The season is approaching (but not quickly enough), so that means it’s NBA preview time. Starting with the league’s worst team and working our way to the top, we’ll preview one team per day.

Why so serious?

Toronto Raptors

Last year’s record: 40-42
Head Coach:Jay Triano
Projected Starters:Jose Calderon, DeMar DeRozan, Linas Kleiza, Andrea Bargnani, Amir Johnson

Outlook:

Having no clear-cut best player can either be great or miserable. In the Raptors’ case, I promise, it’s a very bad sign. The Raptors will go as far as Linas Kleiza, Leandro Barbosa, DeMar DeRozan and Andrea Bargnani take them. In other words, they’ll be in the lottery with room to spare.

X-Factor:

(*Looks down roster.*  Marcus Banks? Hah. David Anderson? Definitely not. Solomon Alabi? Who? Ahh, Linas Kleiza.)

Kleiza can score, we know that. He became an inside-outside duel threat in Europe, we hear. And though he is nowhere near equipped to be a go-to guy on an NBA team, Kleiza might be the Raptors’ closest thing to it. Sucks to be a Raptors fan, huh?

Biggest Question Mark:

Can DeMar DeRozan take a big step forward? The Raptors don’t just need DeRozan to improve: they need him to become a star overnight. While the Raptors spent the summer stripping down their roster and beginning a rebuilding process, DeRozan spent his impressing. He averaged 20.6 points in only 23.0 minutes per game at the Las Vegas summer league, then lit up LA’s legendary Drew League for 46 loud points. It’s probably too much to expect DeRozan to seize the go-to role, but the Raptors could really use it.

Most important newcomer:

Kleiza. But since I’ve already talked about him, let’s discuss Leandro Barbosa. Barbosa, as weird as it seems considering he wasn’t even a starter in Phoenix, is Toronto’s most accomplished player. He’s also coming off a down year in which his averages fell across the board. Is Barbosa still the Brazilian Blur, or was last season’s decline the start of a trend?

Key loss:

I’ll give you one hint: he’s not Patrick O’Bryant. Another hint: he’s in Miami trying to piggyback his way to a few titles. One last hint: he didn’t exactly make friends on his way out of Toronto.

Most compelling storyline:

I thought that no team could possibly be softer than the Raptors were last season. Then they traded for Leandro Barbosa, signed Amir Johnson and drafted Ed Davis. Now, I’m pretty sure this year’s version is even softer. Just call them Charmin.

Player to watch:

Andrea Bargnani. The Italian posted some pretty impressive stats: 17.2 points and 6.2 rebounds per game last year. But it’s the way he compiles said stats that’s disturbing. Play with some heart, Andrea. Stop somebody from scoring. Box out. Throw your body around. Get tough. Otherwise, your Raptors are really going to suck.

Descriptive movie quote:

“Slowly, a sound started to build in Lard-ass’ stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lard-ass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife’s tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that’s when Lard-ass’ plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women’s Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lard-ass just sat back and enjoyed what he’d created — a complete and total barf-o-rama!” – Gordie, Stand By Me

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010-2011 Toronto Raptors: a complete and total barf-o-rama.

Projected Record: 15-67. I know I said I was going to start at the bottom and work my way up, but somehow my drafted rankings left out the Raptors. I may be the first, but I won’t be the only one who tries to forget about them this season.

Shaq spoke with the Orlando Sentinel about the Miami Heat, Dwight Howard, and NBA lockout and the reason he talks so much crap. (“Marketing,” he explained. “”I know what I’m doing when it comes to selling out games.”)

Here’s what Shaq said about the Heat:

Do you feel like Miami is going to run the Eastern Conference or is all the talk hype?

“Everybody is always excited about youth, but in the last 11 years I don’t see a youthful team winning the championship. But they got a great backcourt in LeBron and D-Wade, probably one of the most talented, historical backcourts ever.”

Shaq’s right about experience winning championships. But let’s not talk about the Heat like they’re all rookies. Lebron James is a two-time defending MVP, Dwyane Wade has a Finals MVP trophy, and Chris Bosh, well, he works hard. Udonis Haslem, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Juwan Howard, Mike Miller and Eddie House are all OG’s. I mean, it’s not like these guys are still walking around with pacifiers in their mouths, wearing diapers.

I’m afraid of the Heat, I’m willing to admit it. But I’ve got faith in my Celtics.

