Apologies for the lack of posts today and yesterday. I had a job interview this morning, meaning:

A) I had to do a little last minute cramming to impress the interviewers

B) somebody might actually be stupid enough to hire me (though I doubt that, considering they gave me the “we’ll be in touch” send-off)

And C) I needed to learn how to tie my own tie, so I wouldn’t look like a complete schmuck

Using YouTube, I finally taught myself how. The tie only went down to my sternum and the knot was approximately the size of a small country, but it was progress. Rome wasn’t built in a day, as they say, except on the day the Celtics traded for Kevin Garnett.

Anyway, my lack of success in finding a job (I do have some worthy qualities, prospective employers. . . no, really, I do) has led me to my latest internal debate:

What happens first? Me finding a full-time job, or Shaq playing another game for the Celtics?

The smart money’s on Shaq, who the Celtics say is now shooting for a Friday return to practice. Yes, it’s been decades since he last played (or does it just seem like that?). Yes, there has been a report saying he’s likely to miss the entire postseason. Yes, his body is made of a substance similar to my $10 pair of Starbury’s, which broke almost immediately after purchase, before I had even walked from the mall to my car. But he’ll probably return sometime this postseason.

On the other hand, Vegas has pushed the over/under on me finding a job to the year 2015. Considering that nobody seems to think I’m worthy of hiring, Vegas is probably being generous. And you know what the sad part is? I’d absolutely, without a doubt, prefer for Shaq to return before I get a job. Hell, I have my whole life to find a job (which is a good thing, because it might take that long), but the Celtics only have a short time before their season’s over.

So what say you, Celtics Townies? Which comes first? Shaq’s return or my first full-time job?

Or maybe you want to choose option three, which is: that’s a trick question—neither’s ever happening.