Say it ain't so.

Wouldn’t you know it? A day after my post titled “Sheed is definitely retiring?”, Sheed is no longer definitely retiring. Never say never, I guess. (CSNNE)

Boston Celtic fans might have to put those retirement party balloons for Rasheed Wallace on hold.

The newest Celtic, Shaquille O’Neal, said Wallace may in fact return to the C’s this season. [...]

“I know Rasheed is thinking about coming back,” said O’Neal, who was in attendance at a charity basketball game in Orlando, Fla. “Rasheed, go on and come back for one or two more years.”

Rasheed in his prime, or even “Rasheed with a slight ability to move his feet laterally,” would have been PERFECT for the 2010-2011 Celtics. He could have played both power forward and center, allowed the Celtics to play some absolutely monstrous lineups, and given Boston the most versatile lineup in the league.

Sadly, “Rasheed in his prime” is long gone and “Rasheed with a slight ability to move his feet laterally” will probably never return… even if Sheed himself does. And that makes adding Rasheed redundant and unnecessary. The C’s already have three centers, none of whom can defend power forwards. (Note: I don’t think. Jermaine O’Neal could potentially prove me wrong. In his former life, he was a power forward.) Rasheed coming back would only serve to take away some minutes from another over-the-hill center (likely adding at least one more disgruntled backup to the squad) and take away Boston’s best trade bait. Doesn’t sound like the best deal to me.

But let’s say Sheed does come back. The Celtics would  have to A) tell Luke Harangody “thanks but no thanks,” B) use Harangody’s roster spot to sign another wing and add security for Marquis Daniels and Von Wafer (the pickings are very slim — Jarvis Hayes anyone?), C) hire Sheed a personal cook, D) hire Sheed a personal trainer, E) stop feeding Sheed beers in the locker room and F) force Sheed to run three miles on a treadmill every day, on top of what his personal trainer would make him do. Sheed’s biggest problem last season wasn’t that he was old. It’s that he was a lazy, out-of-shape, lumpy man who didn’t give a rat’s ass about the regular season. If came back and somehow, miraculously returned to camp in good shape, all of a sudden he could play the four and every problem with adding Sheed would be alleviated.

But I think I’ve got an even better idea than all that: Maybe Shaq should just keep his mouth shut and stop telling Rasheed to “go on and come back.” Not even offseason blackout goggles can make me believe a frontcourt of Perk, the O’Neal brothers and Sheed could somehow work out.

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