Very few teams can make these Boston Celtics look so disorganized, so disheveled, so entirely unaware of what they’re attempting to accomplish. With a tip of the cap, I salute former Celtics defensive coordinator Tom Thibodeau, and his troops, who proved willing to follow their peerless leader’s advice all night long. These Bulls receive top-notch education at the dirty end of the court, and tonight they deserve an awful lot of credit for making these Celtics look so abominably disjointed. The Bulls earned their 90-79 win.

But while taking away nothing from Chicago’s beyond-worthy effort, let’s not let these Celtics off the hook. Against a defense like Chicago’s, ball movement and player movement initiate success. Yet the Celtics were uncharacteristically unable to find the open man with any consistency, and also unable to shed the stagnancy that plagued an ugly offensive night. If you want to know why Ray Allen and Paul Pierce seemed curiously uninvolved, the woeful ball movement’s your answer. The Celtics didn’t bring their normal energy. I suspect the cause was a combination of Kevin Garnett’s absence, the natural effect of a back-to-back’s second night, and the simple yet thorough bullying session pieced together by a physical, tough Chicago squad.

From an individual standpoint, I saw little that I enjoyed. Perhaps the most striking realization came from Shaq. Looking across the court at a frontcourt of Kurt Thomas (6’9 and flabby) and Carlos Boozer (not so flabby, but also only 6’9 and pointedly less defensively inclined), Shaq should have smelled mismatches. He should have feasted like Michael Sweetney on Thanksgiving, posting and toasting and roasting in a way that would have brought Walt “Clyde” Frazier immense pride.

Instead, Shaq offered what he’s recently become far too likely to offer — a dud. Five points, four rebounds, and very little impact on the game. If you expected Shaq to successfully exploit mismatches, think again. He’s officially a complementary player, and nothing more. He can thrive when finishing his teammates’ plays, but that’s it. Even against defenders far smaller than he, Shaq no longer possesses the requisite balance or the lift to take advantage of his extra five inches of height. I suppose I should have known that before. I guess I even DID know that. But this was Kurt Thomas we’re talking about! He’s short, and flabby, and he’s got (in the memorable words of Sonny Koufax) old balls! I know Thomas has established a stellar defensive reputation throughout his career, but Shaq (in my dreams) still should have manufactured a big night. Or, at least, better than five points and four rebounds. Alas, my hopes of Shaq exploting mismatches are now permanently shattered. With a 38-year old Shaq, there’s no such thing as a mismatch.

Haters will point to Derrick Rose’s free throw tally and shout conspiracy. Realists will look to his free throw tally and realize, “Damn, Rose was THAT difficult to defend.” For a long time, we’ve heard analysts say Rose needs to draw more fouls. With his cheetah-like package of speed, quickness and power, there’s no reason Rose shouldn’t average as many free throw attempts as anyone else.

Tonight, we might have seen the latest step in Rose’s evolution. He didn’t just draw contact; he invited it. He didn’t just pick up fouls shots; he actively sought them. If the Derrick Rose we saw tonight — the scary, miniaturized freight train intent on accumulating charity shots — becomes the Rose who plays every night, the NBA’s Eastern Conference may soon have another legitimate contender. And please, try diminishing his output by telling me he only notched two assists the entire night. I don’t care. The Bulls need Rose to score, and that’s exactly what he did. Assists be damned, I’ll take 36 points on 19 shots any day of the week. And twice on Sundays.

Back to the Celtics, Kevin Garnett was missed sorely, which was clearly obvious to anyone who saw Carlos Boozer traipse unimpeded to the hoop. And annoying doesn’t even begin to describe getting (almost literally) nothing from the second unit. While Davis fills in for Garnett as a starter, the Celtics’ bench holds a bunch of wild cards. Do you know what Nate Robinson’s going to offer from one night to the next? Absolutely not. Can you rely on Von Wafer to produce every game? Nope. What about Luke Harangody, Jermaine O’Neal, Marquis Daniels or Semih Erden. No, no, no and no. With Davis starting, I wouldn’t call a single Celtic reserve consistent. Or anything close to it.

