If you want to see some real Boston Celtics hoops analysis, I suggest you click here or here. If you’re in the mood for the random musings of the former worst player in all of NCAA basketball, stay and read the rest of this post. I might not disappoint.

Yes, in 2006-2007 I considered myself the worst player in all of NCAA basketball. My team was 2-22, and our two wins were gifts from above. One wasn’t even against an NCAA team; it was against an NAIA team called Lyndon State. Lyndon State somehow fielded a basketball team, but I’m almost positive no more than two players in the entire school knew how to dribble. We beat Lyndon State by something like 30 points, and losing to us is like getting beat in the “Best Actor” category by Channing Tatum — after a loss like that, you should feel truly ashamed.  My Skidmore College Thoroughbreds were bad, and certainly one of the worst teams in college basketball.

On a team that wasn’t even worthy of calling itself a college basketball team, I received no playing time. Yeah, I got into some blowouts. Sure, I made a few token appearances while a game was still in doubt. (If any games that season were actually in doubt. We lost most of our games that year when the schedule was announced.) But for the most part, I was on the outside of the rotation looking in, a colossal bum among a historic crop of bums. Thus comes the title I made for myself — the worst player in college basketball.

In all honesty, my team probably wasn’t the worst NCAA basketball team that year. In all honesty, I wasn’t my team’s worst player. But it’s more interesting to be college basketball’s worst player than to be the 11th-best player on your average shitty Division Three team. So I coined myself college basketball’s worst player. And I’ll tell you, that year sucked.

Before college, I’d always been on good teams. My high school teams made the playoffs each year, reaching the regional finals once and semifinals twice. My prep school team finished fourth in New England, falling in the New England playoff quarterfinals. Even my AAU teams were competitive every weekend. I was used to teams that cared about winning; that would do anything in order to win; that expected to win every night, no matter the opponent; that practiced with a purpose, and held each other accountable for mistakes. I was used to teams composed of winners. Then I arrived on Skidmore’s campus.

My first indoctrination into a losing environment occurred my very first day on campus. The team played pickup basketball, and one guard — we’ll call him Andy for the purposes of this post — killed anyone who tried to defend him. He’d drive left, pullup, swish. Drive right, take it to the hoop, and finish with a floater off the glass. I’m telling you, Andy looked like the best player in the Northeast Region during these pickup games.

After Andy scored nine points in a game to eleven, I looked at one of my teammates and said, “Damn, Andy’s real good. I didn’t know he was so talented.”

“Don’t get too excited,” my teammate responded. “During games, Andy sucks. He shits his pants. During games, we all suck.”

Well, alright then. That’s the attitude! Pickup games the rest of the fall went much the same way. Andy destroyed his opponent, nobody on either team really tried or passed the ball, and my frustration mounted as I played with selfish, disinterested players for the first time in my life. To this day, I believe Skidmore College is the only place in the world where “an extra pass” refers to the first pass.

The regular season came, and we almost won our first game. We actually had some team (I forget which team; I guess all the losses blend together) on the ropes. By “on the ropes”, I mean we were within one point a little before halftime, at which time we lost our scruples and ended up losing by 25 or so points. My grumpy teammate was right — Andy sucked. He got into the game, and a poo stain immediately formed in the back of his shorts. Nobody else played well, either. To make matters even worse, players laughed about the loss after the game.

“Get used to it, Jay,” one of them told me. But I was thinking to myself, Shit, we should have won that game. We could have done so much better. I’d barely played during the game, and I was more pissed off than any of my teammates.

The year continued, and the losses piled up. Players stopped trying in practices altogether. (Did they even try to begin with?) Even my coach gave up on the season. At one point, on the day before playing the second-best team in our league, we practiced for 45 minutes. At that point, my coach used his raspy voice to say, “Alright, have some grab-ass time.”

Grab-ass time? What the hell is that?

“Just do whatever the fuck you want,” he said. He then demonstrated by launching a half-court shot. In typical Skidmore fashion, his demonstration shot missed everything.

Grab-ass time. You’ve gotta be shitting me. There I was, playing college basketball, and we had grab-ass time on the day before one of the season’s biggest games. I normally rebel against the phrase I’m about to use, but fuck my life.

Before games, players would concede victory. Never mind that every team in our league sucked. Never mind that we didn’t play any top-25 teams all season. Never mind that winning would have been a nice change of scenery. We entered every game conceding victory, and 22 out of 24 times that season we were right.

I’ve never been a part of a sorrier group of basketball players. I’d always heard of losing environments and how debilitating they can become, but I’d never seen it first-hand. I’d always been surrounded by winners, always been a part of winning programs. But this was different. Losing grabbed hold of everyone in the program and the season spiraled out of control, ultimately ending with me being the worst player in college basketball.

