this was meant as a joke.  I think it must have been. If it wasn’t…

I know Gordon Hayward is white, but he should not — now, or ever — be compared to Larry Bird. (Slam)

Isn’t Gordon Hayward (17 pts, 5 rebs, 2 stls) overdue for the “next Larry Bird” hype that guys like Keith Van Horn, Wally Szczerbiak and Adam Morrison typically get around this time? Hayward definitely fits the profile, and throw in the fact that he looks like an Eagle Scout in the face, it seems like a no-brainer. But maybe because we’ve been burned before — Michael Jordan drafting Morrison ahead of Brandon Roy may have been the last straw — nobody wants to jock Hayward like that prematurely.

There are two things Hayward and Bird share: The pasty color of their skin, and the fact that they’ve both played basketball in the state of Indiana. Beyond that, there is no comparison, and never will be.

If we’re going to compare Hayward to Bird, we might as well compare Shaq to Jerome James, or David Ortiz to Wily Mo Pena.