Davis wasn’t a stud tonight, either, of course. In fact, it’s time to end this post right now. If I keep writing any longer, I fear Davis will somehow find a way to miss yet another jumper.

Well done, Thibs. Well done.

After the Celtics pulled away for a not-as-close-as-the-score-would-indicate 104-92 win, only one question remained: would Brian Scalabrine enter the game?

With just more than a minute remaining, Scal finally heared his number called. A little while later, a chorus of boos rained down from the rafters. No, the crowd didn’t despise Scal. There were no “Ass-hole” chants, and no signs saying “Quitness.” Nobody venomously chanted the name of a player who may or may not have slept with Scal’s mother. The crowd was upset for another reason — Scal had been called for a foul. Even now, Scal’s a fan favorite. As soon as the game reached garbage time, the crowd clamored for the red-headed assassin to play some minutes. And yes, I just called Scal an assassin.

Do you want to know the real reason I led this recap with a stupid Brian Scalabrine anecdote, rather than discussing a player who had an actual impact on the game? I didn’t know whether Rajon Rondo or Kevin Garnett should be the real lead, so I went with the number one rule of writing Celtics recaps — when in doubt, choose Scal. Okay, so I made that rule up just now. Sue me.

Garnett sent a simple message to the NBA: don’t piss off Kevin Garnett. Joakim Noah screwed up. He called Garnett ugly. He called Garnett a “very mean guy.” He demeaned Garnett to reporters, and the bad thing for Noah was this — Garnett was listening. Garnett, from the opening tip, had Noah in his crosshairs. Garnett has always been a vengeful person, someone who becomes motivated even if you just breathe on him the wrong way. He feeds on emotion, feeds on the feeling that someone has wronged him. Last year, he just couldn’t do anything about that emotion. Garnett would get all fired up to play, he’d bang his head on the basket support, and then — zoom — Kris Humphries would drive by him while Garnett limped behind.

This year, when Garnett gets fired up, he can actually do something about it. He wanted to teach Noah a lesson, and Garnett now has the ability to do it. He can now drop 16 points and 11 rebounds in the first half. No more limping. No more being overmatched by inferior opponents. Kevin Garnett is back to being Kevin Garnett, and that never ceases to be a beautiful thing. At this time last year, I thought KG would never recover. I thought he was all washed up. Just don’t tell him I said that. I don’t need him dropping a double-double on me in the first half.

As for Rondo? I take him for granted. It’s that simple. He makes the game look so easy.

Oh, a rebound is coming my way. Why don’t I just touch-pass it to Shaq before I even catch it?

Oh, look, Paul Pierce found a sliver of daylight underneath the hoop. Why don’t I just fire a no-look bullet of a pass, so he can make the easiest layup of his life?

Gee, Kevin Garnett’s man is fronting him. Why don’t I just lob a perfect pass over the top, leading Garnett into an easy dunk?

Whenever Rondo plays against Derrick Rose, the contrast between the two players couldn’t be more evident. Rose calls his own number a lot, while Rondo, well, doesn’t. Rose looks to attack, attack, attack, while Rondo probes the defense, searching for an open teammate the whole while. Rose doesn’t just jump; he coils his body in preparation for take-off. He is strong enough to bounce off defenders and maintain his balance, but fast enough to sometimes make Rondo look a little slow.

Rose can score against anybody, but Rondo just knows how to run an offense, in a way that Rose can’t yet, and might never be able to. If you judged a point guard simply by his mastery of his own offense, PGs don’t get much better than what Rondo has provided this season. Rose is great, even magnificent at times, and I would take him on my team any day. But for a team as stacked and deep as the Boston Celtics, I don’t know if I would want any point guard besides Rajon Rondo.

There were other things that happened, of course. Semih Erden was as useful as he has been in a while. Paul Pierce was briefly unstoppable in the fourth quarter. Rondo picked Rose’s pocket a couple times, and was dialed in the whole game. The Celtics scored 189 points in the paint (slight exaggeration) and out-rebounded the Bulls by ten boards (fact). Marquis Daniels dunked, which was odd. Shaq is large, Nate Robinson is not so large, and Von Wafer still loves to shoot.

