I feel like Morgan, the little sister from Boy Meets World, right now. I’ve been in time out for three years and I’m finally making a return to the show — er, a return to writing.
In actuality, I haven’t been in time out. I haven’t been having recurring nightmares about a drunken, belligerent Kendrick Perkins either. My grandfather Pop Pop passed away from a cancerous tumor, and spending time with my family vaulted over everything else on my list of priorities — my golf swing is now in shambles, I haven’t updated my website in a week, my jump shot is rusty, and, no, I wouldn’t change any of that because experiencing the love my family emanated this week changed my life.
Pop Pop’s in a better place now, a place where he can finally play golf again, a place where his face does not have a tumor, a place where he can reunite with his parents, both of whom died before he was three years old, a place where he can walk without a walker, go to the bathroom without a diaper, sleep without pain, . I assume he’s playing 18 holes now, and when he’s done he’ll wait in the clubhouse for my grandmother Kicki and the rest of us to meet him for dinner.
In the meantime, I’m back to business as usual. That means discussing the major developments that happened during my intermission:
1. Kendrick Perkins arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct
Thinks of Perkins searching for a fight with regulation-sized human beings.
Shivers in fear.
Remembers how many times he’s seen drunken people trying to fight.
Gives Perk the benefit of the doubt . . . this time.
2. Kendrick Perkins claims he is innocent and suffered injuries from the fight
Perk suffered injuries in a bar fight? That can’t be great for his street cred.
3. Kendrick Perkins considering filing a police brutality complaint over incident
Whoa. Now this Perkins story is getting a bit crazy. One second I envision Perkins stomping around a bar looking like Godzilla scavenging for young civilians. The next, Perkins claims injury, denies the police version of the incident, and is considering a suit against the fuzz. Ladies and gentleman, your 2011 news cycle. Also, for whatever it’s worth, as much as Perkins scowls on the court, he’s just about the last person I would expect to get into a bar fight.
4. Kendrick Perkins is no longer a Boston Celtic
Yet I keep talking about him. Ugh. Note to self: it’s time to let Perk go.
5. Ray Allen says a cancelled season will not doom the Celtics
Yeah, a core of Rajon Rondo, 37-year old Ray Allen, 36-year old Kevin Garnett and 35-year old Paul Pierce would definitely return as contenders in 2012-’13. And Lindsey Lohan is a perfect role model for your children.
6. Rondo’s elbow feeling good
Rondo participated in a Kentucky exhibition game and reportedly looked good.
6. Doc Rivers might be searching for a defensive coordinator
The NBA lockout needs to end, mostly because this is what constitutes a rumor right now. I never would have guessed how much I miss free agency rumors that don’t involve foreign countries. I would even kill for a “Celtics work out Adam Morrison and Kwame Brown” headline right now.