Tony's Walking in Memphis. Kobe, I hope, is walking in dog feces.

It’s officially the slowest part of the summer. I’m talking Zydrunas Ilgauskas with cement blocks tied to his shoes slow. (Speaking of Z, he’s a classy dude. I’ll find it hard to hate him with venom.) So now I’m reduced to bringing you quotes from a story that I overlooked a few days ago because there was other, more interesting stuff to write about. Oh well, it’s more exciting than any other bit of “news” today. (ESPN)

Against the Celtics in the Finals, Tony Allen got in my face, but I don’t got the time for Tony Allen. Now, if you’re a star and you’re talking trash, I’ll talk back. All series long, Paul Pierce was talking: “You’re a bum, you can’t score, you can’t guard me, I’m busting your ass.” Everything.

I used to be guided by the lack of dread. Dread told me when Tony Allen was in the game. Lack of dread told me he was on the bench. I don’t know how I’m going to be guided now. So it goes.

By the way, Artest also said all types of crazy things. As one might expect. His advice for talking trash to him? Call him a psychopath. Alrighty then. His favorite movie? Titanic. Pause. One of his addictions? Counseling. As in, parental counseling and marriage counseling. The dude loves getting help.

Artest says he ”stopped worrying about money after the last time [he] made Larry Bird mad.” At 15 years old, Ron started to “get twisted.” By the time the Bulls drafted him, he’d ”drink in the house all day, then go play a game.” As he wonders, “Was I crazy, or was I not sober enough to have a clear mind?” I think the answer is quite obvious: Yes.