Glen Davis: "Yo, KG, did you hear what Ron Borges wrote? What an idiot. Not even my own mother thinks I should be starting Game Three."

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the single dumbest column written about the Celtics today… and the competition wasn’t even close.  Let’s all have a slow clap for Ron Borges, who not only thinks Doc Rivers should bench Kevin Garnett for Game Three, but that Garnett’s elbow was all about selfishness.

Borges begins his piece with the question, “Why not keep Kevin Garnett in street clothes Friday night, too?”

Umm, Ron, because he’s the Celtics’ best help defender, by far.  Because he is their best offensive big man.  Because he demands double teams on the block and is the only Celtic big man who can consistently knock down a midrange jumper.  Because his mere presence frees other Celtics to score.  Because he’s a great passer and facilitates a whole lot of the C’s offense while simultaneously spear-heading the defense.  Because, if he doesn’t play, it only frees up more minutes for Rasheed Wallace.  Because Ray Allen said of his zero-field-goal-attempt first quarter, “Since Kevin wasn’t in there, they didn’t want to double on the post.” Because Glen Davis gets his shot blocked on 18% of all his field goal attempts.  Because Davis, as well as he played, is not Kevin Garnett — not even the diminished Kevin Garnett.

Borges continues with the statement, “It was a thrashing, which was more than what happened in Game 1 with KG either in the lineup or in the middle of the Heat’s bench area.”

Oddly enough, Ron, basketball is a team game.  If you need more evidence of that, just look at Dwyane Wade and the four busters he’s surrounded by.  Should Wade sit Game Three, because his team got blown out while he played?  I’m going to say no on that one, and Kevin Garnett shouldn’t sit either.  If I need to remind you, Ron, the Celtics actually started their great play during Game One, erasing a 14-point deficit with — guess what? — the same intensity and effort that made Game Two a blowout.  Guess who was in the game when the Celtics were making that run, Ron — Kevin Garnett.  To be fair to you, Ron, so was Glen Davis.  Wait, Ron thinks in response to that tidbit of information, they can both play at the same time?  You mean we don’t have to choose one or the other? Now you’re starting to get it, Ron.

Borges then speaks on Garnett’s elbow: “When last he spoke on the subject, Garnett was insisting he didn’t regret his actions, even though they led to a well-deserved one-game suspension. If that is still KG’s position, Rivers should suggest he take a position next to him on the bench when Game 3 rolls around, because although what he did with 40 seconds left in a game that was well in hand did not cost the Celtics last night, it showed a level of selfishness that had nothing to do with ubuntu and everything to do with egotistical chest pounding.”

Settle down there, Ron.  Take a deep breath, and think about what you’re writing before typing them with those pudgy little fingers of yours.  It isn’t that Garnett didn’t regret his elbow, it’s that he considered Richardson a jackass who was being disrespectful to his teammate Paul Pierce.  Garnett let his emotions get the best of him, sure.  And he understood that. “I gotta use my head, but all I saw was Paul hurt and that’s all I cared about at that time.”  But he didn’t apologize profusely and, because of that, should sit Game Three… right Ron?  Whether you think Garnett’s elbow justified a suspension or not — and I firmly contend that it did — how can you say it was selfish and he deserves to sit Game Three?  Garnett simply lost control of his emotions; it wasn’t like he sat there and thought, “If I elbow Quentin Richardson in the jaw I will get thrown out of this game, then I will get suspended for the next game, and finally there will be a huge national fallout about my actions during which everyone and their mother calls me a punk.  Because of all that, I am going to selfishly elbow Q.”  His actions weren’t selfish, just foolish, and you know what?  He’s already paid for them.  He, and the Celtics, are only lucky the Celtics didn’t have to pay for them too.

Borges ended his column, “Maybe that’s what Kevin Garnett needs to see Friday night. Maybe he needs to see a ghost of his own, one wearing No. 11 out on the floor and playing his position, while he rests his ego and rethinks when to use those elbows and when to keep them to himself.”

Ron, Garnett has already had plenty of time to reflect on his elbow and what it meant to his team.  For God’s sake, he watched Game Two in Danny Ainge’s basement.  He’s as competitive as human beings come; don’t you think he would have given anything to have that elbow back and be able to play? Again, his elbow had nothing to do with his ego and a lot to do with losing his cool during a heated moment. Ron, stop overreacting with your self-righteous bullshit; Garnett was stupid to throw his elbow, but he’ll certainly help the Celtics out on Friday.

Before I finish tearing Borges’ column apart, I want to say that I hope Garnett throws another elbow during Friday’s Game Three.

And I hope that elbow lands directly on Ron Borges’ nose.