Barring an improbable trade, the Boston Celtics are as likely to land Austin Rivers (projected as a lottery pick and “moving up fast” according to NBA.com’s David Aldridge) as Nick Young is to lead the NBA in assists next season.

As such, father (Doc) and son (Austin) have already begun jawing at each other in preparation for their first meeting next season. (ESPN)

“One Sunday morning I was sitting at breakfast thinking about all of it and I said, ‘This is going to be fun,” Doc said. “I get competitive, and I know how competitive Austin is. I started thinking, ‘If he starts against us, he’s going to try for 70 [points].’”

Austin has considered what it would be like to walk into the Garden and veer away from the locker room where he has spent so many of his teenage years. It will be odd to purposefully avoid the coach’s office where his father will be drawing up defensive schemes to thwart him.

He’s already made up his mind he will approach his father, give him a hug, catch up on family gossip, then “talk a little trash.”

“That’s already started, by the way,” Austin reported. “For the past few weeks, Dad’s been saying, ‘When we play you next year, you’re not going to get a single basket.’”

Jackie MacMullan reports that the Celtics have “no intention of breaking [their] back to move up and grab the coach’s son.” The younger Rivers said he would love to play for his father, but admitted he’s “not expecting it to happen.”

If it improbably did, said Doc, his son would help the Celtics. They need scoring and shot creating off the bench, and those are Austin’s specialties.

“I don’t even let myself think about it,” Doc answered. “If it happens, we’ll figure it out. Talent-wise, if I remove the fact he’s my son, he’d be a very good fit.”