But Durant’s not the only person getting at Bosh. Raptors GM Bryan Colangelo also went at Bosh hard. (Real GM via Toronto’s FAN 590)

“We tried in vain to put pieces around Chris. Different pieces, different styles. It didn’t work out,” Colangelo said of building a roster around his former cornerstone.

“No matter what type of player we brought in, it didn’t seem to have the right mix with him as that centerpiece.”

Sounds a lot like sour apples to me. Yeah, Colangelo tried a lot of different things, but I’d have to note that Jose Calderon isn’t exactly a premier second-banana. It’s not like the “different pieces, different styles” Toronto surrounded Bosh with were studs.

But Colangelo wasn’t done. In his mind, not only was Bosh incapable of being a centerpiece, he was also as soft as Ray Allen’s touch. He should have played those final six games last season, damn it!

“Despite limited swelling and any excessive damage on an MRI, he felt like he needed to sit for six more games … I’m not even questioning Chris’ injury. I’m telling you he was cleared to play subject to tolerance on his part, and the tolerance just apparently wasn’t there and he chose not to play,” Colangelo continued.

“The fact that our season was spiraling downward and we were hoping he’d come back sooner and we were also dealing with a few other things at that point … we were really struggling there.”

Colangelo didn’t stop there.

“Whether he was mentally checked out or just wasn’t quite into it down the stretch, he wasn’t the same guy. I think everybody saw that, but no one wanted to acknowledge it,” he continued.

“At the same time, I never felt we were quite in the game (in terms of signing Bosh to a new contract). There was too much out there, too much built up for him to take an easy out here, and he decided to do that.”

Zing. But it doesn’t matter that people are throwing haymakers at him left and right, because Chris Bosh is the luckiest guy in the world. He hit the free agent market at the perfect time to piggyback his way to a few titles.

The man needs no caption.

Hate Lebron for the way he Decided where he would “take his talents” next season. Hate him for being an egotistical prick. Hate him for being disloyal to Cleveland. Hate him for no-showing against the Celtics in Game 5. Hell, I don’t care, hate him for picking his nails or because you get annoyed by his goddamn puppet.

But should you really hate him for choosing to play with two of the NBA’s top ten players?

Of all the things Lebron is getting backlash for, choosing to play with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh is far and away the most unreasonable. The most pressing argument against it is usually, “Michael Jordan never would have done that!” But the argument isn’t that Lebron has to win on his own. It can’t be, can it? Because Jordan happened to have Pippen. And Bird had McHale and Parish. And Johnson had Kareem, Worthy and a host of other stars. So it isn’t just that people don’t want Lebron to play with another star. It’s that people fault Lebron for playing with another star on that other star’s turf.

But it’s not Lebron’s fault the Cavaliers couldn’t add another star in Cleveland. It isn’t his fault he HAD to leave in order to play with a quality sidekick. He saw what many others saw; the Cavaliers weren’t built for playoff prosperity, and they didn’t have much flexibility. Say what you want about Lebron failing to deliver a championship after the Cavs tore through the regular season, but when you look at his supporting cast you can see it would have been a miracle if Lebron HAD won a ring in Cleveland. They won a ton of regular season games, sure, but when it came down to it they weren’t built to win in the playoffs. Antawn Jamison would have been the worst second-fiddle in history to ever win a title, am I wrong? He was murdered by the half-KG we saw this season. And Mo Williams was always hit-or-miss. Neither were the reliable options Lebron needed to be flanked by if he wanted to win a championship, and Lebron knew that as well as anybody else.

People hate Lebron for his oversized ego, but then think that same ego should have been bigger. By that, I mean that people believe Lebron should have stayed in Cleveland. He should have felt he could win a championship on his own, supporting cast be damned. Even if said cast was flawed. Even if the Cavs had little flexibility for the future and might have already peaked in early defeat. But with the knowledge of all the Cavs’ shortcomings (and there certainly were shortcomings, despite leading the league in regular season wins), should we really blame Lebron for leaving? I don’t think so. Could he have gotten things done in Cleveland? Yeah, it was a possibility. But it wasn’t his best opportunity to win championships. It wasn’t his best chance for immortality.

But Michael Jordan wouldn’t have done that. With superstars, especially those who play on the wing, it always seems to come back to Jordan. And His Airness never would have gone to Miami, common knowledge says, because he was too competitive. He wanted to tear the hearts out of his closest competitors, not win championships with them. Hell, Jordan even said it himself.

