Von Wafer signed with the Italian club Venoli Cremona, as first reported by Alex Kennedy and confirmed by Chris Forsberg. The deal contains an opt out clause for Wafer to return to the NBA if and when the lockout ends this season.

Wafer reminds me of one of my teammates growing up. This kid was a space cadet, the team clown, a very talented player but also one who occasionally watched his man shoot an uncontested three, simply forgetting (I know, that sounds unfathomable) to contest the shot. This kid drank every weekend. He received more Ds than As in class. By most measures, he would probably be seen as a disappointment — he drank as a sophomore in high school, played to considerably less than his potential, and possessed a GPA lower than Vin Baker’s blood alcohol level. But considering where he came from (he transferred to my school after getting expelled from his previous school for fighting a teacher), when my team had our banquet at season’s end, our coach summed up this kid’s efforts in one sentence: “I could not be more proud of him.”

That’s how I feel about Wafer. I know, my expectations were low. Wafer didn’t perform well and he got into at least one spat that we know about. He came close, but never quite adjusted to playing defense and excelling in a bit role off the bench. His shot abandoned him. His decisions weren’t always perfect. He never earned Doc Rivers’ trust.

But I’m proud of him.

When the NBA lockout began, the Celtics veterans spoke of grand workout plans, plans that would keep the squad together in one place despite the lockout. Ray Allen said the team might meet at UConn. Rajon Rondo was expected to coordinate many of the workouts. It was anticipated that the Celtics’ veteran presence would allow the team to adapt to the lockout’s trying circumstances more easily than most teams.

Instead, a little more than a month into the lockout, the players continue to work out (or perhaps not work out) solo.

“Rondo said Celtics players have been working out individually this summer with no plans yet for group workouts,” wrote ESPN’s Chris Forsberg.

While Rondo did say the veterans would likely organize team activites if the lockout lingered, coordinating group workouts could be almost impossible. Let’s run down what we know the Celtics are doing:

• E’Twaun Moore signed in Italy.

• Gilbert Brown (who isn’t technically a Celtic, but probably will become one) signed in Germany.

• Glen Davis will consider overseas opportunities.

• Rajon Rondo plans to enroll at Kentucky to finish college.

• Paul Pierce is playing poker while wearing his championship ring.

• JaJuan Johnson is tweeting about random things, mostly nonsense, and causing me to wonder whether he’s spending enough time in the gym.

• Jeff Green is trying to become a mixture of Pierce, Kobe Bryant and Lebron James — when he’s not shoving female soccer players, that is.

• Kevin Garnett is drawing serious interest from Chinese teams, if the league’s rules permit NBA players to sign.

• Avery Bradley is fielding overseas offers, has some interested clubs, and could be joining Brown and Moore as temporary NBA defects.

• Shaq is either in a studio, making fun of Chris Bosh, or cross-country driving an RV that he initially said the Celtics gave to him for a birthday present, before changing his mind and saying he bought it himself.

• Carlos Arroyo has fielded offers from Italian teams, and at one point was reportedly ready to sign overseas.

• Nenad Krstic signed in Russia.

• Delonte West is working on his budding rap career (which is destined to make him considerably less money than his basketball career).

• Von Wafer is begging Spanish teams for a roster spot.

• Sasha Pavlovic is doing whatever Sasha Pavlovic does during an NBA lockout.

• And Troy Murphy is presumably in an empty gym, searching for his lost game.

Coordinating group workouts could become like a Carmen San Diego game, traipsing all over the world to round up V.I.L.E. henchmen — err, I mean Celtics players.

The lockout (damn you, Stern) continues to make its presence felt.

Mike Longabardi, who has been affiliated with the Celtics in various roles since 2007-08, was promoted to a bench assistant coach today.

“I’m looking forward to adding Mike to our bench. He has been in the fold the last four years and he’s more than ready for the next step,” said Doc Rivers.

It’s unclear whether Longabardi will become Doc’s lead assistant, but Doc holds Longabardi in high regard. Longabardi was previously rumored to be a candidate for the position vacated by Lawrence Frank, a position which Larry Brown is also rumored to have interest in.

Glen Davis goes back and forth more than a tennis ball. He flip-flops more than Tevas. So when he says re-signing with the Celtics is his number one priority in free agency, I take it with a grain of salt. (Boston Globe)

His words were tamer than they were in May, when it appeared Davis had grown tired of coach Doc Rivers’s treatment.

P.S. — Davis said he’s interested in signing overseas.

Jeff Green wants to take elements from other players’ games and use them in his own. Specifically, he plans to study and incorporate some of the traits of Kobe Bryant, Lebron James and Paul Pierce. (NBA.com)

Me: If you go back to Boston, what do you expect your role to be next season?

JG: That’s up to Doc (Rivers). I know they wanted me to be more aggressive, so that’s what I’ve been doing, is just working on my all-around game. Getting a little Paul Pierce in me. You know, taking a little characteristics from different players. Kobe, being one. Paul. Being with them for a couple of months now. Just a number of guys. LeBron. I’m just working on my game, trying to get better.

I would rather see Green take some of Ray Lewis’s characteristics, but at least he’s trying to improve himself during the offseason. As for whether he will ever become Kobe, Lebron or The Truth, I would bet my next 30,000 paychecks that he won’t (note: that’s a lot of paychecks). Still, improvement is a good thing, especially if Green plans to return to Boston next season. When asked whether he envisions playing for the Celtics next season, Green said, “I mean, when the CBA is all over with, and I can figure which road to go down, that’s when I’ll think about it. But right now, I’m not even thinking about it.”

