Shaq Attaq.

Chris Forsberg set out to write about why Shaq wouldn’t fit in Boston, but the end result was something far different than the original intention. Why? Probably because he figured out during his research, “Holy shit! There might not be anybody on the market better than Shaq?!”

Long story short, Forsberg ended up wondering whether the Celtics should give Shaq a longer look. (ESPN Boston)

Forsberg’s points:

1. The Celtics sucked at rebounding last season. Shaq is one of only three players left on the market who was in the league’s top 25 in rebounding last year.
2. The other two? Earl Barron and Anthony Tolliver. Not exactly an awe-inspiring list.
3. Miami is weak up front. For all his shortcomings, Shaq can still bruise inside.
4. Kendrick Perkins is hurt. If Sheed retires, the Celtics need a big man pretty desperately. The market for big men is damn thin. Get where I’m going with this?

And the offseason beer goggles continue to do the trick.

Sheed’s retiring, Perk will probably miss the start of the season, and Luke Harangody won’t exactly remind anyone of Kevin McHale. As such, the C’s will need to sign at least one backup big man this offseason.

We went over the veteran big men yesterday; now it’s time for the youngsters to get some shine:

Besides being an up-and-coming center, Amir Johnson is also a dead ringer for Andre 3000.

Amir Johnson
An intriguing option. Was once overrated for his potential. Now, people might be sleeping on him as an athletic shot-blocker who runs the floor like a guard and makes a living off hustle plays. If you’re reading this blog, I probably don’t have to tell you that the Celtics are kinda old. Johnson would be a nice infusion of youth who, at 23 years old, already knows his role isn’t to score. And it’d be nice to have a backup center who’d actually try during the regular season, wouldn’t it?

Louis Amundson 
Birdman Jr. No, I’m not comparing Amundson to Lil Wayne. Think more along the lines of Chris Anderson with a pony-tail, no drug addiction, and no ink. Amundson is all heart, athleticism and energy. Like Johnson, another young athlete who knows his role. I wouldn’t mind taking an inexpensive flier on a guy like that. 

Ian Mahinmi
For years now, Mahinmi has been lauded for his potential. He’s long, strong, athletic and has been one of the best big men in D-League history (that’s got to count for something, right?). On the other hand, he’s also been a scrub for the Spurs. So what gives? Is Mahinmi still the guy with loads of potential? Or is he the player Gregg Popovich can’t trust?

Oleksiy Pecherov
He once had a great game against the Celtics. He also stinks.

Earl Barron
Another young big man who had a nice game against the C’s this year. Averaged 11 and 11 in a brief stint with the Knicks, after playing in the D-League for most of the season. I don’t mean to rain on Barron’s double-double parade, but the Knicks might have been playing in the D-League too.

Craig Smith
If you like 6’6″ power forwards built like a powerful and cut-up bowling ball, Smith is your guy. If you’re into length, not so much. Smith would help somewhere, but Big Baby already fills the role of widebody backup.

Hakim Warrick
I can still vividly remember one Warrick play from when he was at Syracuse where I said, “Wow. Dude can sky.” And it wasn’t a bucket, or even a block — it was a missed dunk. Warrick caught the ball in the post, turned and faced, realized nobody was in front of him, and jumped to dunk the ball… off two feet, from a standstill, outside the lane. The ball bounded off the back of the rim, but I’ll never forget that miss. One of the most exciting displays of athleticism I’ve ever seen. I called my friend to tell him and he couldn’t understand: ”Huh? But it was a miss.” I’m telling you, you had to be there. But that was then, this is now. Now Warrick is a skinny, frail power forward who could use a personal trainer or a cycle of steroids. And, oh yeah, he was also benched during the playoffs.

Josh Powell
If he’s not good enough to play for the L-words, let’s hope he’s not good enough to play for the Celtics either.

Anthony Tolliver
Most people probably know Tolliver because he was Amare’s Stoudemire’s most gruesome victim this past season. But he also put up some pretty decent numbers for Golden St. Granted, it was Golden St, but still.

Chris Hunter
Looks the part of an NBA big man. And, umm, well, did I say he looks the part of an NBA big man?

Randolph Morris
Morris was once one of the top players in his high school class. So was Lenny Cooke. Some people just peak at the wrong time.

Kris Humphries
At this point in his career, Humphries is probably best known for driving by Kevin Garnett a few times. That says a lot about Garnett’s health during the middle of last season, but it says even more about Humphries’ career to date. Humphries CAN score and rebound a little bit… but I don’t think he’s the final piece to the puzzle.

