Von-illa Wafer. Fist pumps.

If the Celtics need Von Wafer to be the Wa-wa-waterboy with a woo-woo-wooden spoon, he’s willing to do that. Wafer, who said he signed in Boston because of the tradition, is saying all the right things. (Hoopsworld)

“I’m just going to go in and try to learn all of the defensive schemes because I know that’s going to be big, depending on how much they utilize me. They haven’t told me a specific role but I’m willing to do anything they ask of me. If they need a cheerleader, that’s fine. If they need a water guy, I’ll be getting everybody water. If they need me knocking down open shots, I’ll do that too,” he said.

“I was talking to Coach Rivers during our meeting and he was like, ‘Von, we only have the minimum to offer.’ I told him, ‘Coach, it doesn’t matter. I’ll sign for whatever, anything,’” Wafer recalls with a laugh.

“I’m just hungry right now. I really didn’t want to tell people that because they’ve heard it a million times but I really am so hungry and I have so much to prove. I can’t let that be the last time people heard from me, going out with Olympiakos. I take a lot of pride in my game and what people think of me and I don’t want that to be how I’m remembered. I’ve got to write another chapter.”

According to Wafer himself, he’s all about the team. (Slam)

“I just hope to help the team,” says the 25-year-old over the phone. “I’m all about the team first. I want to do anything I can to help make this a better team. Coach Rivers said, ‘If you’re not going to be a team player I don’t want you here.’ So I’m just gonna do my best to help make us a stronger group.”

Look, I say every day that I’m going to slim down and get back in shape. But here I am, still slow, lumpy and 30 pounds over my playing weight, and I haven’t been to the gym once in the past month. You get my drift?

Wafer can say he’s team-first until he’s blue in the face but, coming from someone who had a public feud in Houston and was then firmly in the doghouse in Greece, those words aren’t enough. I’ll believe it when I see it. Guilty until proven innocent.