33 things I know about the Boston Celtics after three games
(Editor’s note: This commercial is presented apropos to nothing.)
I don’t know exactly what last night meant. If you’re looking for a Titanic, ship is falling post, this won’t be for you. If you’re looking for someone to tell you the Celtics are going to rebound and finish 63-3, Greg Stiemsma will win Rookie of the Year and Doc Rivers will do the Moonwalk while accepting the Larry O’Brien Trophy this summer, this post won’t be for you either (although Stiemsma really is going to win Rookie of the Year, amirite?).
After three games, here are the things I know:
1. The Celtics are 0-3.
2. They’ve played a brutal schedule. First the Knicks on the road, then the Heat on the road, then the second night of a road back-to-back that followed flying from Miami to New Orleans after a night game.
3. That brutal schedule has been played without Paul Pierce.
4. Kevin Garnett looks significantly less agile than last season. Maybe I’m imagining things. Maybe I’m freaking out about the 0-3 start. Maybe he’s just struggling to get his legs adapted after such a short training camp. Maybe my biggest fears are coming true and he’s finally been kidnapped by age. After three games, I’m not sure about anything. I just know the early returns haven’t been sparkling.
5. If Garnett looks significantly less agile than last season, Jermaine O’Neal looks significantly more dead than last season. Watching O’Neal play offense (if you can call it that) has been sad. Legitimately sad. Through three games, he’s made 3-12 shots. And almost all of the attempts have been inside the paint. I still think (hope?) he’ll make a nice defensive impact this year. There’s always a chance he starts to convert bunnies near the rim. But at this point, O’Neal’s like a broke man’s Ben Wallace. Which is very sad, because his defense was a legitimate difference maker in the playoffs last season.
While I’m on the subject: playing with O’Neal and Sasha Pavlovic in the starting lineup is like playing 3-on-5, only worse. Because if the Celtics started games 3-on-5, at least I wouldn’t have to fucking watch Sasha Pavlovic. Can you tell I’m a little bitter?
6. Greg Stiemsma can block shots.
7. If Stiemsma, O’Neal, Pavlovic and Avery Bradley started a game of 21 now, they might be able to finish it in time for the playoffs.
8. Mickael Pietrus is coming soon. He’ll add shooting and defense, but he doesn’t help my next worry:
9. The bench has zero perimeter playmakers. I’m convinced that Bradley, Pavlovic, Keyon Dooling and E’Twaun Moore believe that stepping into the paint would cause them to grow a pig’s snout and simultaneously burst into flames.
10. I like Brandon Bass. Even if he played a lot like The Fat Power Forward Who Must Not Be Named last night, Bass can score the rock.
11. After three games, the Celtics are 27th — 27th!!!!!! — in defensive efficiency.
12. After three games, the Celtics are 15th in offensive efficiency.
13. The slow start is more about the defense than the offense. But it’d be nice if the C’s started hitting more threes (the Heat game aside) and stopped turning over the ball so damn often.
14. At least while Pierce is absent, the Celtics need Rajon Rondo to pull miracles out of his arm sleeve. Thirteen points and six assists just isn’t going to cut it. Not even against the Eric Gordon-less New Orleans Hornets.
15. The Celtics really lost to the Eric Gordon-less Hornets. By 19 points, no less.
16. Rondo is capable of scoring a lot of points.
17. Rondo doesn’t always bring the mentality needed to score a lot of points.
18. When Pierce returns to the lineup, Pavlovic will find his way out of the rotation. Pierce will help in a lot of ways, but that might be his biggest contribution.
19. When Pietrus lands in the lineup, Moore and Bradley will almost certainly be kicked out out of the rotation. I’d love to see more Moore, but I’m okay with his minutes going to a proven vet.
20. If you can see Greg Stiemsma, he can see you. If you can’t see Stiemsma, you may be moments away from death.
21. The over-under on “times Stiemsma is compared to a random white Celtic (i.e. Andrew DeClerq, Travis Knight, Brett Szabo or Brian Scalabrine)” is infinity.
22. It’s safe to say JaJuan Johnson is not ready.
23. What Doc said after last night’s loss to New Orleans: “We looked old tonight.”
24. Doc named Jermaine O’Neal the MVP of training camp. Must have been one hell of a training camp.
25. Ray Allen can still shoot.
26. I can’t say I love Keyon Dooling, but I like him.
27. It’s one thing to break out a desperation 2-3 zone against the Heat. It’s quite another to break one out against Marco Belinelli and the Hornets.
28. The C’s just can’t get stops so far. But how much of Boston’s defensive struggles is due to age? How much is due to the loss of Tom Thibodeau one season and Lawrence Frank the next? How much is due to small sample size? How much is due to having a ten-minute long training camp? I know the problem, but I’m not yet quite sure of the diagnosis.
29. Jeff Green would have helped.
30. And I don’t even particularly appreciate Green’s game.
31. The Celtics could really use a win against Detroit on Friday night.
32. After listing 31 things I know about the Boston Celtics, I want to A) cry, B) take a 45-minute shower to cleanse myself and C) stop writing things I know about the Boston Celtics.