Most importantly, Rasheed Wallace watched from the stands. Shockingly, he was not issued a technical foul and did not shoot any ill-advised three-pointers.

The Celtics host the Chicago Bulls tonight at 8:00, at the TD Garden. My brother Tommy will be at the game, thanks to the fact that my uncle is now dead to me. My uncle had only one extra ticket to the game, and offered it Tommy instead of me. If you ever see me in person, please remind me never to speak to my uncle again. Thanks.

Carlos Boozer recently returned for the Chicago Bulls, which means he has finally recovered from his “I tripped over a gym bag because it was dark in my house” injury. Frankly, I don’t care much about Boozer, nor his health. There’s something about him I always found boring. Sure, he’s pretty good and was also the subject of one of the greatest photographs ever, but Boozer’s game does nothing for me. I’m a Duke fan, too, so I should appreciate him. I just could never enjoy an undersized (yet brolic) big man who loves shooting rainbow jumpers.

With Kirk Hinrich (and his scrappy play) gone for less green pastures, there are only four Bulls I now honestly care about. Sorry, Luol Deng and C.J. Watson, you guys didn’t make the cut. Also, extra apologies to Kyle Korver. I’m normally quite fond of shooters who look like Ashton Kutcher.

Derrick Rose

A hypotethical conversation with Rose:

Me: Exactly how good are you, Derrick Rose? More importantly, what is your ceiling?

Rose: How good am I? 25 and 8 good, as a 22-year old. And, umm, ceiling? That word doesn’t apply to me.

Me: Oh, yeah. And you’re younger than I am? Making all that noise in the NBA? Hot damn.

There aren’t many things in the world better than watching a Rose-Rondo matchup. The matchup was great even before this season — blazing speed everywhere, two entirely different approaches to the same position, young studs on their way to greatness. And this year? The matchup is even better. Not only did both players take the leap to true stardom, but they are also now bigger rivals based on, well, whatever happened in the FIBA World Championships this summer.

One game, Rajon Rondo started over Rose. The next, he received a DNP against Ricky Rubio and Spain. A few days later, Rondo supposedly withdrew from the team. I still don’t know whether to believe that story, but at least believe this: Rondo doesn’t forget that DNP. He believes he’s the world’s best point guard, and probably thinks Coach K is nuts for putting Rose ahead of him in the rotation.

Joakim Noah

Noah’s annoying. He hates KG, and called KG ugly. He’s demonstrative, and his jumper makes people wish they were blind. And did I say he was annoying?

Still, I like Noah. I feel like I should apologize for that, but I will not apologize. Noah may not like KG as a person, but there’s still some KG to his game. The intensity. The motor. The tendency to scream, very loudly, and beat his chest like it stole something. The truth is, Noah plays basketball the way it is supposed to be played. He attacks every rebound, unselfishly finds teammates, and only occasionally forgets to throw an outlet pass near the end of a game. (Sorry, Joakim, I had to bring it up.) In all seriousness, if my unborn child one day plays with Joakim Noah’s passion, I’ll be a proud father.

Tom Thibodeau

There was that one “he forget to make a single substitution” thing during a game Doc Rivers got ejected from, but Thibodeau’s one brief snafu can easily be forgotten amidst his otherwise honorable term as Doc Rivers’ assistant coach. The Celtics are still a staunch defensive outfit, of course, even without Thibs. But he helped instill their defensive mentality. Along with Kevin Garnett, Thibodeau should be given the most credit for shaping one of the league’s most-respected defenses.

The same things he accomplished in Boston, Thibodeau is now doing in Chicago.

“I think that we’re definitely starting to get an identity because of him,” Noah told ESPN Chicago. “He’s a tough coach, nothing’s easy, you gotta work really hard every day. You have to come with the right mindset, no days off.”

“He’s definitely competitive, but that’s what we want,” Noah continued. “That’s what we want our identity to be, even though it’s frustrating at times because you’re tired. But I think he knows what it takes to win. That’s the beauty of it. I feel like he’s been in championship locker rooms before, and not everyone has the chance to play for somebody who’s experienced it before. You know he knows because he’s been there and that’s a beautiful thing.”