As everything fell apart, that Skidmore College team had no heart. It had no soul. It kept losing, and losing, and losing, and never changed anything to make improvements. In other words, that team was a lot like the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Judging by the following Tweet, I have to assume Marquis Daniels won’t play tonight.

Dwyane Wade does not believe the Heat need to play together like the Boston Celtics do. Or something like that.

“We’ve proven sometimes it can be a lot of him and a lot of me,” Wade said of the Heat’s unique either-or, one-two perimeter punch with himself and James. “That’s the good problem that we have around here. That’s the reason we’re all playing together. It’s about figuring out which one.

“We’re not the Boston Celtics. We’re not these kinds of teams that need to play together. We have guys that have the individual talent, and sometimes the individual talent, one-on-one ability is going to take over. Boston has more of guys that have great individual talent, but they feed off each other. We’re a new team and we’re still figuring it out.”

Normally, I’d take the high road and say, “See? This mentality is why the Heat won’t get past the Boston Celtics in the East. This is why Lebron James still hasn’t won a title in his career. This is why Dwyane Wade needed Shaq — and a watered-down NBA — to win his one ring.”

But I don’t care if the Heat don’t play together perfectly. I don’t care if they sometimes resemble a team of mismatched parts. I don’t care if they don’t have a single NBA-caliber point guard or center. This team scares the hell out of me, and in a seven-game series I can’t say the Celtics have an edge. It was hard enough to take down Lebron or Wade on their own. Now they’re a tag team that comes at you from both ends of the court.

When Udonis Haslem returns and if Mike Miller finds his groove, these Heat will become even more dangerous. And you know what’s even more fearful? This — a year when the Heat still lead the NBA in point differential even while struggling through injuries and an identity crisis — is actually the year to beat them. Because with every year that passes, the Heat will become better at playing together. And every year from now on, they’ll add a draft pick and a mid-level exception player to bolster their depth and make the talent around James and Wade deep and scary. Hell, they might even add Nene before the trading deadline, a move that would bring me (and most of the NBA) to tears.

That said, I hope the Heat continue to think “we’re not these kinds of teams that need to play together.” Because, as much talent as the Heat have, it still takes a full unit to dispatch the Boston Celtics. They’re pretty good.

(H/T @MrTrpleDouble10)

How do you treat All-Stars who aren’t All-Stars anymore? How do you allow players to age gracefully if they aren’t gracefully aging? What will happen when the Big Three get a little older?

At some point the Boston Celtics will have to decide how to treat their aging superstars. At some point Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett won’t still deserve 30-35 minutes per game. At some point there likely will be a clash between winning and treating the old stars with love.

Over in Detroit, home of Eminem and Casey Kasem, John Kuester and Joe Dumars are providing the blueprint for how NOT to treat a former star. Don’t give the star DNP-CD after DNP-CD. Don’t disrespect the star by refusing to tell him why he’s being benched. Don’t finally invite the star to come talk… by sending the security head to tell the star he’s free to come to your office. Don’t threaten to trade the star, then whiff on the trade, then continue treating the star like he’s cancer.

As most of you readers know, I coach a JV high school basketball team. None of my players helped my school win an NBA championship. None of my players made three All-Star games. Hell, most of my players can barely make passes that aren’t deflected and/or stolen by the other team. But when I take a JV player out of the starting lineup, I let him know. I tell him why we made the move, and I tell him what he needs to do to regain his spot. Why? Common courtesy. People deserve to know why they aren’t playing, and they deserve to hear it from their coach. Why else? Because telling my players what we need them to improve can only help matters. If a player knows what he’s doing wrong, he can change it.

It’s clear Richard Hamilton no longer fits into Detroit’s plans. For whatever reason — whether it be a bad attitude, Hamilton’s fading skills, Hamilton’s “he doesn’t deserve nearly that much money anymore” contract, Hamilton’s age or a combination of all the preceding factors — the Pistons have deaded Hamilton’s career. Barring a 180-degree turn, Hamilton has played his last game with Detroit. After eight-plus years of helping Detroit to a mini-Eastern Conference dynasty of sorts, Hamilton is now being treated with zero respect. Meanwhile, Hamilton’s teammates still have his back; they also say Hamilton did not cause headaches for Kuester.

The Pistons have started to win games, which provides evidence that Kuester could have made the right decision. But is losing the respect of an entire locker room worth going 5-3 in the last eight games? Do you think Rodney Stuckey sees the way Hamilton’s being treated and thinks, “Man, I definitely want to stay here in Detroit. It’s such a compassionate, classy organization.” No. He’s probably thinking, “Get me the fuck out of here. Fuck John Kuester and his never-ending string of bullshit. How they’ve treated Rip’s a crock of shit. Even if you’re going to bench him, be a man about it and let him know.”

