Damn, Eddie. Damn.

Eddie House has signed with the Miami Heat. (Adrian Wojnarowski)

Eddie House has reached agreement on a two-year, $2.8 million deal with the Miami Heat, his agent, Mark Bartelstein tells Y! Sports.

I’ve got only one question: Does Eddie House signing with the Miami Heat make him kind of like Johnny Damon? Because though I came to hate Damon and everything he stands for, I always wanted to love House. But now he’s signed with the NBA’s Yankees, where he will flank Dwyane Wade and Lebron James and combine with Mike Miller and James Jones to form a sick line of long-range assassins at the Three Am-egos side.

By the way, I’m now going to answer my question. No, House is nothing at all like Johnny Damon. He had no loyalty to the Celtics whatsoever after they shipped him away. House signing with the Heat does nothing to change the fact that he gave his all for years in a Boston uniform, and I will always appreciate House and wish him the best. His teammates, on the other hand? Well, they can go to hell. On their way to hell, though, they’ll probably pick up at least a few championships. I’m all for making a team earn its rings on the court, but the Heat are surrounding their stars with perfect complementary pieces. If their big men can stop anyone defensively, this team might win 86 or 87 regular season games. No joke.

All smiles, son.

I’m hoping this quote will bring all “Rondo may not make Team USA!” talks to a quiet death. (Boston Globe)

“He’s unconventionally become an NBA champion and a triple-double guy in this league,’’ Krzyzewski said of Rondo. “The thing that Rondo does is he plays with a will to win, and he just finds ways to have a positive impact on the game. You know, I really like that about him. I thought I developed a really good relationship with him during the week, and his pressure on the ball, defense. But his will to win is something that I truly admire, and we need that.

“Plus, he’s a little bit older — not in age as much — but with experience, because the Celtics have gone so deep and have won one of the recent NBA championships. So, I think we’re very fortunate to have him.’’

Chris Sheridan called Rondo a lock, but also took the time to give him a nice little backhanded compliment. (TrueHoop)

Eric Gordon/Stephen Curry is another obvious bubble situation, with four of the five guard spots seemingly locked up by Derrick Rose, Chauncey Billups, Russell Westbrook and Rajon Rondo (Note to Rondo skeptics: For all his faults, he rebounds better than any guard in the NBA — something that’ll obviously be needed in Turkey.)

Can we please stop talking about all Rondo’s faults? Can we please not talk about his rebounding like it’s the only thing keeping him on the roster? Rondo is a winner, first, foremost and always. Put him in an NBA competition and he’s better than any of those other guards listed. Every single one. He just finished an NBA postseason in which he was arguably the MVP of the entire playoffs. And now we can’t talk about anything but his faults, just because he’s playing in a FIBA competition where the rules are a bit different?

Child please. Outside of Deron Williams, Chris Paul and maybe Steve Nash, Rondo’s the best point guard in the league. Who else would you take instead of him? Rose? Sorry, get out of the first round before we talk about that. Parker? Maybe a few years ago, before he fell off. Billups? Give me Rondo any day of the week and twice on Sundays. Mr. Big Shot might as well be called Mr. “I’m Only 41% likely to hit my next” Shot.

And just because jump shooting isn’t his strong suit doesn’t mean Rondo won’t make an impact on Team USA. He’ll find open shooters. He’ll push the ball at breakneck speed. He’ll force turnover after turnover. He’ll penetrate the defense and show an uncanny ability to find an open man at the perfect time. Just because he’s playing foreigners with a weird-shaped lane doesn’t mean Rondo suddenly lost the ability to play basketball. Want to hear the story of another speed demon who has a suspect jumper but lives with a hunger for dimes and steals? His name’s Ricky Rubio, and he’s done pretty well for himself overseas.

So get off Rondo’s jock for a little while and enjoy. He’ll be in Turkey with Team USA and he’ll make an impact on the team. Rondo isn’t the best shooter in the world, but he never has been. And he always seems to find ways to adapt and make himself a threat. I don’t see why it will be any different just because he’s wearing Red, White and Blue.

Luke Harangody is flying into Boston today, according to WNDU. As Chris Forsberg reports, the next logical step is for Gody to sign a rookie contract. It remains to be seen whether that contract will be guaranteed or non-guaranteed.

