Big Baby: "Come play with me next year." Jermaine: "No doubt, son."

Jermaine O’Neal has officially signed with the Boston Celtics, according to Adrian Wojnarowski.

Some people aren’t as excited about O’Neal as I am, and I can see why because he was beyond miserable against the Celtics in the playoffs. But let’s put things in perspective: He just shot a career-high 53% from the field, averaged 13.6 points and 6.9 rebounds, and is a defensive presence too.

With only the mid-level exception to spend, the Celtics weren’t going to get anyone better. Shaq isn’t better (pick-and-roll defense beyond bad). Brad Miller isn’t better (over-the-hill, very slow). Kwame Brown definitely isn’t better (I could choose almost anything as my reason).

This is a great signing, especially if O’Neal doesn’t get the full mid-level. Yahoo! reported yesterday he would receive somewhere “near the midlevel.” Hopefully that’s code for, “he inexplicably wants to take a veteran’s minimum contract because he is desperately hungry for a ring.”

I’ll let you know what the deal is but, for now, just be happy O’Neal is the C’s newest player.

Update: A. Sherrod Blakely tweeteth, “League source confirmed Yahoo! report that Jermaine O’Neal has agreed to sign with the Celtics. Likely for most or all of MLE.”

Update #2: The deal is for the full mid-level. Well, that sucks. But it’s still a good signing.

David Lee: "Isiah, what do you think about yesterday's free agent spend-a-palooza?" Isiah: "Genius. Sheer genius."

So my brother’s birthday is on the worst possible day for an NBA blogger to celebrate his brother’s 21st: The first day of free agency. But it was his 21st, so I had to choose family over blogging (I know, I’ve got to get my priorities straight).

We went to the casino, where I was at once the designated driver for my brother and a couple of our friends and also prepared to lose every cent to my name. I came out on top, though, mostly because I’m the white Phil Ivey. (And partially because I flopped a flush against pocket kings with my 3-4 of hearts.)

But that’s a different story. The real story yesterday was that I kept getting tweets on my phone, telling me about the contracts being shelled out. Drew Gooden for $32 million. Joe Johnson for $119 million. Darko Milicic for $20 million. Rudy Gay for $81 million. Amir Johnson for $34 million.

I kept looking at my phone, cracking up, and then becoming furious that Scal hasn’t yet been offered $25 million over three years. (Don’t worry folks, Scal’s day is coming… On second thought, maybe not.) The players have clearly been drugging NBA GMs and forcing them to offer outrageous, potentially franchise-crippling contracts. How else could you explain second- and third-fiddles getting max contracts? How else could you explain the Bucks wasting $6 million per year for a solid seventh or eighth man? How else could you explain Darko still being in the league, never mind making $5 million a year? The NBA went buck wild yesterday, folks, and some very mediocre players celebrated its zaniness.

While many GMs around the league summonsed their inner Isiah Thomas, Danny Ainge and the Celtics stayed mostly quiet. They called Ray Allen at 12:01, worked on re-signing Paul Pierce, and spoke to a few free agents. They seem entirely content to bring the same crew back, add a few supporting players, and return next season with a revamped bench and revenge on their minds.

Since I missed out on blogging yesterday’s free agent bonanza, here are my thoughts on what went on with the Celtics:

Doc Rivers calls Ray at 12:01

Yes. Absolutely. Was there any other choice? It always seemed like a given that Pierce was going to come back, granted his history with the team and such. But Ray? He doesn’t have the same ties to Boston, and his shooting stroke makes him a perfect wing-man for any star in the league. Doc was smart to call him at 12:01, and — if he’s really intelligent — will hound Ray with phone calls until Ray gets to the point where he re-signs just so he doesn’t have to hear Doc’s voice so often.

Interest in David Lee?

So the Celtics, armed with only the mid-level exception, think they might be able to sign an All-Star? In a league where Drew Gooden fetches $32 million over five years, call me a non-believer. There are two ways the C’s sign Lee: 1) He decides not to get the first giant contract of his career, choosing to win for the first time instead. Or 2) The Knicks agree to a sign-and-trade for Glen Davis and Rasheed Wallace’s retiring contract, in which case Lee might STILL be underpaid in a Celtics uniform. In the end, it’s more likely Darko Milicic will be paid $5 million per year through 2014 than it is David Lee will play for the Celtics next year. Wait, somebody’s actually paying Darko that much, for that long? In the NBA, never say never.

J.J. Redick a possibility

I love J.J.’s game. He’s a great shooter, wildly underrated defender, and  better playmaker than anyone would expect. He’d make perfect sense in a Celtics jersey. I just don’t see how the Celtics can afford him. He’s a restricted free agent, and the C’s only have the mid-level to offer. Don’t the Magic have to match a mid-level offer for Redick? Especially if he’d be going to the C’s otherwise? I just don’t see any scenario where the Magic let Redick leave for only the mid-level.

Miller Time

Between Lee, Redick and the Millers, the Celtics sure are targeting a lot of white guys. I like Brad Miller, but I’d prefer not to waste the entire mid-level on a 6’11,” over-the-hill ogre, no matter how good a shooter and passer he is. And Mike? Sources say he might be due for a huge payday, more than the mid-level. Isn’t money worth anything to these overspending fools who call themselves GMs?