Not that Rodney Stuckey staying or leaving will make or break the organization — he’s not that quality of player. But players won’t want to play for a coach who will fuck them over, who won’t show a single ounce of loyalty. Coaching basketball is definitely about X’s and O’s; but, and I’m not sure Kuester knows this yet, it’s also about managing personalities to foster a positive environment.

In high school, I had one coach who prepared for games better than any other high school coach around. He put together full scouting reports, watched more game film than Bill Belichick, and generally put together the best game plan he could. Our team was always prepared to play every game.

Unfortunately, the same coach had no idea how to deal with his players. One time, our star player TJ showed up to the bus right when the bus was supposed to leave. He pulled his car into the parking lot, and the bus was still there waiting to depart. TJ was a little late, sure, but it was only a minute or so. And he wasn’t a player who made a habit of being late, either. It was one of our final games, and he’d never been late before. Or even close to being late.

As TJ parked his car, my coach told the bus driver to leave.

“But coach,” my teammates and I all said. We pointed at TJ approaching the bus from his car, and we continued, ”TJ’s right there.”

“I know. Which means he’s late. He can get a ride to the game.”

“But the game’s 40 minutes away. And the bus is still here, and TJ’s right there. And TJ doesn’t have his own car, and his dad works and won’t be able to bring him all the way to the game. And you’re just being a fucking dickhead right now.”

Okay, so we didn’t call our coach a dickhead — he definitely was one. We left TJ, and TJ had to get a ride from my mom, and my mom had to leave for the game two hours before she planned to. My teammates and I all hated my coach, and we underachieved that year. He knew all about X’s and O’s, but had no idea how to treat his players the right way. He had no idea how to maximize our abilities, no idea how to bring out the best in us.

The next year, while I was playing college ball, the same coach repeatedly called one player a pussy. The team would do a charge drill, where players would take turns taking charges, and the dickhead coach would have the team’s strongest player continually run this “pussy” over. The “pussy” would stand there, and the strong kid — who would receive plenty of scholarship offers to play football in college — would run him over. The dickhead coach would sit there, laughing about it, and tell the football player to run the “pussy” over one more time.

This dickhead coach knew a lot about basketball. But his players sure hated him, and he had no clue how to inspire his team to want to play for him.

Another coach I had, an AAU coach, hardly ever raised his voice. He didn’t run any complicated sets, and we didn’t ever have any scouting reports. We didn’t have three hour practices, and he didn’t whip us into shape with suicide after suicide. But he treated us all with respect, and every player on that AAU team — one through twelve — would have taken a charge from Shaq if our coach told us to. We played harder than any team we played against, and it was mostly because we respected the hell out of my coach and couldn’t fathom letting him down.

Doc Rivers is a lot closer to the AAU coach than to the dickhead coach. He always treats his players with respect, and — one through twelve — the Celtics seem to respond to Rivers’ tactics. Put another way, Rivers is no Kuester. If you fall out of favor with Rivers, I imagine he’ll tell you.

At one Celtics game I covered, Von Wafer told Nate Robinson he had a meeting with Rivers after the game. Wafer, if I’m not mistaken, had received a DNP-CD, and I imagine Rivers scheduled the meeting to explain why. Maybe my imagination’s wrong. Maybe there was another reason Rivers scheduled the meeting. But either way, the point was this: In Boston, the communication lines stay open for players one through twelve.

Of course, it’s easier to tell Von Wafer why he received a DNP-CD than it is to tell an aging star he’s fallen out of favor. But I imagine Rivers would show his players the proper respect under any situation.

And if Rivers no longer coaches the Celtics when the Big Three start to show diminishing returns, and another coach is in charge when the Big Three’s playing time has to be reduced? Well, I only hope the coach handles the situation a lot better than Kuester. After all they’ve done for their franchises, aging stars deserve respect even in the twilights of their careers.

The Morning Walkthrough is a set of links to Boston Celtics articles throughout the internet, designed to get your day started the right way.

Dan Duggan, Boston Herald – “Kendrick Perkins is champing at the bit to make his debut after offseason ACL surgery. The C’s starting center has recovered rapidly and is hoping to return ahead of the Feb. 4 target date he set last week. ‘I think we’re going to keep the timetable whatever it is,’ Rivers said. ‘Honestly, he wants to play (tonight). He’s already approached me about that. The only consideration has been (trainer) Eddie (Lacerte) and Dr. (Brian) McKeon. I’m not going to listen to Perk, I can tell you that.’ Perkins participated fully in practice, working with the second unit. ‘Perk went through live practice and he looked terrific,’ Rivers said.”

