Rajon Rondo will reportedly compete in The South Florida All-Star Classic, a charity game at Florida International University on Oct. 8 at 7:00 p.m. hosted by Lebron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. The F.I.U. basketball team is coached by none other than the greatest NBA executive of all-time, Isiah Thomas.

A number of NBA players are slated to join the Miami trio on the court, including fellow Heat teammate Mario Chalmers, the Oklahoma City Thunder’s Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook, the New York Knicks’ Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire, the New Orleans Hornets’ Chris Paul, the Washington Wizards’ John Wall, the Atlanta Hawks’ Jamal Crawford, the Houston Rockets’ Jonny Flynn, the Los Angeles Clippers’ Eric Bledsoe, the Dallas Mavericks’ Caron Butler, the Memphis Grizzlies’ Rudy Gay, the Boston Celtics’ Rajon Rondo, the Philadelphia 76ers’ Lou Williams, the Golden State Warriors’ Dorell Wright, and the Portland Trail Blazers’ Wesley Matthews and free agent Eddy Curry.

Cleveland Cavaliers first-round picks Kyrie Irving and Tristan Thompson also are possible participants in the game.

The squads will be headlined by Brand Jordan players (Wade, Anthony, Paul) vs. Nike (James, Bosh, Durant). Comedian Kevin Hart, who has appeared in Brand Jordan commercials with Wade, is expected to coach the Jordan team, while Miami-based rap star Rick Ross is expected to coach the Nike club.

If those players all compete like the game means something, this game has the chance to become legendary. Alas, players treat charity games like they are And1 Streetball games, so the game will probably be as watchable as Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.

And please, don’t let Isiah Thomas meet Eddy Curry again. Looking at an overweight, excessively lazy center, Thomas may be struck by the desire to offer another $60 million contract. And that, my friends, would be against NCAA rules. Unless the recipient of the contract is Cam Newton.

There are more than a million reasons for the NBA lockout to end, not least of which is the following question: do you really want the NBA D-League to be the most competitive basketball in America?

But the 1,287,493rd reason to end the lockout came yesterday within a Chris Sheridan column.

Sheridan discussed who might play for the United States during the 2012 London Olympics. After reading the first ten players who Sheridan considers mortal locks to make the roster, I suddenly realized, “Holy box of crackerjacks. Sheridan hasn’t included Derrick Rose, the defending NBA MVP.” Then I looked at the ten locks (Dwight Howard, Kevin Durant, Chris Bosh, Blake Griffin, Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul, Deron Williams and Carmelo Anthony), thought about the situation rationally, realized that Bosh and Griffin were around for size, and thought, “Jumping bag of Kit-Kats, maybe Rose doesn’t deserve to be a mortal lock.”

In the remainder of the column Sheridan advised that after his ten mortal locks, the USA should select at least one center to keep pace with Spain, which added Serge Ibaka to an already potent frontcourt. That would leave Rose to compete for the 12th roster spot, about which Sheridan writes, “If you want a third point guard, 2010 Team USA members Russell Westbrook and Derrick Rose are your guys (in fact, it’ll be interesting to see whether either of them can beat out Paul and/or Williams at training camp next summer in Las Vegas).”

I’m not here to call Sheridan correct in his belief that Rose should be firmly on the roster bubble, nor to confirm his suspicion that Rose is a candidate for third point guard. I’m not here to call Sheridan wrong, either. All I’m saying is that if you can have a legitimate conversation about the United States Olympic roster and advocate leaving the defending NBA MVP off the roster entirely, NBA talent is off the charts.

End the lockout. Sooner rather than later.

Please.

Isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? The Cleveland Cavaliers, and Lebron James, used to have a policy — no excuses.

“We’re a no excuses team,” echoed both Lebron James and Mike Brown, after a late (and pretty obviously intentional) Bruce Bowen foul went uncalled in the 2007 NBA Finals. Which brings me to the irony. Since then, there has always been an excuse waiting to escort James away from failure. His latest excuse invokes the Boston Celtics, but, first, a history of LeExcuses.

Brown’s offensive sets were never good enough. Neither was Lebron’s supporting cast. Lebron’s elbow hurt so bad. A teammate had sexual relations with Lebron’s mother. Lebron didn’t actually know what contraction meant. The karma tweet didn’t even consist of his own thoughts. And did I tell you about that Cleveland supporting cast? You try winning with those bums.

