NBA owners spoke for an entire 20 minutes today during a conference call, according to an ESPN report, and did not even begin to discuss strategy.
Instead, topics of conversation may or may not have included:
♦ The Maloof brothers’ attempt to run a lemonade stand during the lockout.
They explained how DeMarcus Cousins came by and stomped on the table, shocked that the Maloofs wanted $75 for a single cup.
Lemonade splattered everywhere after Cousins’ fit, and if that wasn’t enough, the Maloof brothers were later fined by the league for contact with Cousins. They secured a loan to pay the fine, and were later unapologetic about their expensive lemonade.
“That way, once we sell a million cups, we can finally pay back our debt to the NBA,” they said.
♦ Paul Allen begging Dan Gilbert for a Kobe Bryant Fathead, claiming they were sold out online and he only needed one more to complete his collection.
“I’ll trade you Brandon Roy,” Allen offered.
“Why do I need a Brandon Roy Fathead? I own the damn company,” Gilbert replied.
“No. I’ll trade you Brandon Roy.”
♦ Robert Sarver offering Phoenix’s next first-round pick to anyone, everyone, for $3 million.
“What?” Michael Jordan answered. “You want me to pay $3 million so I can select someone who will never help my club and will absolutely become a huge disappointment and might turn me into a mockery?”
“Umm, Michael,” replied Sarver, “some teams actually use the draft to improve.”
“Just not Phoenix or Charlotte,” interjected Wyc Grousbeck.