Forget being on a playing card. I’m trying to be in a video game. My cousin played basketball at Boston University for a couple years and he was in March Madness. Coolest thing ever. Even though the game made him black when he’s really white (I guess EA Sports doesn’t spend much time scouting the America East Conference), it was sick to play with someone I knew.

Now imagine if it had been ME in that game, and if that game had been NBA2k11. My life would have been complete and I would have averaged 85 points a game with myself in a franchise, winning about 13 or 14 MVPs in the process. And then, the next day, one of my little brothers would have inevitably saved over my franchise on the memory card, wiping away everything I’d worked so hard for and making me sick to my stomach in the process. After that, I would have tried to strangle them, seeing their faces get blue before I realized, “Jay, what are you doing? It’s just a video game. Nothing to commit murder over.”

Anyway, playing cards are old news Avery. Get with the movement. Video games are where it’s at.

P.S. – The way Avery keeps the ball spinning on his finger by stroking it with his other hand? I’ve been trying to do that for years. The ball falls off every time I touch it with my off hand. Avery, if you’re reading, I need your help man.