There aren’t many more excuses to go around. James has a coach who he, all shoulder bumps aside, finally respects. Don’t want to take my word for it? Listen to Bill Reiter, who has covered Miami for Fox Sports all season long. Hell, listen to Lebron himself: “Me and Spo are still learning each other,” LeBron said after playing OKC. “It’s not like me and Spo have been (together a long time). We’re still learning each other. I’m going to continue to trust Spo. He’s our coach and he’s going to continue to trust me.” And Reiter’s take on Lebron’s quote: “The key here isn’t that LeBron said these words – it’s that he appeared to mean them.”

The supporting cast, too, leaves little to be desired. I mean, sure, I bet Lebron wishes he could see a little less of Mario Chalmers, Joel Anthony and Carlos Arroyo. But when Lebron James teams with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, the supporting cast can’t be blamed. It can’t. The Heat have three of the top ten (or, in Bosh’s case, perhaps 15) players in the NBA, and a few pieces (read: Mike Miller, James Jones, and maybe Zydrunas Ilgauskas) who aren’t at all half bad. And Udonis Haslem should return later this season to add another impressive role player. Nobody would argue Miami’s the NBA’s deepest team, but the talent is there.

As for knick-knack injuries? Nobody’s going to fall for the elbow trick twice. Same goes for the whole “mother” thing. I’m not even trying to say the accusations were false. Nor am I trying to say they were true. I’m just saying nobody’s going to fall for it twice, true or not.

Some of the excuses weren’t even made by Lebron himself. Lebron stood in Brown’s corner, even when the media blamed him for Cleveland’s troubles. Lebron never, to my knowledge, verbally disparaged his supporting cast in Cleveland (although leaving for Miami was a sure sign of where Lebron stood on the issue). We — the media, and the fans — enabled Lebron to avoid accountability, to play six years in Cleveland while hardly ever taking fault for a loss, and we hardly ever mentioned, “Shit, maybe it’s Lebron’s fault this isn’t working.” In the seventh year, after Lebron’s epic disappearance against Boston in Game 5, we’d finally had enough. That loss was Lebron’s fault, no matter how that damn elbow felt, no matter how many times Delonte West had pleased Lebron’s mother.

As scarce as excuses seem to be nowadays, Lebron isn’t done with them. He doesn’t have many left, so he created a new one. The Heat can’t possibly have Boston’s chemistry, said Lebron yesterday, because they haven’t had enough time together. (ESPN)

“We’re way behind those guys,” LeBron James said following the Heat’s practice on Wednesday. “Just look at the number of games played, the number of playoff series those guys have had. We’re only a few months in together — 40-something-plus games. I’ve seen the statistics. Boston has like 250-plus games played together. We’re way behind those teams.”

When taken alone, the quote isn’t that harmful. Actually, it makes all kinds of sense. Miami IS only 40-something games into its new experiment. Boston DOES have great chemistry, which IS aided by the amount of games the C’s have played together.

But being an obsessive follower of Boston’s Big Three, I can tell you they never made excuses about chemistry. They saw the Detroit Pistons and never thought, “Damn, those guys have more chemistry than we do. We’re way behind that team.” They thought, “We’ll do whatever it takes to get our chemistry to that level. Then, we’ll kick their asses.” The Big Three Celtics never once complained about chemistry, or how quickly they had to develop it. Never once. They were all working toward a common goal, they were all infected by Ubuntu, and chemistry developed quickly and naturally. And, though the bond was natural and unforced, the Celtics worked all season long to strengthen it. No excuses, no complaints.

The Celtics made it work. Ray Allen sacrificed so much of his individual game. Paul Pierce stopped being a ball stopper, and started facilitating movement. He took fewer shots, but he took better ones. And Kevin Garnett? He was always unselfish, but he took his charitable attitude to another level. Chemistry isn’t just about liking your teammates on and off the court. It’s about making sacrifices to maximize the talent that steps on the floor each night.

Which brings us back to the Heat. They could very well win an NBA championship this season. They have two of the NBA’s top five players, and another in the top fifteen. They’re a very good, potentially great team. But Lebron’s right: they don’t have terrific on-court chemistry yet, and, maybe more importantly, they don’t seem like they’re willing to make all the necessary sacrifices. Lebron still wants to launch the occasional ill-advised fallaway jumper, and both Wade and Lebron fall into one-on-one play too often. Isolations can work, because the two players are such talents. But solo tangents of individual greatness fail to maximize Miami’s production.

So Lebron, you’re right. Your team lags behind Boston in terms of chemistry. But that doesn’t count as an excuse. It’s on you and your teammates to get it right by season’s end. If not, the failure’s on your team, and nobody or nothing else. Accountability started the day you took your talents to South Beach, Lebron, and it should have started far sooner.

