Yuck. Derek Fisher.

Another day, another step up for the Celtics’ main competition. Udonis Haslem has decided to re-sign with the Miami Heat, and he’s not the only veteran re-signing with a championship contender. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

Udonis Haslem will be back with the Miami Heat next season.

The veteran power forward confirmed his return Monday afternoon to the Sun Sentinel in a text message that read: “Turned down full mid level from Dallas and Denver. See u next season.”

Instead of packages from other teams that could have reached $34 million over five seasons, Haslem, 30, is expected to sign off on a four-year Heat package at about a third of that total, although details still are being sorted out.

Haslem and Bosh don’t exactly work together in a starting lineup – trust me, that combination doesn’t quite have Dwight Howard shaking in his boots. Still, Haslem is a hell of a signing, a solid vet, and the first of who-knows-how-many players who will take a pay cut in order to play with the Three A-me-goes. Haslem also had this gem about Mike Miller: “That’s my boy from day one. . . That’s my college roommate. He’s like Dwyane is to me, just a different color.”

While Haslem signed in Miami, Fisher signed his name to the dotted line in LA. Let’s forget the fact that he just had a solid playoffs and hit a number of clutch shots: For most of this past season, Fisher looked like a fossil. By the end of his new deal, he’ll be 39 years old. So I’m not too worried about Fish — he has to get old at some point, right? Doesn’t he? Oh damn it, I’ll admit it. Fisher helps the Lakers chances next season, for sure… but I can still hope he ages more quickly than Keith Richards.

No matter how quickly he ages, one of Fisher’s main reasons for returning to LA made me puke in my mouth a little: “At the end of the day, there’s one person I could not turn away from. Kobe Bryant asked me to stay.” Ew. Sorry for ruining your day by including that quote, guys. Kobe is the devil to us, just a different color.