“There’s no way, with hindsight, I would’ve ever called up Larry, called up Magic and said, ‘Hey, look, let’s get together and play on one team,’” Jordan said after finishing tied for 22nd in the American Century Championship golf tournament in Stateline, Nev. “But that’s … things are different. I can’t say that’s a bad thing. It’s an opportunity these kids have today. In all honesty, I was trying to beat those guys.”

There’s one aspect of the above quote that hasn’t been talked about much: Jordan qualified it with the phrase “with hindsight.” Obviously, Jordan can say that with hindsight. Six championships in Chicago later, Jordan can obviously look back and say he never would have played with those guys. He did it on his own terms, in Chicago. He didn’t need to go anywhere else, he didn’t need to join forces with another super-duper-star. But what if Pippen had never developed into one of the game’s best players? What if Jordan had hit what he thought was a dead end? Wouldn’t the fiercest competitor ever, a man who wanted to do nothing but win, have wanted to go somewhere else so he could earn a ring? Wouldn’t he have wanted to do that? We don’t know and his quote can’t tell us, because he chose to qualify it by saying “with hindsight.”

But let’s just pretend Jordan never said “with hindsight.” Let’s say he wouldn’t have wanted to go anywhere, no matter what. Let’s say Jordan wanted to win a title in Chicago or die trying. If so, is it really wrong of Lebron to choose another route? Is it wrong that he doesn’t follow the path Jordan laid out? Is it wrong he wants to establish greatness in another fashion?

I’m sorry (actually, no I’m not), but you shouldn’t blame Lebron for taking an alternate route to greatness. You shouldn’t fault him for joining a team that, in time, could stake its claim as one of the greatest ever to grace the hardwood. Because, really, the same reason Lebron chose to travel to Miami is the same reason we were drawn to his game in the first place: He’s unselfish. He gets that basketball is a team game. Even during his time in Cleveland, Lebron always tried to foster his teammates along the way. He passed to open teammates with games on the line. He took pictures with them before games. He celebrated with them after wins and after big plays. What Michael Jordan took several years to realize, that he would need teammates to help him along the way, Lebron instinctively knew.

He just didn’t think his old teammates were good enough. Or he didn’t think he could pass up an opportunity to play for a team that could prove to be one of the best ever assembled. Or maybe there was some other reason we don’t know about. Whatever it was, Lebron chose the place where he felt he would have the best chance at multiple championships. 

And he sucked up his elephant-sized ego to do it. By leaving Cleveland, Lebron admitted he wasn’t good enough to make a dynasty there. He wasn’t good enough to do it by himself. He wasn’t good enough to carry Antawn Jamison and Mo Williams on his back, even though that very back is emblazened with the tattoo, “The Chosen One.” Lebron’s decision was at once the most egotistical thing to happen to the NBA in years and an admission: I can’t do it alone.

So take Lebron’s decision (not the production of it, but the actual choice) whatever way you want. Call him a coward for seeking out help or intelligent for joining the team with the best chance of multiple championships. Or cowardly intelligent, if you wish.  

But just realize what Lebron knows: If this SuperFriends experiment goes to plan, if Lebron James wins as many championships in South Beach as he envisions, he’ll put this all beyond him on his way to immortality. Just ask Kobe: Winning has a curious way of curing public perception.

In the end, isn’t a winning-driven immortal all we ever expected Lebron to be? Or did we somehow expect more of him than even that?

It's all smiles for these three for now.

Ira Winderman, reporter for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, reports that the Heat’s roster is a lot closer to being finalized than we think. Here is Winderman’s list of the 15 players he expects to play for the Miami Heat next season: Read more »

The Three Kings, huh? Just wait a second while I clean up all this vomit from my computer…

Okay, I’m back.

My first thought: What is this, the WWE? I don’t watch wrestling anymore so I only know the old-school guys, but I half-expected the British Bulldog to come sprinting out of the stands with a steel chair.

My second thought: Chris Bosh should have cut the hair a long time ago. He no longer looks like he’s just waiting for his next fix.

My third thought: These guys are — to put it nicely — very, very self-assured.

My fourth thought: Would there be any better way to win a title than beating the Three A-me-goes to win the East, then getting revenge on LA in the Finals? Nope. That’d be an absolute dream.

P.S. – Lebron is the biggest hypocrite ever.