Dwyane Wade does not believe the Heat need to play together like the Boston Celtics do. Or something like that.

“We’ve proven sometimes it can be a lot of him and a lot of me,” Wade said of the Heat’s unique either-or, one-two perimeter punch with himself and James. “That’s the good problem that we have around here. That’s the reason we’re all playing together. It’s about figuring out which one.

“We’re not the Boston Celtics. We’re not these kinds of teams that need to play together. We have guys that have the individual talent, and sometimes the individual talent, one-on-one ability is going to take over. Boston has more of guys that have great individual talent, but they feed off each other. We’re a new team and we’re still figuring it out.”

Normally, I’d take the high road and say, “See? This mentality is why the Heat won’t get past the Boston Celtics in the East. This is why Lebron James still hasn’t won a title in his career. This is why Dwyane Wade needed Shaq — and a watered-down NBA — to win his one ring.”

But I don’t care if the Heat don’t play together perfectly. I don’t care if they sometimes resemble a team of mismatched parts. I don’t care if they don’t have a single NBA-caliber point guard or center. This team scares the hell out of me, and in a seven-game series I can’t say the Celtics have an edge. It was hard enough to take down Lebron or Wade on their own. Now they’re a tag team that comes at you from both ends of the court.

When Udonis Haslem returns and if Mike Miller finds his groove, these Heat will become even more dangerous. And you know what’s even more fearful? This — a year when the Heat still lead the NBA in point differential even while struggling through injuries and an identity crisis — is actually the year to beat them. Because with every year that passes, the Heat will become better at playing together. And every year from now on, they’ll add a draft pick and a mid-level exception player to bolster their depth and make the talent around James and Wade deep and scary. Hell, they might even add Nene before the trading deadline, a move that would bring me (and most of the NBA) to tears.

That said, I hope the Heat continue to think “we’re not these kinds of teams that need to play together.” Because, as much talent as the Heat have, it still takes a full unit to dispatch the Boston Celtics. They’re pretty good.

(H/T @MrTrpleDouble10)

The Celtics play the Cavaliers tonight, one game before Lebron James visits his old basketball home for the first time. All of which means you’ll be hearing far too much about James in the next few days.

The Cleveland media repeatedly asked the Cavs if they were overlooking Boston, only the Eastern Conference’s best team. Shaq has already been asked about Lebron’s return, and he said two things: first, he doesn’t worry about the game. He just wants to know if Lebron will throw the powder in the air beforehand. And second, if Shaq’s return to Orlando was a six on the vengeance scale of one to ten, Lebron’s return to Cleveland is a twelve.

I’m sorry you have to hear about James all the time. I really am. But I’m also going to discuss him here, in this space. In other words, I will now contribute to the problem I just apologized for. This is where I apologize for the second time in the same paragraph.

My beef is with Adrian Wojnarowski’s latest piece on Lebron. I get that Woj finds Lebron to be everything wrong with sports. I understand that. In a way, I agree with it. But there comes a time when we need to stop blaming everything on Lebron. There comes a time when the other people in the Heat organization should take a little flak, too. Not everything is Lebron’s fault. Not everything that goes wrong should be blamed on the two-time defending MVP.

Look, I love Woj’s work more than life itself. I’m currently re-reading “The Miracle of St. Anthony” for the 1,113th time (estimate only), and I consider it one of the greatest pieces of sports journalism ever penned. But Woj has a tendency to pin all of Miami’s problems on Number Six, and sometimes it just isn’t fair.

Woj’s latest column on the Heat mentioned a quote from Dwyane Wade that threw Erik Spoelstra under the bus, while not directly throwing Spoelstra under the bus. “I’m not going to say he’s ‘my guy,’ but he’s my coach,” Wade said. Wade, keep in mind, is a former NBA Finals MVP, one of the five best players in basketball, and owner of a personality strong enough to be his own man. Yet Woj felt free to blame James for Wade’s apparent sour attitude toward Spoelstra.

As much as ever, the Heat need Wade to influence James. Only now, it’s clear James is influencing Wade. With Udonis Haslem out for the regular season, the locker room misses one of its vital voices. Now, Wade is struggling on the floor and James is the devil on his shoulder, whispering that he doesn’t need to be accountable, that there’s an easy fall guy for everyone: Spoelstra.

Sure, Wade is the one who wouldn’t back his coach, but it’s Lebron’s fault. This was always going to be Lebron’s fault, if anything failed, no matter what it was. Lebron is the two-time MVP, and he’s the one who risked his legacy by teaming with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. If the Heat fail, regardless of how well Lebron plays, that failure will always rest on his shoulders. And so it was that Woj, in a piece preaching how James should be more accountable, offers Wade a way to escape accountability altogether: just blame Lebron.