Hardwood Paroxysm blogger Jovan Buha asserts that Green should spend his time trying to become Lamar Odom rather than trying to mimic superstars. Despite possessing the skills of a First Option, Odom never blossomed into that type of player. But he evolved and matured into a valuable game-changer, a player whose versatility overshadows the lack of a killer instinct, whose quirks and occasional tendency to disappear are now okay because he never has the pressure to carry a team. Green still has a long way to travel before he reaches Odom’s level, but his skills and backseat mentality lend themselves to a similar career path.

Changing gears, I don’t know whether to expect the Celtics to re-sign Green. If they don’t, they admit that The Trade was a mistake and Green wasn’t what they hoped for. If they do, they risk spending long-term money on a player who A) struggled to adapt to Boston’s defensive schemes, B) did not find his groove offensively and has never been an especially efficient player, C) tends to make teams worse by his mere presence on the court, and D) possesses the body of a lion but the mentality of a kitten.

If I were Danny Ainge, I would not re-sign Green — I would rather keep the cap space than risk a significant portion of Boston’s future on a player who underwhelmed last season and has never been efficient or especially helpful. I understand Green’s potential and see his skills. But he has yet to harness those skills into helping his team win games, and that scares me.

I’m not sure I hate David Stern, but I want to dropkick him in the face, five-star him in the gut, then kidney punch him until he cries uncle.

After yesterday’s collective bargaining negotiations, Stern took the labor battle public.

“I don’t feel optimistic about the players’ willingness to engage in a serious way,” he said. Then, when asked whether the players were negotiating in good faith, Stern continued, “I would say not. Thank you.”

Today, Stern took the battle to the courts. (NBA.com)

The NBA filed two claims today against the National Basketball Players Association: an unfair labor practice charge before the National Labor Relations Board, and a lawsuit in federal district court in New York.

The unfair labor practice charge asserts that the Players Association has failed to bargain in good faith by virtue of its unlawful threats to commence a sham “decertification” and an antitrust lawsuit challenging the NBA’s lockout.

The federal lawsuit seeks to establish, among other things, that the NBA’s lockout does not violate federal antitrust laws and that if the Players Association’s “decertification” were found to be lawful, all existing player contracts would become void and unenforceable.

“These claims were filed in an effort to eliminate the use of impermissible pressure tactics by the union which are impeding the parties’ ability to negotiate a new collective bargaining agreement,” said NBA Deputy Commissioner and Chief Operating Officer Adam Silver. “For the parties to reach agreement on a new CBA, the union must commit to the collective bargaining process fully and in good faith.”

Before the lawsuits were filed, Tom Ziller discussed good faith bargaining and how it pertains to the NBA negotiations. He hypothesized that neither side would truly operate under the guise of good faith until a legal ruling forced them to.

The real reason for the lack of urgency is that nothing will change in these talks until the first blow lands outside the conference room, in the courtroom. No one will budge until a legal victory forces them to.

With a complaint about the NBA’s bad-faith negotiations pending at the National Labor Relations Board pending, why would the players’ union cave right now on the massive concessions Stern has sought? Why would the owners move their position before seeing whether the union wins their complaint or decertifies? There’s no reason for either side to budge. No one has landed a blow — you could argue that the players’ earning FIBA’s approval is at least a small victory, but the NBA essentially didn’t contest that fight — so no one will react.

It’s a stand-off, and it’ll continue to be a stand-off until the union does something.

That’s why the idea that these guys should negotiate with each other in “good faith” is completely overwrought. Good faith flew out the window a long time ago, when Stern laid out the blueprint for this lockout years ago, when Hunter focused on prepping his players for the inevitable instead of finding a creative solution to avoid a stoppage, when the owners told players they couldn’t do what they are contracted to do without giving up a whole lot of money first. This is a lockout. That is not a matter to be taken lightly. Why should anyone be generous at the negotiating table at this point?

The owners’ lawsuit is a preemptive strike against union decertification and a plot to select the venue in a possible antitrust case (on this point, I am simply regurgitating Ken Berger’s opinion, as I don’t know why hosting the federal lawsuit in the Southern District of New York should make any difference).  Stern’s veins are beginning to bulge out of his neck, a blood vessel has popped on his forehead, his skin has become bright green, and his muscles are growing muscles of their own. As much hostility as I have for Stern right now, I almost respect that he will keep his foot on Billy Hunter’s throat throughout these negotiations. If I were a money-grubbing owner with no respect for any of my fans, I would love to have Stern on my side.

Meanwhile, the players are being mostly quiet. Stars have been touring China, , barnstorming in the Philippines, playing soccer in Washington, DC, and scoring 66 points at Rucker Park, but none of them have publicly ripped Stern or the owners. Spencer Hawes came the closest to firing shots at Stern, tweeting about the hypocrisy of Stern’s contract (the Commish reportedly makes $23 million, while he attempts to cut player contracts across the NBA, but no stars have been outspoken about the negotiations.

Just last week, Ken Berger ripped into the players’ leadership, citing the lack of public comments decrying the owners’ proposals. But maybe it’s better that way. Every time Stern opens his mouth, I do two things:

1) I dream about inserting a Shaq-sized Nike straight into Stern’s mouth, then repeatedly striking him with a wiffle ball bat.

2) I side more strongly with the players.

So far, the players are winning the court of public approval. But the battle has moved to a different court now. And things should get worse before they become better.