What do you do between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 1:00 a.m? I’ll tell you what I do: I watch NBA League Pass, g-chat people who probably don’t even want to talk to me, perhaps tweet a few times, grab a snack and fall asleep. Once in a while, if the Celtics aren’t playing, I’ll even drink a beer or two. Whatever I do, relaxation is always the name of the game.

What does Kendrick Perkins do while I’m being such a lazy fool? I’ll let him tell you. (CSNNE)

“I’m at the gym twice a day,” he said. “Three hours for practice, three hours when I come back at night. For practice, I get there at 11 [a.m.]. At night I get there about 10, leave at one in the morning, something like that. We’ve got 24-hour access, so we’ve got to get it in.”

If you’ve got 24-hour access Perk, why are you leaving at one in the morning? Huh? Don’t you work hard? Don’t you want to get better?

(In my mind, Perk would scowl at these questions. Which could mean anything. He would scowl if he was amused at my wonderfully stupid sense of humor; he would also scowl if he was actually pissed. He would also scowl if he really had to go pee, or if Nate Robinson started to tickle him.)

I kid, Perk! What do you do while you’re at the gym so late?

“I do extra conditioning,” he explained. “I don’t think I can ever get too much conditioning, so I try to stay in the best shape possible. I work out with one of our strength coaches and we do different things every day — exercise bike, elliptical, treadmill, stuff like that.”

Ahh, so THAT’S what Steve Bulpett was talking about when he said you are “getting in ridiculously good shape.” It’s great to hear that you want to come back as strong as you used to be, Perk.

(Listens to Perk.)

Wait, what is that you’re trying to tell me? You DON’T want to come back as strong as you once were?

“I’m just trying to come back better than ever. That’s my goal,” he said. “You try to come back like a Wes Welker (Patriots wide receiver). You try to come back harder, at least. Wes Welker, that’s my motivation. For real.”

Perk said that the physical aspect of rehab is the easy part. It’s the mental part — watching his teammates play a game that he misses desperately, being unable to do the one thing in the world he does best – that’s most bothersome.

Perk wants to return before the All-Star break, which means he plans his comeback for some point on or before February 16th. He had surgery to repair his ACL on July 12th (if I’m not mistaken), so the middle of February would be almost exactly seven months after the surgery. Perk initially said he planned to return five to six months after the procedure. (And I know there’s a lot of controversy in Celtics nation about what “procedure” actually means, so I’ll note that I meant “surgery.”)

Perk’s presence is obviously desired. The Celtics could use his bruising ways, his rugged use of elbows and hips and butt cheeks, his reliable toughness. Especially if he returns as he plans to, better than ever.