One gets the feeling Woj would also blame Lebron for the BP oil spill, World War II, and Angelina from the Jersey Shore, if he could.

I’m not saying Lebron has zero fault in this whole mess. It’s very possible he leaked the ESPN story about Miami players doubting Spoelstra, as Woj claims. It’s very possible he returned his cold french fries to a renowned chef — wait, what? It’s very possible he doesn’t respond well to the word “no.”

All signs say Lebron James a spoiled, narcissistic baby who has rarely, if ever, been held accountable for his own mistakes.. But in trying to hold him accountable for his own misdeeds, let’s not also blame him for the mistakes of others. There are a lot of things to blame on Lebron James. Dwyane Wade’s opinion of Erik Spoelstra is one thing that just isn’t Lebron’s fault.

And Spoelstra? It’s nice that he is standing up to Lebron, like Mike Brown never did. It’s nice he’s telling Lebron “no” sometimes. But if Spoelstra expects to keep his job, and to keep from losing his own locker room, he should figure out a way to make his talented team work. That, not just repeatedly saying “no”, is what coaches are supposed to do.

After the Miami Heat’s loss to the Dallas Mavericks yesterday, the Heat staged a players-only meeting. Lebron James said he and his teammates aired their thoughts about the team’s 9-8 start. Chris Bosh told Yahoo!, “We were just looking at each other and being honest.”

They were honest? Well, the truth hurts. The following account of last night’s meeting may or may not be fabricated.

*****

Bosh: “First, guys, I just want to apologize. I know I’m not who you thought I was. I’m a little bit of a fraud.”

Joel Anthony: “I want to apologize, too. I’m not a fraud, but I am a thief. The pay me $18 million and I can barely make a layup. Also, I’m a 6’9 center who averages 3.1 rebounds per game and has no chance defending a halfway-decent big man.”

Dwyane Wade: “Fall down seven times, stand up eight. And after you stand up that eighth time, make sure you surround yourself with superstars who make you play worse.”

Bosh: “Are you calling me a superstar?”

Wade: “Ah, right. I meant ‘surround yourself with a superstar’ — singular — ‘who makes you play worse.”

Bosh: “Alright, that’s more like it.”

Lebron: “What should I do, Dwyane? Should I shoulder-bump Erik Spoelstra? Should I call Mo Williams and tell him I’m sorry? Should I be who you want me to be?”

Carlos Arroyo: “What are you guys all upset about? This season’s going perfectly. I’m shooting 61.9 [bleeping] percent from three-point range!”

Udonis Haslem: “Oh, Carlos.You clowns are a whole bunch of studio gangsters.”

Eddie House (giving himself the middle finger): “I told everyone before the season, middle finger to all the haters. And I’m a hater — I HATE playing with you bums.”

Erick Dampier: “Never fear, Erick Dampier is here! I am your savior!”

Lebron: “Ericka, we’re only speaking the truth in this meeting.”

Dampier: “Oh. Well, in that case, at least I’m better than Joel Anthony.”

Anthony: “Touche.”

Lebron: “What should we do? Should we fire Spoelstra? Should we beg Riley to return to the bench? Should we just clear the deck and start over? What should we do?”

Haslem: “I vote fire Spoelstra.”

Wade: “Yeah, me too.”

Team (in chorus, except Zydrunas Ilgauskas, who remains quiet): “Fi-re Spoel-stra! Fi-re Spoel-stra! Fi-re Spoel-stra!”

Lebron: “Big Z, what’s wrong? Do you actually want Spoelstra to stay?”

Ilgauskas: “God no! Who would want that? I’m just worried by a comparison I’ve heard a lot recently. I don’t look like Voldemort from Harry Potter, do I?”

[Team remains quiet]

Ilgauskas: “Guys?”

[Silence remains]

Ilgauskas: “GUYS?”

Wade: “So, umm, we’ve decided to fire Spoelstra. We’re making progress. The next step: learning how to play together.”

Lebron: “I don’t want to play with you anymore. Playing with you is like playing getting the kiss of death from a dementor. It just sucks the life right out of me. I miss Anderson Varejao and Anthony Parker, and Mo Williams. And I don’t want to be a point guard. And I don’t want to be a power forward. And I don’t want to play 44 minutes against the Boston Celtics. I just want to laugh and have fun. Is that too much to ask for?”

Bosh: “Yeah, this isn’t what I bargained for either. [Bosh pauses, thinking about what the season was supposed to bring.] Maybe I should have stayed in Toronto.”

