I’m as big an NBA Jam fan as the next guy. Boom Shaka Laka, heating up, he’s on fire; the game was an integral part of my childhood and, with NBA Jam rules in beer pong, just as important to my college days. But I don’t know if I’ll be able to play the new NBA Jam when it comes out on October 5th. The Celtics are simply too stacked.

Despite only being able to play with two players, the Celtics have four players on their current squad to choose from: Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnet, Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. On top of that, the Celtics also have two legends to choose from, Larry Bird and Kevin McHale. So my problem is, who the hell do I choose?

Larry Legend is a no-brainer. You can’t possibly make an argument that he should be left out of the lineup. After Larry, though, I’ve got problems. Do I tell Paul Pierce he has to sit on the bench? What about Kevin Garnett? Does Kevin McHale get splinters? Rondo, the newest face of the Celtics? Ray Allen’s the only guy who I don’t mind sitting, but damn it!, I’m even guilty about that. Where I come from, making any of those guys sit the bench is sacrilegious.

Which is why I’m not going to play the new NBA Jam, not even once. Even though it’s going to kill me not to. I can’t disrespect Celtics legends, even if it’s in favor of other Celtics legends.

P.S. – There’s at least one legend available on almost every team. But I think NBA Jam wants to redefine the term “legend.” Otherwise, they wouldn’t have used that term to describe Rony Seikaly, Kenny Anderson and Manute Bol.

(h/t @MrTrpleDouble10)