Troy Murphy reportedly spent last night listening to phone pitches from Danny Ainge and Pat Riley, who were both hoping to convince Murphy to join their teams. The Heat are reportedly the frontrunner for Murphy’s services, which — thankfully — still probably wouldn’t change the Eastern Conference landscape.(Yahoo!)

Miami president Pat Riley and Boston general manager Danny Ainge planned to make recruiting pitches to Troy Murphy on Monday night, and the free agent will soon choose between the Eastern Conference rivals, a league source told Yahoo! Sports.

“He’s still torn,” a source close to the process said Monday night.

Riley and Ainge both planned to call Murphy. Murphy could make a decision as soon as Tuesday, but hasn’t ruled out taking until mid-week to make his decision.

Here’s a transcript (which may or may not be real) of Ainge’s call with Murphy:

Ainge: Troy, there are a lot of good reasons to come to Boston.

Murphy: I’m Popeye Jones.

Ainge: Excuse me?…

Murphy: That means I’m all ears.

Ainge: Ahh. Well, you definitely wouldn’t start. Actually, with Shaq soon joining Nenad Krstic, Glen Davis, and Kevin Garnett in the frontcourt, you probably wouldn’t play very many minutes at all. Maybe none whatsoever. And you wouldn’t be getting beautiful weather like Miami. Not to mention we can’t pay you any more than the minimum. But, hey! Irish boy in Boston? We were made for each other, Troy!

Murphy: Umm, that doesn’t sound perfect, actually. I’ve spent all season racking up DNP-CDs. It would kind of be nice to play a few minutes.

Ainge: Yeah, but let’s face it Troy. What contender would you play minutes for? Los Angeles? Good joke. Miami? Maybe, but doubtful. Orlando’s the only decent team you could crack the rotation for, and — let’s face it, Troy — calling Orlando a contender is like calling Tim Duncan an MVP candidate: in year’s past, yes, but definitely not now. Troy, I don’t want to say you’re washed up, but, umm, Kris Humphris and Johan Petro took your minutes in New Jersey. Then Golden St. made it two miserable teams who didn’t want you this season. You averaged a double-double last season, Troy, but nothing about this season leads us to believe you have anything left in the tank. You’re a power forward not known for defense who is shooting 34.2% from the field, Troy. Not to mention 17.4% from downtown. I don’t know how what cliff you fell off after last year, but the fall you took was devastating. But, hey, we ain’t mad atcha! We value your skills! We want you in Boston!

Murphy: Hmm. An interesting pitch. But honest, at least.

Ainge: Look, Troy. We’re going to the playoffs, and you’ve never been to the playoffs. Like, ever. As in, you’ve spent nine full years playing in a league where more than half the teams make the playoffs each season, but you’ve never qualified. Not once. (Ainge starts laughing, hysterically.) The Heat will make the playoffs, too, of course, so I guess that’s not really a good argument to come to Boston. But, man, you’ve really played on some shitty teams.

Murphy: Umm, yeah. Can’t disagree with that, even if you’re not being extremely sensitive.

Ainge: I guess my real point is this: You can either back up Chris Bosh this year (who’s soft and cuddly), or you can back up Kevin Garnett (who’s coarse and harsh and will do whatever it takes to win). You can either sit on the bench and watch Lebron James and Dwyane Wade run isos, or you can sit on the bench and watch an offense that swings the ball and cares not who scores. You can share a locker room with teammates who have been through the fire, legitimately love each other, and focus on winning above all else, or you can share a locker room with Joel Anthony.

The choice is yours, Troy. Obviously, we really want you.