Say it ain't so, Paul. Please.

You’ve gotta be kidding me. I accidentally oversleep and woke up to news that Paul Pierce’s agent is “investigating Pierce’s marketability” with certain teams that could lose out on the big free agent catches (Lebron, D-Wade, Bosh, and Lebron’s elbow).

Another league executive with knowledge of Schwartz’ dealings said the agent is investigating Pierce’s marketability heading into this summer’s free agent megamarket.

The agent reportedly has looked into the interest of teams, including the Knicks and Clippers, franchises with significant cap space that may lose out on the likes of LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade.

Would those teams, to stave off disappointment, bring in Pierce in a max-contract slot, or perhaps even in conjunction with another big name? It’s unlikely such an idea would float for a New York public that has been expecting James for the last two years.

The Celtics also have the option of renouncing Pierce, should he void the last year of his contract. Veteran minimums and the mid-level exception aside, this would leave them with approximately $15 million to spend on another max-level free agent.

But Schwartz, in this brief window, has to at least gauge his possibilities.

Though Pierce has enjoyed a relatively stress-free time as a Celtic, where his contract history is concerned, Schwartz is also known for playing hardball.

And with that anticipated lockout ready to kick in exactly when Pierce’s contract expires, an extension will take at least some of the sting out of whatever emerges as the new NBA economics.

So Pierce has a hardass agent who’s looking at other teams? Fuck. I always thought this was going to be a cut-and-dry case. Pierce, in my mind, was going to stay a Celtic — no questions asked. Now he might become a Knick or Clipper?

I don’t know. I still can’t see Pierce leaving Boston. Why screw up being a lifelong Celtic for an opportunity to play on either the Knicks or Clippers? Just for a few (million) bucks? Pierce knows he isn’t a superstar anymore, right? That any team paying him max money is destined for failure? This move doesn’t make sense unless Pierce wants to play close to home. Then the Clippers thing kind of makes me a little worried.

I don’t know what to think anymore. I always, always, always thought Pierce would be a Celtic forever. Now this agent is giving me second thoughts. All I know is: If I see Paul Pierce in a New York Knicks jersey next season, I’m going to break down in tears, puke all over myself, and then light Madison Square Garden on fire.