(Did you know Quisy has a tattoo of Chinese characters that is supposed to be his initials but actually means “healthy woman roof?” Seriously.)

A year ago this time, Tony Allen was the single most frustrating player in NBA history and Marquis Daniels was the missing piece to the puzzle. Weird to think about, right?

I figured Daniels was going to be a hired gun. One year of legit play, one year of proving his worth at a championship level, and then — a la James Posey – he’d move on to a new team and a bigger contract. As everyone knows by now, I was damn wrong. But I wasn’t alone in my Daniels optimism: Pretty much everyone figured he would be a solid pickup, at worst. And then he sucked.

You can makes excuses for Marquis. He got injured; Doc screwed with his confidence by yanking him in and out of the rotation; playing Marquis at point guard was a bad decision; all of the above. But no matter why he was shitty, it doesn’t change the fact that he was. We expected a lot from Marquis, and we were all sorely disappointed when he vanished off the face of the TD Garden floor.

Now, somehow, he’s back for round two. Did he want to come back? I don’t know. What I DO know is that if I were Marquis, I never wouldn’t have wanted to return to the scene of the crime. I would have run my ass out of Boston before you could even ask me, “Wait, you have a diamond sculpture of your own face?”

Last year was a nightmare. It couldn’t have gone any worse for Marquis as an individual. But he’s back, and I can only imagine it was because Marquis and the Celtics both realized, “Shit, we actually need each other now.” The Celtics desperately desired a wing, Marquis’s free agent stock was at rock bottom, and the relationship was renewed more out of necessity than desire.

Basically, Marquis is like the girlfriend who you’ve just spent the last year arguing with and can’t wait to cut loose. She’s a good girl but for whatever reason it just wasn’t working between the two of you. You were ready to break up with her, but then you checked out the landscape for replacements and realized that there wasn’t anybody better on the market. You called her to talk, she apologized, and you did too. You made up, stayed together, and you have hopes it will be better than last time. But that rocky history is there, right under the surface, no matter how hard you try to forget it. You guys are both going to have to be on your best behavior, or else the doubts are going to come flooding back fast. You’re ready to try to make things work — after all, she really is a good girl – but you just don’t have too much faith that she’s right for you. It’s going to take time before you really trust your relationship again.

And THAT’S exactly where I am with Marquis Daniels. I want to trust him. I want him to be the player we expected last season. I want him to fit in seamlessly with the Celtics, the way I thought he would from day one. But I just can’t believe it. Not yet. Not until he proves himself. Not until the arguments stop, the sex gets great and I have a delicious meal waiting for me at the dinner table every night.