The season is approaching (but not quickly enough), so that means it’s NBA preview time. Starting with the league’s worst team and working our way to the top, we’ll preview one team per day.

Love must hate being stuck in Minnesota. Cold weather and bad basketball. Is there anything worse?

Minnesota Timberwolves

Last year’s record: 15-67
Head Coach: Kurt Rambis
Projected Starters: Jonny Flynn, Martell Webster, Corey Brewer, Michael Beasley, Kevin Love

Outlook:

Quite simply, not good. When the league’s second-worst team unloads its best player for a couple draft picks and a sack of potatoes (aka Kosta Koufos); re-signs the decade’s biggest bust for $20 million; holds its future in the hands of a pothead and a 19-year old Spaniard who may or may not play in the United States anytime soon; then takes out a full-page ad in a local newspaper to apologize; well, that team has been Kahn’d. And, for the foreseeable future at least, it has little hope.

X-Factor:

Michael Beasley. You know how he underacheived in Miami. He went to drug rehab, never found his niche, didn’t adjust well to the NBA game, couldn’t defend a soul — the list of Beasley’s shortcomings the past couple years is longer than Shawn Bradley’s arms. But underneath all the billows of marijuana smoke, there’s potential. We saw it at Kansas St., and we saw glimpses of it in Miami. If Beasley can get his life and game together, he could be a 25 and 10 type; he’s THAT talented. If not? He’ll be the second-biggest draft bust on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Biggest Question Mark:

Will Ricky Rubio ever play a game in a Minnesota Timberwolves jersey? I know that question doesn’t have anything to do with next year’s team. Then again, it’s tough to find a question about next year’s Timberwolves team worth answering. They’re going to be bad, and probably 2009-2010 New Jersey Nets bad. Rubio is a rare Spaniard of hope for a franchise in dire straits.

Most important newcomer:

Beasley, simply because he has — by far — the highest upside. But don’t sleep on Wesley Johnson. The Wolves could regret choosing Johnson ahead of DeMarcus Cousins, but the 6’7″ jumping jack might make an immediate impact on both ends of the court. Emphasis on might.

Biggest loss:

Al Jefferson. What? Did you think I was going to say Nathan Jawai?

Most compelling storyline:

Can it be anything but David Kahn? Kahn spent the summer doing his best Isiah Thomas impersonation, then called Darko Milicic a “manna from heaven.” It’s just a shame manna’s suck at basketball. Anyway, Kahn’s ineptitude is the only reason anyone’s discussed the Timberwolves this summer. Not only is he the most compelling storyline, but he’s pretty damn close to being the only storyline.

Player to watch:

Kevin Love. Mostly by default, but also because Love’s damn good. His averages last season? 14 points and 11 rebounds, in only 28.6 minutes. Can somebody please let Kurt Rambis in on a secret the rest of the NBA world seems to know? Love deserves more playing time.

Descriptive movie quote:

“Look – you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin’ construction, I’ll fuckin’ kill you. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fuckin’ kill you.” – Good Will Hunting

To Love, the only Timberwolf worth writing about. In twenty years, if Love’s still playing in Minnesota, wasting his unique talents on shitty teams surrounded by shitty players, I’ll fucking kill him. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fucking kill him. You know what the best part of my day is? It’s for about ten seconds from when I put on the TV to when I switch the channel to the Timberwolves game. Because I think maybe I’ll flip the station and Love won’t be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin’. Just left. I don’t know much, but I know that.

Projected Record: 17-65. Mediocrity would be a drastic improvement for the Wolves. But mediocrity ain’t happening any time soon.

The latest step for the Minnesota Timberwolves in the David Kahn era? Acknowledging all their problems in a full-page advertisement. No, seriously. Check out this ad the Timberwolves put in the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star Tribune. It’s great.

The time for talk is over

Okay, not quite. Right after this long-winded letter. Because we do have a lot of good things to talk about.

Fourteen months ago we laid out a plan: First, we would become a running team that plays an exciting un-tempo style of basketball. Second, we would get younger in order to build a team that could improve together and compete for a number of years. Third, we would instill a culture of hard work throughout our organization. Fourth, transparency. We’ll always let you know exactly what’s going on, occasionally via long-winded letters.

That was our plan over a year ago and it hasn’t changed on iota. In the off-season we added young, athletic wind players Wesley Johnson, Martell Webster and Lazar Hayward. They join Jonny Flynn, Corey Brewer and Wayne Ellington as guys who can get up and down the floo quickly and shoot the ball from the perimeter. We re-signed Darko Milicic and added Nikola Pekovic, giving us two more up-tempo big men to run with one of the best outlet passers in the game, Kevin Love. We took advantage of our cap room to acquire a potential star in Michael Beasley, who was the number one prospect in his high school class of 2007 and averaged 26 points and 12 rebounds in his one college season. And finally, we added Luke Ridnour, a push-the-pace player who becomes the team’s elder statesman at the age of 29.