Wade: “Yeah, that would have been better. Then we could have picked up Carlos Boozer, or kept Michael Beasley, or actually signed a point guard who’s worth a damn.”

Arroyo: “But I’m shooting 61.9% from threes!”

Wade: “File one under ‘fluke’.”

Mario Chalmers: “I’m not half bad, Dwyane.”

Wade: “No offense, Mario, but this is for players only.”

Lebron: “What should we do? Should we remind you we’ve never done this before? Should we pretend we still have confidence in each other? Should we tell you we don’t deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the 1996 Bulls? Hi, Mike. [Lebron winks, eats a Ballpark Frank.] What should we do?”

Wade: “We should hope Pat Riley has answers.”

Udonis Haslem: “No, guys. I’ve got a better idea. Voldemo– I mean, Zydrunas: We need the elder wand.”

After tonight, Wade's got two rules. 1) Don't call him Flash. And 2) Don't ever, ever bring up tonight's game.

Erik Spoelstra’s voice was pleading, his tone desperate, and his team in a big hole. He stood in the locker room addressing his team, after witnessing the 61-46 first-half shellacking. The Celtics had outclassed the Heat in every facet of the game, and Spoelstra was forced to resort to begging. He begged his players to trust their teammates. He begged them to let go of their egos. He told them they would need each other in the second half. Begging, begging, begging, trying somehow, anyhow, to urge his team to a comeback.

The speech worked, kind of. Miami showed some fight after halftime, making Boston’s win a much closer 112-107. The Heat played better and they worked harder. They even gave Boston a (brief and small) scare. But they still didn’t play as a team. They relied on one man, Lebron James, to lead the comeback.

As it has all too often this season, the Heat’s offense resorted to one-on-one play. If there was some sort of synergy between the Three Amigos, I didn’t see it. Tonight was Lebron’s turn, the next game it might be Dwyane Wade’s. The next might even be Chris Bosh’s (Ha!). But the Miami Heat have yet to figure out how to capitalize on all the talent that relocated to South Beach this summer. They have yet to learn how to play as a team.

They need only study tapes of the Boston Celtics. When the Heat called isolation plays and pick-and-rolls, the Celtics swung five touch passes within seconds. When the Heat devolved into a one-man show, the Celtics continued to find the open man. In Boston, in Miami, it doesn’t matter – The Celtics are a team; the Heat just a bunch of individuals. There is plenty of time for the Heat to find chemistry, to gel. But the Celtics already have, for the past three years and some change. And when the Celtics’ five men play as one, and when they limit turnovers, and when they shoot like the ball has magnets for the rim, they are likely to put on a clinic.

The Celtics received contributions from everybody. Ray Allen was like the fire-bullet throwing character from Mario 3. At one point, after yet another three dropped through the nets, he simply smirked at Reggie Miller, as if to say, “Yeah, I’m going to pass your all-time three-point record sometime soon. What’s up?” Paul Pierce took advantage of his opportunities, scoring an efficient and silky smooth 25 points. Rajon Rondo continued to pile up assists like he is playing NBA 2k11. Glen Davis didn’t score well, but attacked the glass to make up for it. And that spin move he had around Haslem? Oh, so pretty. And that tip-in on the fast break? Lucky or not, that was unbelievable. I’m telling you, these guys were beautiful to watch.

Also? We no longer have to qualify Kevin Garnett’s performances with “he looked like his old self.” He IS his old self, or at least something damn close to it. His hands are everywhere. He attacks the glass. He makes a difference on both ends. Every night.

Even Nate Robinson got in on the act. Sure, I wanted to kill him after he entered the game then immediately fouled a jump-shooter and picked up a technical (even if the technical wasn’t earned). But after that? Robinson was great. Game-changing, even. He dished a couple sweet passes. Called upon the tear drop to end a Heat run and keep them at bay. Finished an explosive dervish to the hoop over Joel Anthony. He’s not out of my doghouse just yet, but he started working on it.

And Marquis Daniels? Your stats (2 points, 2 rebounds) say you did almost nothing. But that’s why I watch these games. To see your admirable job on Lebron. The way you cut him off on the baseline and took a charge. The way you denied him an inbounds pass in the full court and forced a time out. You were great, Marquis, and don’t let the box score tell you otherwise.

I could probably go on talking about individual performances all day, but that wasn’t what this win was about. It was about team. It was about five guys helping each other out, getting each other’s backs, making each other better. The Celtics are already a team, the Heat aren’t one yet, and that was the difference in this game.