David Aldridge, NBA.com – “Boston will need him. The only really healthy bigs the Celtics have at the moment are Glen Davis and rookies Semih Erden and Luke Harangody. ‘It’s exciting to know, for (Perkins’) own sanity, that he’s back on the floor,’ Allen said. ‘Having another big body that’s defensive minded, it definitely makes us a lot better. Bringing Shaq and Jermaine in, trying to incorporate them into everything that we’re doing, there’s an adjustment period. Jermaine hasn’t been on the floor a lot, so we’ve been minus a big, and Shaq has been in and out. There’s been a little inconsistency there as far as bigs, and minutes played. Perk’s been a guy that’s typically always been in there, and we’ve had a consistent lineup over the last three years. He knows, pretty much, the protocol of what we’re doing, and I’m sure he’ll catch up pretty quickly.”
But Rivers says Perkins will help at the other end of the floor, too. We’ve been good offensively this year,” Rivers said. “But when he’s in there, we’re really good. Because we can run stuff that we ran two years ago out of a (timeout), that he knows. Timing and all that stuff is so important, and he gets that. He’ll be able to come back quicker because of that.’ And the ‘real’ starting five will get to defend its honor. Twelve days.”

Frank Dell’Apa, Boston Globe – “The Celtics lost to Cleveland early in the season, and after a decent start to their campaign, the Cavaliers have lost 17 consecutive games. ‘It’s been a terrific season so far but we’ve had some bad losses,’ Rivers said. ‘And I tell our guys that some of the teams that have beaten us are under .500, and those are tough losses for a team that shouldn’t lose those games. So, more lessons learned, and [I’ve] just got to keep teaching them. Cleveland beat us once already this year. I rarely worry about the opponent, I worry about ourselves. And when we play right it gives us an excellent chance to win the game and when we don’t anybody can beat us, and that’s been proven this year.’”

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Boston – “Reading between the lines, it appears the Celtics could potentially fly O’Neal to Phoenix, where he could join the team for Friday’s tail end of a back-to-back. Even if he doesn’t play, that at least gives him the chance to be with the team when it travels to Los Angeles for Sunday’s nationally televised showdown against the Lakers, the first battle between the two teams since Game 7 of the NBA Finals. It’s hard to image O’Neal, given his history with the Lakers, would miss that one, especially if the injury is not severe as Rivers suggested Monday.”

A. Sherrod Blakely, CSNNE – “Delonte West did some skeleton work with the Celtics on Monday. He did not do anything live, but it’s clear that he’s progressing toward his goal of playing sometime next month.”

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Boston – “How are NBA All-Star coaches selected? The league sets a cutoff point (this year it’s Feb. 6) and the coach (and his staff) of the team with the best record in each conference earns the right to be on the All-Star bench. The Eastern Conference-leading Celtics (33-10) will play seven more games before that date, but coach Doc Rivers already boasts a 2.5 game cushion on the field and, barring a bumpy west coast trip, could be returning to the All-Star sideline for the annual showcase.”

A. Sherrod Blakely, CSNNE – “During those skeleton drills, because of the lack of bodies available, guys often find themselves practicing at a position that they are surely not likely to play in a game. For example, Glen Davis spent time on Monday practicing at the small forward position. ‘He enjoyed it,’ Rivers said. ‘He thought he could shoot every time, like Paul [Pierce].’ Clearly, Davis is not a small forward. But then again, 6-6 forward Marquis Daniels is not a power forward, either, but he has seen some time at that position this season. All the Celtics have to be ready, to play any and every position. Because with all the injuries they have had this season, there’s no telling when an opportunity to play will present itself.”

Got a tip? An article you think should be included? Send an email to jayking@celticstown.com or hit me up on Twitter @CelticsTown.

A “locked hip” will keep Shaq out of tomorrow’s game against the Cleveland Cavaliers. He might also miss the road trip that follows. (ESPN)

“It’s his hip. It’s locked,” said Rivers. “I don’t know what the hell that means. I don’t know if there’s a key you go get or something like that. That’s all it is. It’s not a serious injury, but he’s also 38 years old. We’re going to be very cautious.

“I know [O'Neal will] miss [Tuesday] unless something happens with a miracle. And the flight to Portland [for Thursday's game vs. the Trial Blazers] is a difficult flight, seven hours or whatever. I, personally, think that would be tough for him. After that, he’s pretty much available, but we want to avoid back-to-backs if we can.”

I’m at the point where I don’t even bat an eyelash when Shaq misses games. His injuries are all, as Doc Rivers once put it, “because he’s old as hell.” It’s nothing to worry about long-term, just annoying absences that will mark the season.

With Shaq out, Semih Erden will continue to play big minutes. Erden’s starting to grow accustomed to the NBA pace, and has begun posting some solid rebounding numbers. But, in an ideal world, he’d be riding a whole lot of pine.

Marquis Daniels might also miss tomorrow’s game. He’s home tending to a family issue, and Doc Rivers said he’s “50-50 at best” for the Cavs.