I’m sure you’ve heard people saying that this is a rematch of the second round matchup last year. And I guess it kind of is, but a whole bunch of different pieces are in place for both teams, so previewing and predicting this thing is kind of useless. As such, I’ll give you a different bit of uselessness: three irrational reasons why I like and dislike the Philadelphia 76ers.
I don’t like Philadelphia because
- Doug Collins hates advanced stats and says he would “blow his own brains out” if he had to study them. I love advanced stats. They are kind of my baby, always growing up and learning things that I didn’t know, teaching me more about basketball. Doug Collins hates them? I am the sads.
- They didn’t sign Jacob Pullen. Pullen was the second nicest person I have ever interviewed, topped only by Kyle O’Quinn. He shook my hand after the interview, looked me in the eyes and thanked me for my interest. Needless to say, he immediately became my favoritest ever.
- Spencer Hawes has a mullet and it bothers me.
I DO like Philadelphia because
- Andrew Bynum with an afro looks a little like Frederick Douglass, who was a total friggin’ badass. If you don’t know, now you know and you should go read all about how awesome he was. Even more awesome than Jacob Pullen, if you can imagine.
- They signed Maalik Wayns. Wayns was awesome at the Orlando Summer League and I totally said he would make it in the NBA and nobody believed me, so ha, you guys can suck it.
- I’ve never really had anything AGAINST Kwame Brown. I just feel kind of bad for the guy. Like, if I was 7-feet tall and my first NBA experience was Michael Jordan screaming at me that I’m terrible at everything, I can’t imagine that I’d be much better, ya know? So it’s sort of a camaraderie thing. Me and Kwams have a lot in common.
I’m assuming, since you here with us at Celtics Town, that you probably don’t need to be told who to cheer for, but I hope this guide helps. If you hate mullets and aren’t that emotionally attached to Maalik Wayns, I think we can pretty safely say that this is an easy choice.
Follow Tom on Twitter: @Tom_NBA, where he is likely to be even less rational than he was in this post.