Gody opened up some eyes with a prolific NBA Summer League, about which he said:

“I definitely think I opened some eyes,” Harangody told the school’s Web site. “The members of the Celtics’ staff, they really knew what I can do, so that wasn’t a surprise. But some people out there didn’t know the kind of ability I have. Like I said [in Orlando], it’s always nice to prove those people wrong.”

Harangody knows he can’t rest on the laurels of his strong summer play.

“There’s still a lot of work to do,” said Harangody. “The summer league is one thing. Now the real job begins and you have to work every day.”

Luke, everyone knew the kind of ability you have. The whole country was watching as you tore a new butt hole into the Big East over the past four years. But we had questions during the draft and we still have questions now. Can you overcome your lack of size? Can you overcome your lack of athleticism? Can you overcome the pasty white color of your skin? (Just a joke, guys. I know SOME white guys are good at basketball.)

We don’t doubt you can do it against inferior competition, Luke. But this is the League we’re talking about. Can you still do it against the pros?

Just two Europeans cheesin'.

Rudy Fernandez wants out of Portland. The Blazers realize he is very disgruntled and are speaking to teams about getting him out of there. But the talks have likely been put on hold until Sunday. (Jason Quick, Oregonian)

Rudy trade talks likely on back burner until Sunday. GM Cho tells agent Andy Miller he will meet w/coach McMillan in Vegas on Sun to discuss.

In another new update, the Blazers reportedly may not be against keeping Fernandez on the team and forcing him to honor his contract in Portland. (The Columbian)

Sources also said it is highly unlikely that Fernandez will be waived or that the situation will dissolve to the point that he is placed on the NBA’s suspended list. And while Portland will not hesitate to trade him in either a one-for-one or package deal if a promising proposal is made, the Blazers are also going through the process with the knowledge that Fernandez could be on the roster for the foreseeable future as the team explores a multitude of options.

Before that report, it had seemed inevitable the Blazers would trade Fernandez away. It still seems almost a given that they will. Even in the report that discussed the potential of Fernandez staying in Portland, a source was quoted as saying that both sides know it’s “time for a divorce” and are on the same page.

Meanwhile, the report revealed that there has been little progress in talks for Fernandez and that “there has not been a significant change in ongoing negotiations between the sides during the past week.” That contradicts CelticsBlog’s report yesterday, which claimed the Celtics were in the “lead position” in the trade talks and had been in serious discussions with Portland since Tuesday.

In other news, one of the three teams who had reportedly showed interest in Fernandez does not seem to have the assets to make a deal happen. While the Blazers likely are looking for a first round pick in the trade, the New York Knicks can’t trade next year’s pick (thanks Isiah) because of a rule keeping teams from trading first round picks in successive years. The Knicks traded their 2010 pick all the way back in 2004, and thus can’t trade their 2011 draft choice. That doesn’t necessarily mean the Knicks are out of the running, it just means they are limited in what they can offer.

So while there is really no news in the Portland talks as they have been put on the backburner until Sunday, the Celtics seem to be jockeying with the Bulls for top position. By the way, I can’t even begin to describe how miserable writing about the offseason is. I’ve probably written 15,000 words on Rudy Fernandez and another 20,000 on Matt Barnes. I can’t wait until I can write about legitimately good players again.

Not only are the Celtics one of a handful of teams in the running for Rudy Fernandez. They are also in the lead position to acquire the 6’6″ beanpole from Spain. (CelticsBlog)

The Boston Celtics are currently in the ‘lead position’ in negotiations with the Portland Trailblazers for Rudy Fernandez, according to a source. They have been in serious discussions since yesterday.

Other teams interested including New York and Chicago, but the Celtics are apparently getting the first shot, thus allowing one to assume they are a preferred destination, either in terms of desirability for Rudy or trading pieces for the Blazers.

Get on it, Danny. Either get Rudy and Przybilla for Sheed and Lafayette or get Rudy for Lafayette and a pick or two.

If the Celtics do end up getting Rudy Fernandez, they will have one of the deeper benches in the league when Kendrick Perkins returns. Think about that second unit. Nate Robinson, Fernandez, Marquis Daniels, Glen Davis, and Jermaine O’Neal. That could be the best second unit in ball. I’m giddy just thinking about it. Work your magic one more time, Danny.

Employee Number 8 in his prime. There was a time when ‘Toine was a special player and could do things with a basketball few power forwards ever have.