Anthony Morrow an option

The Celtics are one of the teams interested in acquiring Morrow’s services. Yes, please. Let’s look at a list we’d want in a backup wing man: Great shooter? Check. Young? Check. Cheap? Check. Top-notch defense? Umm… he’s been playing for Don Nelson, so I can’t even tell if it’s Morrow’s fault that he’s swiss cheese. Weak defense aside, Morrow would be a deadeye shooter off the bench for a team that needs just that. Would I rather have Redick or Morrow? Probably Redick. But Morrow’s younger and less expensive. Not a bad choice, not at all.

Is there anything that happened yesterday that I forgot to mention? Probably. But I was too busy stealing from fishes and check-raising unsuspecting tourists to pay perfect attention to everything that happened in the Celtics world.

Don’t worry, I’m back today, in full force. But I got to experience the life of a blogger yesterday – I made more money in a day off than I do in a full day’s work. I’m not worried about it, though: One of these days, David Kahn is going to come banging on my door with a $15 million deal in hand. No doubt about it.

If J.J. Redick signed with the C's, it wouldn't exactly be a shocker. Get it?

The Celtics are looking into acquiring J.J. Redick with their mid-level exception, and will be dangling Rasheed Wallace’s contract in hopes of luring an impact big man. (Yahoo!)

Wallace has yet to file retirement papers, so the $6.32 million owed him next season and $6.79 million in 2011-12 would come off a team’s books after Wallace is traded to them. They could do a deal and not take on his money. Ainge is trying to use the Wallace contract to bring back a power forward or center to replace Wallace and the injured Kendrick Perkins.

The Celtics could then use their midlevel exception for a different player. Several sources believe that Ainge’s target is Orlando’s J.J. Redick, who is a restricted free agent.

Boston has strong interest in Brad Miller in free agency and could try to acquire Dallas center Erick Dampier.

The problem with going after Redick is that he’s a restricted free agent. Armed with only the mid-level exception, I don’t know if Boston will be able to draw him away from Orlando. The Magic will have the option to match any offer Redick receives.

If Dampier and Miller don’t work out, Rasheed’s contract and Glen Davis could be packaged together to bring Eddy Curry to the Celtics. Curry would add a proven big man scorer to start while Perkins is injured and then be a reliable reserve once Perk comes back.

By the way, just kidding on the Curry idea. Sorry if you just smashed your head through your computer screen in disgust. Did you really think the Celtics and I were that fucking stupid? Did you?

In a moment of all seriousness, the Celtics HAVE to be targeting Kyle Korver and Rasual Butler, right? Two veteran’s minimum possibilities who would both help. Sounds good to me, and should sound good to Danny. Of the two, Butler’s my pick — he’s not allergic to defense. But Korver’s shooting makes you overlook his inability to guard people, even if that inability is painfully obvious at all times he’s on the court. If it doesn’t exactly seem like I’m giving Korver a ringing endorsement, I’m not. But if you can pick up a deadeye shooter for the veteran’s minimum (and one who isn’t a walking cadaver — *coughcough* Michael Finley *coughcough*), then you’ve GOT to do it.

I wonder if the Celtics will also look to acquire Brendan Haywood with Sheed’s contract. The Mavs are reportedly open to a sign-and-trade including Haywood.

Reason #1,489 I know I'm not over the NBA Finals: This picture made me legitimately sad.

In the same piece in which he reported Brad Miller will be the C’s top free agent priority this offseason, Adrian Wojnarowski also reported the Celtics are confident Doc Rivers will be their coach next season. (Yahoo!)

The Celtics are still confident coach Doc Rivers will return for the final year of his contract, and he plans to make a decision this week on whether he will be back for a seventh season or join his family in Orlando.

Rivers has been behaving like a coach who plans to return. He participated in the Celtics’ draft preparation, and he had been working with GM Danny Ainge to prepare for the start of free agency on Thursday. He has also had conversations with prospective candidates to replace Tom Thibodeau on his coaching staff, but that hire is on hold.

Rivers had meetings planned with close associates this week to discuss his future.

That Doc is behaving like a coach who plans to return is good. Then again, he could just be behaving like a decent guy who doesn’t want to leave people he cares about out to dry. I really believe he still hasn’t decided, but I truly hope he decides to come back. If I have to hear Vinny Del Negro mentioned once more as a potential Celtics coach, the cops might as well arrest me before I do something very harmful to human kind.

Rondo fouling Brad MIller hard

The Celtics have targeted Brad Miller as their top free agent, according to Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports.

With the recent retirement of Rasheed Wallace, and the season-ending MCL and PCL tear of starting center Kendrick Perkins, the Celtics will need a forward/center to fill in. Miller is a tough defender and cerebral offensive player with 11 seasons of NBA experience.

Ironically, Miller was the Boston Celtics’ and  its fans’ arch-enemy in the 2009 NBA playoffs. In last season’s seven game series, Rajon Rondo close-lined Brad Miller on a late-game shot, which infused animosity between Miller and the Celtics–animosity Miller thrived on.