No matter how great Lebron was, and he was special tonight, he couldn’t mask his team’s deficiencies. The Heat still have miles to travel to attain the level of chemistry the Celtics have now spent 319 games developing.

At one point in the game, the TNT camera focused on Pat Riley taking notes. I only hope he was taking notes on the Celtics. His Heat could certainly use those.

We all understand the type of physical pressure the Miami Heat’s Three Amigos are under.

Bookended in a starting lineup by Carlos Arroyo and Joel Anthony, the Three Amigos basically need to win three-on-five every time they step onto the court. Seriously. With apologies to Arroyo and Anthony (actually, I will not apologize), that’s the truth. Not only do the Heat’s two weakest links provide almost nothing offensively, but they’ve also both spent the first few weeks of the season like an Olympic city — getting torched all day.

So yes, the Three Amigos are under some immense physical pressure. But the emotional pressure is even greater. Never before has a team joined together with such hype. Never before have expectations been so high before a team even played a single game. If the Miami Heat don’t win a championship, they’re a failure. Really, even a championship won’t meet our expectations. We expect them to be nearly perfect.

So far, they haven’t been. Not even close. The Heat let Paul Millsap look like a mix between Superman and Reggie Miller, coughing up a 22-point lead in the process. They let Emeka Okafor look like he was back at UConn playing against Joe Schmo from Rutgers University, and fell to the Hornets while Okafor was in Huskies mode. They have allowed elite point guards to tally obscene assist totals, and they don’t seem to have any semblance of an end-of game plan. One night, Lebron James takes every crunch-time shot while Dwyane Wade watches with disinterest. The next, it’s Wade’s turn to dominate the ball while Lebron chills. There’s nothing about the Heat that screams, “Team!”, nothing about them that shows any synergy, any feeling that, “Hey, these guys make each other better as a team than they are on their own.”

It’s early still and most of the problems are curable, but the scrutiny is terrible. Listen to how Rich Levine described it.

 Sure, the Heat have played better since Opening Night, but still, they’re about as emotionally stable as a PMS-ing supermodel. For every step forward, at least in the eyes of the national media, they take seven steps back, and it’s got to be wearing on them. Erik Spoelstra can’t open the Internet without reading about the eventual Pat Riley takeover. Chris Bosh can’t check his Twitter feed without nearly 290K followers telling him he’s a fraud. LeBron James can’t gaze into the mirror and ask, “What should I do?” without the mirror yelling back, “How about taking over in crunch time of a big game, fool!?!”

We tend to think of superstars as something beyond human. But these guys have feelings too. And while I think Wade and Lebron are beyond the point where public perception can change their games, I think all the scrutiny has really affected Bosh. Really, how could it not? He had spent the rest of his career in Toronto, toiling in a minor market for shitty teams, receiving attention only when people discussed, “What about that Bosh guy, up in Canada? He’s actually pretty good, huh?”  

Now, he’s everyone’s goat. (And I definitely don’t mean G.O.A.T.) Jason Whitlock has already called for Bosh to be traded. Seven games into the season! And that was BEFORE Millsap’s superhuman 46-point explosion. Bosh has become the butt of everyone’s jokes, the reason some people now refer to the Heat’s “Big Three” as “Two and a Half Men.” At almost any point in the day,  my Twitter feed shows someone abusing Bosh’s game.

Bosh has already shown us that he’s not emotionally stable (in a basketball sense). He had a meeting with Lebron James to discuss how he feels hesitant. He told reporters, “We have a system but at the same time when the games happening so fast, sometimes I get lost. I don’t know whether to cut, whether to go, whether to get back. Playing with those talented two guys, it gets real fast.”

When the game’s happening so fast, sometimes I get lost? That sure as hell doesn’t sound like a superstar to me. It sounds more like someone struggling to get on the same page as his two vastly superior teammates.

Bosh is one hell of a talent. I won’t argue that. He’s long, skilled, athletic and has in the past proven himself capable of making plays against any defender. But one has to wonder if he’s built to withstand such enormous pressure.

(Note: I wrote about the Bosh issue and more Heat problems in a piece for SLAM Online. Check it.)

First, what in the world was Kevin Love thinking? He couldn’t have been serious with that shot attempt, right?

Second, Dwyane Wade took his opportunity to welcome Wesley Johnson to the NBA. “You might have been the most athletic player at Syracuse, son. But you aren’t playing against the Butler Bulldogs anymore.”

Third, neither of the two reasons above are the main reason I posted this clip. It was only blog-worthy because my main man Sebastian Telfair thought he could take a charge.

Almost, Bassy. Almost.

