Did you think the NBA actually wanted to preserve its full season? Think again. All the labor discussions to this point were barely even posturing.
“I’m convinced that this was just all part of the plan,” Billy Hunter told Ken Berger after the NBA canceled the first two weeks of its regular season. Great. Glad you guys made an honest effort. I’m really happy to be such a big fan, now. Really. Let me just go extend my season tickets for another year.
Oh, yeah. I can’t afford season tickets. I make $10 an hour or $50 per story, depending on which job I’m working, meaning I make about $350 per week, or $18,200 per year, or a mere $455,404 less than the lowest-paid NBA player, or approximately $1.5 billion less than Dan Gilbert’s worth. I live in my parents’ basement, and sometimes, I drink water at bars because I don’t have any money. But really, I’d love to buy NBA season tickets if I could. These guys definitely deserve my cash.
The lost regular season games were “pre-ordained,” one source told Berger. “All of this could have been solved so easily with any amount of effort,” the person said. The NBA has canceled two weeks of the regular season without any negotiating effort whatsoever, without any thoughts about the fans, and oh, yeah, by the way, when the league comes back, please buy NBA League Pass and tickets and merchandise because the NBA needs your support.
Peace sign up, index finger down. Think about it if you don’t get it right away.
Admittedly, sadly, I’ll be on the front line of NBA fans as soon as the lockout ends. I’m addicted. I’ll be the one watching NBA League Pass until the wee hours of the morning because the Timberwolves seem ridiculously entertaining. I’ll be the one wearing my Celtics shirt, rocking my Celtics hat, donning my NBA socks and sagging my Celtics shorts with a shamrock on them. But if I want to get David Stern in a steel cage match and give him the People’s Elbow until he cries uncle — and I’m the biggest NBA fan this side of Clipper Darrell — imagine what Joe Schmo who watches twelve games a year thinks.
We are missing games because millionaires and billionaires cannot properly split the largest revenues in NBA history. We are here because 22 nitwit owners can’t make money despite the aforementioned revenue records. We are here because dysfunctional owners like Glen Taylor want a system that allows dysfunctional franchises to compete. We are here because NBA players are the highest-paid of all professional athletes and want to preserve that status. We are here because David Stern told Billy Hunter two years ago that his owners needed a slew of concessions, and Billy Hunter effectively told him, “Go f*** yourself. We’ll miss one or two years before we give up that much.” We are here because this lockout was always destined to extend into the season, because these millionaires and billionaires don’t make enough money as it is.
“We made, in our view, concession after concession,” Stern said. Ah, yes. You never stopped offering more, Stern. You’re like Santa Claus, just bringing your sack of gifts around and offering presents to the players daily. I’m surprised you haven’t been sainted yet.
Seriously, Stern, take your “concessions” and shove them you know where. You want concessions? Check out the stadium workers losing hours. Look at the Boston Celtics ballboy who uses tips from the players to help pay his way through college. Hell, you can even take the case of the 24-year old blogger who doesn’t have enough money to move out of his parents house, but will take one week’s paycheck to attend a game at the Boston Garden.
If I wasn’t such an addict, I’d turn on the NBA right now. So go, Joe Schmo, go now, go before the NBA can reach its fat, grimy hands into your pocket one more time, and never look back.