We now have more shooting, athleticism and depth at every position, which will make us a better team this season. So will we challenge for the NBA championship this year?

No likely.

Ouch. This honesty thing is a bit painful. But the reality is, we still need that one dominant player.

It’s possible that that player could already be on our roster. We have eight guys who were selected in the top seven picks of their respective drafts, and the average age of those players is 22. So the potential is there for someone to emerge. But in case that doesn’t happen, we’ll continue to manage our salary cap so that we have the flexibility to make that one move that can change a franchise.

We are confident, however, that this team will be exciting to watch. For the first time in years Wolves fans are going to fell like they’re missing out if they aren’t in the arena. So in addition to player development we’re working hard on fan development, starting with variable pricing and Flex Pack ticket packages that let you pick the games and seats that you want. The bottom line for fans is: We’re making it easier than ever for you to be part of our turnaround.

There’s been a lot of talk this off-season. The naysayers certainly have been vocal. And while we can understand a certain amount of skepticism, we know we’ve turned the corner. And we’re anxious to get after that first tipped ball so we can start to prove it.

Enough talk. It’s time to play.

Oh, wait. We forgot to talk about Rubio.

Next time.

Any time your genius advertising campaign includes the words, “Ouch. This honesty thing is a bit painful,” I think it’s safe to say your organization is not where it needs to be.

The Wolves still miss KG. But you can’t blame the Wolves for trading him away – any time you can swap Kevin Garnett for Al Jefferson and a bunch of scrubs, then later ship Jefferson away to make room for Darko Milicic, you HAVE to pull the trigger. Just have to.

While Isiah Thomas spends his days devising the perfect plan to convince Donnie Walsh that signing Kwame Brown for $66 million over six years is the next step to building a winner, I figured now would be as good a time as ever to make a few recommendations for the next person the Knicks should hire. Read more »

David Kahn has done some weird, unexplainable things lately. Like signing Darko Milicic to a $20 million contract. Like drafting point guard… after point guard… after point guard. Like trading away Al Jefferson for cap space and a lump of coal, and then using some of the cap space to sign Luke Ridnour for $16 million. It’s become quite clear that Kahn doesn’t exactly have a plan, or — in the small chance that he does — it’s a very incoherent one, at best.

KAHHHHn!!!

Here are five steps to building a winner, the Kahn way. Because it’s one thing to win, but it’s quite another to win Kahn.

1. Give yourself a handicap – Everyone can build a team if they do it the right way. Just look at Sam Presti. But not everyone can throw $20 million down the drain to one of the biggest busts in NBA history and THEN make a miraculous sprint to the winner’s circle. Not only do you have to win, but you have to do it against all odds.

2. Sign (or trade for) a pot head – One of the biggest steps to winning Kahn. It’s not enough to win basketball games, you have to win despite as many disadvantages as possible. Who wants to win if you’re going to be sober every night you take the court? Not me. There’s no fun in that. Cue Michael Beasley. Rehab before the age of 21? Check. Taking pictures with bags that look very much like weed? Check. Classic underacheiver? Check. Kahn’s gotta level the playing field somehow, and players who love drugs are a good way to do that.

3. Shop your best player around so hard he loses all trade value – It’s not enough to ship your best player somewhere else. You also have to trade him away after weeks of desperately looking to send him off, so that other teams know how desperate you are and won’t give you equal value. You have to seem so desperate that the only player you get in return for your best player is, get this, Kosta Koufos. Remember, winning isn’t enough. You also have to overcome as many obstacles as possible.

4. Sign, draft or trade for your point guard of the future, and then sign four or five more – Listen, if you’re going to win Kahn, things can’t be easy. It’s not enough to draft a Spanish stud in the first round, then convince him to come to the United States and watch him win games. No, you have to draft him and then alienate him by drafting a dozen other point guards. And then you have to sign another one to a free agent contract. And then you have to wait a year, then sign yet another point guard, but this one has to be worse than all your current point guards. Allowing a Spanish stud to win you games is too easy. But wooing him after years of alienating him? Now THAT is winning Kahn.

5. Don’t restrict yourself with a plan – Any old R.C. Buford, Pat Riley or Sam Presti can succeed by having a plan and sticking to it. It takes a real GM to make head-scratching move after mind-boggling move and still come away with a winner. So don’t hold yourself back by trying to put together a Super Team, or clearing cap space to rebuild, or trying to sign veteran free agents to as small a contract as possible. That’s not the point of winning Kahn. You’ve got to set yourself up to fail, and then rise from the ashes. You’ve got to scrape the ground on your way to the top. You’ve got to pretend like you’ve got no idea what you’re doing, when in reality you’re always a step ahead.

Winning Kahn ain’t easy, folks. But it sure beats winning the old-fashioned way.

Jefferson was traded away for an apple, an orange and some cap space.

In separate deals today, David Kahn traded Al Jefferson away for pretty much nothing and then offered Luke Ridnour a contract for four years, $16 million. (Yahoo!) Read more »