I didn’t know what to expect entering last night’s game.

I’d never seen the Miami Heat play a regular season game before (“no kidding, Jay”), so I didn’t know if they could possibly live up to the hype. I didn’t know whether the Three Amigos could mesh, and I wasn’t sure whether their bench was talented enough to make a difference. I didn’t know whether Lebron or Wade would be the leading man, and I didn’t know whether the second fiddle would take offense to being the second fiddle.

That was part of what made last night’s game so exciting. Nobody knows how good the Heat will be. People predicted 70 wins or 65 wins or however many wins, but nobody really knows. They have talent, obviously, but until that talent proves itself on the court anything remains possible. A lot of fans and analysts have already anointed the Heat Eastern Conference champions, but the element of unknown remains.

That’s why some tickets for last night’s game sold for $3,000. That’s why 500 media members were credentialed (more than a normal Finals game). That’s why I got texts this morning from friends I haven’t spoken to in months. The Celtics-Heat matchup was phenomenal in and of itself, but the Heat aren’t just a basketball team — they’re a mystery and a soap opera and a main attraction, all rolled into one. They’re something to fear, something to amaze, something to mesmerize you with wondrous possibilities.

And you know what else they are? 0-1.

After a raggedy performance that was almost saved by Lebron James’s heroics, the Heat were downed by a game Celtics team, 88-80. We still don’t know how good the Heat will be, and after last night’s uneven performance they still represent an unknown. But the Celtics? That old and familiar product, that overlooked afterthought of a former NBA champion? Their ways are known. Their ways are respected. And on a night that was supposed to usher in a new era of NBA basketball, a new superteam, the Boston Celtics stood in the way of an Eastern Conference torch-passing just by being themselves.

We can’t learn everything from last night’s game. It was only one game, only our first opportunity to see a Heat team that clearly hasn’t gelled, only our first chance to see a Celtics team trying to beat back age and keep the window of opportunity ajar. But we can take some things from the game, even if it was just a sloppy season opener played by two teams not yet fully formed.

Not a charge. Definitely not a charge.

1. Rajon Rondo should have made Team USA

In a game that featured Lebron James carrying Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh on his back, Rondo was nonetheless the game’s best player. Somehow, he outscored Lebron while scoring only four points. And by “somehow,” I mean Rondo had 17 assists and completely controlled everything about the game. He set the pace. He determined who scored. He broke down Miami’s defense and got paint touches at will. Rondo dominated with such ease that I almost thought Carlos Arroyo was the Heat’s starting point guard. Then I shook my head and told myself, “This is 2010! There’s no way Carlos Arroyo’s a starting point guard in the NBA!” (Wait, he is? On a team that’s considered Eastern Conference favorites? Oh.)

If Rondo’s as competitive as I think he is, he’ll use Coach K as fuel all season. And if you’re a smart person, you’ll hop on a gambling site and bet that Rajon Rondo will lead the league in assists. At 12-1 odds, that might be the year’s best bet.

2. The Heat are an unfinished product (Captain Obvious strikes again)

I watched the game at my girlfriend’s kitchen table, in a wooden chair, 20 feet away from a small television. The viewing was far from optimal, but there was a reason. She just moved into her apartment a couple days ago and none of her furniture is ready yet. I can tell the apartment’s going to be really nice once everything gets in place — once the couch gets moved in, once I put together the IKEA furniture, once all her clothes are packed away, once she buys some comfortable chairs — but for tonight, my back ached from the miserable chair and my eyes hurt from straining to see the minuscule players.

Her apartment’s a lot like the Heat. They have all the potential in the world. But for now, they are just a painful work in progress. They still have a lot of furniture to put together, ya dig? Most of the time, they looked like the Cleveland Cavaliers-South. I kept waiting for Steve Kerr to blame Mike Brown for the team’s stagnant offense.

Winning is a process. The Heat will be able to overwhelm most teams simply by their superior talent, but they’ll have to learn how to beat the best.

3. But…

They’re still scary as hell. When Bosh was having his pregame interview, it hit me for the first time: James, Wade and Bosh are all playing together. Like, on the same team! Do you know how dangerous a concoction that could potentially become? Even tonight, when Wade and Bosh were both as bad as they could have been, Lebron kept them in the game. When all three get rolling at the same time, watch out. There’s no better show in ball.

4. But…

Is it just me, or do Wade and Lebron fail to complement each other perfectly? Look at Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. Pierce is a slasher, a scorer. He goes to the hoop, draws fouls and is often at his best with the ball in his hands. Allen’s a lot different than Pierce, and that’s what makes him so complementary. While Pierce looks to find the hoop, Allen dashes around screens to find a sliver of space. While Pierce draws fouls, Allen spots up in transition. There’s something beautiful about the way Pierce and Allen play off each other. Opposites attract, you know?