“Because of his work ethic you have to take your hat off to him,” Kurt Thomas added. “He’d stay here 22, 23 hours a day if he could. If he didn’t have to go to sleep and get rest, he’d be up here in this gym. If he’s not out here on the floor, he’s breaking down film and trying to figure out the mistakes he’s made and trying to correct them.”

Yup. That’s the Tom Thibodeau I remember. But fear not, Celtics fans: Lawrence Frank has done an admirable job taking over the ”little white guy who can’t stop screaming during games” position.

Brian Scalabrine

Last, but not least, comes Scal. And a picture is worth a thousand words.

Where's the love? I'll show you the love.

Once upon a time, Joakim Noah idolized Kevin Garnett. He had Garnett’s poster in his room. He wore Garnett’s jersey. At the time Noah made it to the NBA himself, he admired Garnett. And then, well, he met KG.

“He was very mean to me my rookie year,” Noah said in an interview with ESPN 1000. And he’s only mean to the young guys and the [European players], for some reason. I don’t know why, but that’s who he doesn’t like. He’s not nice. I talk a lot of trash out there, but c’mon, be a little sensitive. Be sweet.”

Noah says KG is only mean to young guys and Europeans, yet KG’s jawing led Noah to pick up a technical foul when the two team’s last met. Maybe Noah considers himself European because his parents are both from there.

Also, sweet is one thing that has never been used to describe Garnett’s on-court demeanor. But Noah’s comments are still in stark contrast to Shaq’s description of KG in a recent interview with Sports Illustrated. Shaq called KG the funniest player in the NBA. He also called KG “real” and referred to him as a character.

I’ve got a feeling Garnett’s just the type of player you hate until he’s on your team. He does anything he can do on the court to get under an opponent’s skin, but once he’s in your locker room the funny side comes out. Not that Garnett’s rumored humor makes him any more loved by Noah.

“Kevin Garnett will not — will not — get a Christmas gift from me,” Noah said. “I don’t like him.”

“He’s a very mean guy,” Noah continued. “Where’s the love? None at all. Ugly, too.”

I’m not sure, but did Joakim Noah just call somebody ugly? I guess I’ll end this post on that note.

The Morning Walkthrough is a set of links to Boston Celtics articles throughout the internet, designed to get your day started the right way.

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Boston - ”Boston Celtics forward Kevin Garnett didn’t spend long addressing his spat with Detroit Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva on Friday, but sent a terse message amidst the fallout from Villanueva suggesting Garnett called him a ‘cancer patient’ during Tuesday’s game in Detroit. ‘He’s a nobody,’ Garnett said following the Celtics’ 110-105 overtime win against the Chicago Bulls at TD Garden. ‘I’m not paying attention to nobodies anymore.’ … ’I don’t even want to get into that,’ Noah said, when asked about Garnett’s propensity to rile up opponents. Garnett got whistled for a double technical with Villanueva on Tuesday, then got the same infraction after a scuffle with Milwaukee’s Andrew Bogut on Wednesday night. ‘I think … whatever. He is who he is. At the end of the day, it cost me $2,000 today [for the technical foul]. Just getting upset at his dumb [stuff]. I’m not getting involved in it. It’s stupid. I let his dumb a– cost me $2,000, so I’m the dumb a–.’” Read more »

Rose was not enough. (AP photo)

With the Chicago Bulls down three points in the waning seconds of overtime, Joakim Noah decided to pretend he was a point guard, dribbling down the floor in transition. For a second, it looked as if Noah might be successful. He had a lane to the hoop,  with Kevin Garnett trailing behind and the help defense slow to recover.

Then Garnett – 34 years old, playing his 16th year in the NBA, and in the 39th minute of his night – quickly gained ground, extending his long arm and poking the basketball away. After the steal Garnett celebrated as Garnett does, loudly and demonstratively. He pulled his jersey off his chest, exposing his left nipple. A scary look overtook his eyes and he screamed something that I’m pretty sure I could make out through my televison.

 ”That’s all heart.” Read more »