33. I had to write one more thing. When writing a list about the Boston Celtics, always get to 33. Larry Bird, ladies and gentleman. The Greatest.
Related posts:
- Two Boston Celtics preseason games cancelled by lockout
- What (I think) I’ve learned about the Boston Celtics in three games
- Boston Celtics training camp 2011 will be held in Waltham
- Boston Celtics vs. Cleveland Cavaliers: Big games mean something in the NBA
- Avery Bradley, Jermaine O’Neal to play games, real basketball games, today
Celtics Blog | Jay King | December 29, 2011
[...] From the Other Side – Hornets 12/28CelticsBlog Back To Back Big Easy Blues Celtics Town 33 things I know about the Boston Celtics after three gamesOn Aggressive Rondo0-3: Hornets 97, Celtics 78E’Twaun Moore, Greg Stiemsma earn spots in the [...]
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There’s just no excuse for Rondo anymore. The cat is out of the bag, pal. We know you can shoot and we know you can score. We know that our offense DEPENDS ON YOUR AGGRESSIVE PLAY. Period. End of story. You play soft, we suck. You play hard and aggressive, we can be great. NO MORE EXCUSES. I do NOT want to see anyone else with more FGA. I want you, Rondo, first or second in FGA every game. I want you over 10 FTA every game. No excuses. None. No excuses anymore. Either play like the leader you are, or go to the end of the bench, because we really do not need a pg whose only accomplishment is making Jarret Jack look like Isaiah Thomas. No one needs that.
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Wow man, Your all worried about Rondo?? You better frikken’ hope danny angie and Dwight Howard are in eachothers pocket’s buddy, because this Celtic team that I have loved good or bad for the last 30+ year’s………..SUCK!
Danny Angie has officially entered (previously might I add) the “STUPID ZONE”. This team will officially SUCK for the next 9 year’s thank’s to this moron called a G.M. & your bagging on “Double-R” about not shooting enough/being aggressive enough????? WTF.
Traded Who and for WHAT??? BOTH PERK AND BABY…Gone? Crickety old men who are all Three 1/2 of what they were except for maybe Ray Allen is at 2/3 VS just 1/2. Green????? WHo really thought that this guy was in shape??? Nobody but Danny Angie did! He had to take a cash in a blank envelope “personally” on the side in order to be that stupid to make the trades he has made in recent year’s, nevermind not making the ones he clearly has no brains 2 make! & your bagging in Double-R????????? Dwight Howard is not in a Celtic uniform shortly, if “D12″ himself does not show up in NewEngland/Boston as a CELTIC……and take his rightfull place beside TB12
as a Patriot, then I’m calling for the Hoi Poloi of New England to break min to Danny’s house and SH*^ on his bed worse than was done to Bill Walton back in the day.
Danny Angie has set this team up for utter failure for the next 9 year’s in addition to disapointment of the last few year’s. One Title when the original Big-3 were fresh is all he has to show for himself besides a moutain of mistakes after mistakes after mistakes after mistakes in roster/cap/personel. & you bagging on Rondo????? WTF.
Dwight Howard will be Danny’s only saving grace, if not hang-em from the raffter’s for destroying this franchise and taking money on the side for doing it(there is no other ligitimnate “REASON” for anything otherwise).
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See? Games like last night are why Rondo is in trade talks. Like always he almost completely disappears for games at a time. I love the kid to death and when he wants to be he’s a megastar player… when he wants to be.
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i just wanted to add one more thing about celtics that they FUCKED up by tradeing Marshon brooks for triple J, that kid couldve scored for us and his doing that for nets now!!!!! we just have to face it they got a BAD team and they have no chance at a title this year i would be happy if we even make the playoffs with the 5 or 6th seed! so dissapointed, literally no one can score at will this year! and for Rondo, i love him as a player but when they said he wouldnt have the numbers he had if it wasnt for the big 3 is kinda true now, because as the big 3 slows down, he slows with them!!!! i mean that layup fail was emeberassing, streight up you could tell he was afraid of being blocked when he wasnt even in the air, your younga nd FAST you should take it to the rack HARD and STRONG. i hope iam wrong but iam just so dissapointed with the hornets game!
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They FU&^$D-Up by giving Danny Angie full control of personel. This guy need’s to stop sucking D%$^k and taking envelopes of cash on the side for trading away anything and everything that even backed the original Big-3. They are aged and show it daily, if there is “NOTHING” around or backing them…..then what the hell are they even still here for?????
Danny better have D12 in his back pocket or he’s D-O-N-E, and should be. What a MORON. Hey I have an idea….I’m Danny Angie, and I’m gonna trade away another title for another looser who won’t be able to play, HOORAY-ME! Does anyother team in the NBA wanna’ pawn off their garbage on my Celtic Reign for nobodies, the injured, and never were’s…..? Just call I-800-326-6938 @ extension 62277, that’s 1800dannydumbass, again, that’s 1800dannydumbass where you can pawn off your garbage on me for actual nba player’s with talent!!!!!
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