Don't forget to stretch out your glutes, Rajon.

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In the name of Gus Johnson, I’d like to start this post with a pause.

With the way Rajon Rondo’s play has slowed down over the last two series, we wondered whether his muscular spasms had anything to do with it.

For whatever reason, though his injury always seemed to be listed super-specifically as “muscular spasms,” I always thought it was Rondo’s back that was hurt.

I was wrong: It was his rump all along.

“It’s the same injury that he’s had throughout the playoffs, and it’s not really his back, it’s his butt,” Rivers said. “His glutes are tight. They’ve been tight. You see him do this stretch almost every chance he gets.

“He’s been doing that throughout the playoffs, though. Listen, everyone has something going on with their bodies right now. The NBA playoffs are very difficult, and by the time you get to the Finals, there’s a chance that every single guy on the floor has some kind of nick. We’re no different than anybody else.”

Can somebody please, please loosen up Rondo’s glutes? I don’t care what it takes or how it gets done, but we need Rondo to have some seriously loose glutes by 8:00 tonight. So somebody, anybody, please rise to the challenge and fix Rajon Rondo’s toosh. The fate of the Boston Celtics may be riding on it.