And maybe Wade and Lebron will develop that chemistry. But maybe they’re too similar to complement each other so well. They both operate best when the ball’s in their hands, and unfortunately there’s only one ball.

5. Shaq fits

I’ve been saying this all preseason, but Shaq plays a nice role on the Celtics. He rolls to the hoop a lot better than Perk, and he’s a better target. Perk catches the ball near the hoop and always brings it down (and then ties his shoe, eats a box of popcorn and watches a feature movie) before finally taking a layup, but Shaq immediately goes up strong and invites contact.

Shaq won’t be a lockdown defender like Perk was, and his team defense especially can’t compare to Perk’s. But we knew all those deficiencies coming into the season. That’s old news. The new news is that Shaq can be a scoring role player. And he even runs the floor once in a while, too.

6. I adore the Celtics’ bench

I drooled over the Celtics’ bench all preseason, and nothing changed after one night of meaningful games. Glen Davis is poised for a big season, Jermaine O’Neal will shake off the rust at some point (right?), Nate Robinson will hit some of the shots he missed (and continue to be aggressive and make plays), and I’m still trying to find out how the Space Jam Monstars stole all Marquis Daniels’s talent last year. Whatever they did to Daniels, he’s back to making a difference every time he steps on the court. And oh yeah, Delonte West will be back after nine more games.

7. The Heat’s bench sucks

My friend suggested that the Heat bench players be called The AARP Bunch, but that might be too kind. They could barely move. They have no playmakers. James Jones and Eddie House probably won’t step foot in the paint once all season, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas could have retired years ago. Udonis Haslem is as solid as players come, but the next time he creates offense for himself will be the first. The Heat boast a couple decent players on the bench, but not a single player who can put the ball on the floor and make something happen.

8. But…

The previous paragraph doesn’t matter as much as it should. Why? Because, at all times, Erik Spoelstra can keep either James or Wade on the floor with the second unit. Oh, we don’t have a playmaker off the bench? Here’s Lebron James. How’s that for a playmaker? Oh, Lebron’s on the bench? Well here’s Dwyane Wade. Have fun with him. Having both James and Wade means that they’ll always have one of them on the floor. That’s almost as dangerous a thought as both of them starting together.

9. That was a brutal opening matchup for the Heat

I’m not saying they played brutally (although, for the most part, they did). I’m saying that starting the season against the Boston Celtics was — in the words of Jared Jeffries — throwing the Heat into a lion’s den. The Heat had never played a game together; the Celtics are as cohesive a unit as the NBA holds. The Heat have Carlos Arroyo as their starting point guard; the Celtics have Rajon Rondo. The Heat have a Big Three; but the Celtics have their own Big Three. For the Heat, playing in the rowdy TD Garden, against a team seemingly designed specifically to beat them, with the media spotlight shining as bright as any regular season game in history, was like a rookie cornerback defending an in-his-prime Jerry Rice. Especially when Chris Bosh decided to sit out the game. (Wait, he actually played? I guess I just missed him.)

10. Kevin Garnett health watch

If Kevin Garnett were still as hobbled as he was last season, there’s no way — no way! — he would have harassed Bosh into 3-11 shooting. (Yeah, yeah, I knew Bosh actually played. Even if he did his best to hide.) Last night’s double-double was a nice start for KG. He looked fresh out there. He was bounding around like a kangaroo, hopping into passing lanes and disrupting everything the Heat did. Rich Levine noted this in his column, but I saw it too: Garnett’s first missed dunk (yes, he missed two) was a thing of beauty.

Paul Pierce looked spry too. Even if his 11 clutch, fourth-quarter points only earned him two sentences in this post. Brutal. Make it a third sentence: Pierce had balls of steel to attempt taking a charge from a full-speed Lebron. If Lebron the Locomotive had been charging at me, I would have been running the other direction, crying.

11. Last and definitely least…

Before letting you leave my way-too-long-winded post, here are two points I’ll be bringing up all year long (mostly because they were last year’s biggest weaknesses):

1) Turnovers – I thought Tony Allen might have brought the turnover disease with him to Memphis. Guess not.

2) Rebounding – Nine games into this season (including preseason), the Celtics still haven’t lost the rebounding battle once. They were +3 last night.

… And that is all. Finally. Now that I’ve sufficiently bored you all to death by writing all my thoughts about last night’s game, my job is over. Until next time.