Shane Battier, Carl Landry, Chuck Hayes — no report yet on whether Danny Ainge has called to coax Yao Ming, Dikembe Mutombo and Steve Francis out of retirement to officially revive the 2007-08 Houston Rockets.

Two players who would certainly help the Boston Celtics, both in terms of basketball performance and overall team GPA.

As you can probably tell based on Danny Ainge’s interest in approximately 2,398 players since the NBA lockout ended, Ainge is a busy man. That’s what happens when you have seven roster spots to fill, a shortened free agency period in which to fill them, and fairly little money to fill them with.

Battier is probably a long shot. A similar player to James Posey, Battier has said he would like to sign a three- or four-year contract. The Celtics chose to let Posey go rather than sign him for four years after the 2008 championship, when Posey was 31 years old. Battier’s 33 already. Though he won’t necessarily break down like Posey did (which was very similar to the way the Cool Runnings bobsled came unhinged), the Celtics would probably try to limit Battier to a shorter contract. Maybe Ainge could convince him. Maybe Battier will go somewhere else.

Hill has stayed in Phoenix to this point, but at 39 years old, maybe he wants one shot at a championship before retirement. But is Boston that place? At the very least, if Hill signs in Boston, he could play cribbage and knit sweaters with Kevin Garnett and Jermaine O’Neal.

Chuck Hayes is reportedly on the Boston Celtics’ free agent radar. Among other reasons, adding Hayes makes sense because A) the Celtics currently have one center on their roster, and B) that center is Jermaine O’Neal, whose body could come unscrewed at any time. Also, Chuck Hayes is pretty good.

Hayes stands only 6-6, but he’s a plus defender whose low center of gravity, strong and quick hands, and habit of putting himself in the right spot allow him to (somehow) play center against men who could use the top of his head as a stool. Hayes is limited offensively, to be kind, but he’s solid and doesn’t hurt on that end of the floor. Perhaps most importantly, he’s in his 20s (even if he seems old enough to grandfather dozens of children) and has played at least 70 games in each of the past five seasons.

As a detractor, it’s always weird to have a center who may or may not be able to dunk.

Yes, Duke got beat by 9,573 points last night. But at least Doc’s son Austin Rivers dropped 22 points and this highlight crossover.

Chris Paul reportedly would not sign an extension with the Boston Celtics if he were traded to the team. (ESPN)

All of the chatter about Boston’s interest in Chris Paul is a moot point because the All-Star point guard will not sign a long-term contract extension with the Celtics, according to a person close to the situation.

Paul, who will become a free agent after the coming season, essentially has veto power over any trade because no team will give up valuable assets for him without assurance that it can sign him for the next several years.

Of course he wouldn’t. There’s a simple formula for signing extensions:

Boston’s uncertain future + Boston’s weather + Boston’s racial history + it’s not New York + the possibility of playing with Jeff Green for years to come = refusing to sign an extension

Paul has spent enough time playing with the Willie Greens, Marco Belinellis and Marcus Bankses of the NBA world. He wants a contender, so it would take something drastic for him to sign an extension in Boston. It would take Danny Ainge selling him on a vision. It would take proving the Celtics can be title contenders every season. It would take a serious campaign, perhaps luring Dwight Howard, and definitely assuring Paul that he could still Skype with Melo.

It’s a long shot, but hey: it’s happened before.

The Boston Celtics are trying (rather aggressively, if you believe the rumors) to acquire Chris Paul. But I believe there must be something bigger at play, something bigger even than Chris Paul, even if that “something bigger” seems far-fetched and improbable and very much Dwight Howard.

On the surface, trading Rajon Rondo for Chris Paul does not make sense. I certainly believe the Celtics would make the deal — making a trade to upgrade a position normally makes a whole lot of sense, especially when the upgrade doubles as the world’s best point guard — but it’s impossible to ignore the element of selling Paul on Boston, since he would need to sign an extension with the C’s to make any deal feasible. That means Danny Ainge would need to sell Paul on Boston’s murky future, a future that (right now, at least) involves rebuilding with a relatively bare cupboard, or a cupboard that might include Glen Davis and/or Jeff Green as cornerstones. Ainge might as well try selling hair gel to Ray Allen.

Yet there are so many rumors there has to be some truth. Sam Amick says Ainge is “highly motivated” to obtain Paul. Adrian Wojnarowski reports the Celtics are looking for a third team (possibly the Indiana Pacers) to make the trade more doable. John Hollinger listed Boston as one of Paul’s most likely destinations. Where there is smoke, there is normally fire, and in this case, it seems the flames are growing large enough to engulf an entire city. It’s safe to assume that Ainge is desperately (or at least quite actively) pursuing Chris Paul. Which again begs the question: How will Ainge convince Paul to sign an extension with Boston?

He won’t convince Paul by hyping the weather, unless Paul enjoys winter mittens and snow storms. He won’t convince Paul by waxing poetically about Boston’s future prospects, unless Paul enjoys the stench of uncertainty. He might try convincing Paul by selling Doc Rivers’ new five-year contract, but even Doc’s sterling reputation as a players’ coach probably isn’t enough to overturn the pulls currently working against Boston, pulls that have always precluded Boston from signing superstar free agents in the past. No, if Ainge sells Chris Paul on Boston, he is selling him on a complete vision for the future, one that would need to include Doc Rivers, All-Star teammates and, most importantly, the ability to compete for championships every season.

Ainge must be trying to acquire Paul, then turn around and swipe Dwight Howard from Orlando. There’s no other explanation I can think of that could lead to Paul landing in Boston, or at least no explanation that makes sense. The possibility of teaming with Howard is the only sweetener that would make Boston appetizing enough for Paul to consider overlooking his reported love affair with Carmelo Anthony and New York City. I understand fully I probably sound like an irrational, overly optimistic fan boy right now — “AHHHH!!! CHRIS PAUL AND DWIGHT HOWARD!!!!!!” But is there anything else that could make Paul consider committing to Boston long-term?

There are ways teaming them both together is possible. If the Celtics trade Rondo for Paul, they will still have assets (namely: two 2012 draft picks, sign-and-trade rights to Glen Davis and Jeff Green, and a slew of expiring contracts) to throw at Orlando. That doesn’t mean any of these acquisitions are probable: more likely, Ainge swings and misses on Paul, Howard goes to the Lakers and Ainge goes back to wishing he never traded for Jeff Green. But turning a pu-pu platter into Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett (and ultimately a 17th banner) didn’t seem probable either. Anything is possible.

Trading for Chris Paul alone just doesn’t make sense. Ainge is planning a coup to extend Boston’s window of opportunity indefinitely. Let’s just hope it works out like 2007.