Shavlik Randolph
If Doc Rivers wants a player who would be less effective on the court than I would be, Randolph is his guy.

Tyrus Thomas
There’s one thing to like about Tyrus Thomas’ game: He’s very athletic. Other than that, he mostly looks like a chicken running around with his dome piece cut off. Granted, a very athletic chicken. But still.

Sean May
May was a terrific college player. He’s also last year’s winner of the “Most Inexplicably and Most Often Called a Potentially Good Player” award. May is fat, unathletic, injury-prone, and undersized. Anyone who thinks he could be good if he stays healthy probably also thinks Grizzly Adams had a beard. Wait, Grizzly Adams did have a beard? Beard or not, May has no chance to be a quality NBA player.

Jon Brockman
Along with Luke Harangody, members of the “best white college players who have no chance of making a serious impact in the NBA” First Team.

Johan Petro
Petro’s been around for so long I thought he was like 35 years old, but he’s only 24. Unfortunately for him, that doesn’t change his talent level.

If I forgot anybody (and I’m sure I probably did), a complete list of all free agents is here.

The Celtics have gotten rid of their morning walkthrough, but that doesn’t mean we have to. Here are a few Celtics links, and maybe even an NBA link or two, to help wake you up and get you focused for the day.

A telling photo. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

Mark Murphy, Boston Herald – “‘We had no focus, so I thought we deserved to lose,’ Rivers said. ‘The bank shot that Gallinari hit was the basketball gods punishing us for not having great focus.’ Here was Garnett’s take: ‘It was the basketball gods hurting us.’ Glen Davis chose to tell a parable. ‘I was surprised with our play today,’ he said. ‘But that’s the way it is. If you mess with the game – if you plant bad seed – then you’re going to reap a bad harvest. We took them lightly. We have to play. Pure and simple, we have to play.’”

Jonathan Abrams, New York Times – “For two seasons, the Knicks have slashed, purged and repeated in order to trim payroll in an attempt to attract star players through free agency. How does a center who can haul in 18 rebounds and score 17 points against the playoff-bound Boston Celtics resonate? The Knicks had him for a night. His name is Earl Barron. If he is not familiar, it is because he is the latest in a line of unfamiliar names to join the Knicks. He signed last week, fresh from the Development League, as the Knicks’ forgettable season quietly winds down. He may be with them next season. He may not. But he was everywhere for a noteworthy evening Tuesday, spreading his wiry 7-foot frame to grab rebound after rebound and helping the Knicks defeat the Celtics, 104-101, and spoil Nate Robinson’s return to Madison Square Garden.”

Julian Benbow, Boston Globe – “‘We made up our mind we thought we were going to win at any point and we could score whenever we wanted to and all of a sudden you get outhustled,’ Rivers said. Garnett offered no excuses. ‘I didn’t think we played good basketball at all,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what you call it, but we can’t come out and play like that. We just played like . . . we played like crap tonight.’ A letdown after the win over the Cavaliers? ‘That’s over,’ Garnett said. ‘You’ve got to respect each team in this league. You’ve got to come to play every night. You can’t pick and choose when you want to play. You can’t pick and choose when you want to execute. You can’t pick and choose when you want to play defense. You’ve got to prepare and play defense. You’ve got to prepare and play each team as if you’re playing Cleveland.’ Said Perkins, ‘We’re just two different teams from what I saw Sunday. It was just two different basketball teams.’”

Chris Forsberg, ESPNBoston – “As was the case in Friday’s meltdown against Houston, Boston’s starters couldn’t put a young and feisty opponent away Tuesday. Unlike other recent games, Boston simply seemed disinterested at times against New York. ‘The other games we didn’t play well, but [Tuesday night] I was disappointed,’ admitted Rivers. ‘It was a tough game to watch throughout. You could just see it not being there, in our defensive lapses, which, to me, is a result of focus.’ What made Tuesday’s loss sting even more was that the Hawks lost to the Bobcats, so the Celtics blew a chance to gain ground in the race for the third seed in the Eastern Conference. Atlanta remains a game ahead of Boston with five to play.”

Jessica Camerato, WEEI – “It didn’t take long for [Nate] Robinson, who sat out the entire game against the Cavaliers, to get back in. He got the nod late in the first quarter in front of his former home crowd. ‘I don’t know about inspirational or sentimental,’ Rivers told reporters before the game. ‘But I’m going to play him because the other guys want to see him play tonight. So I’m going to give him some run and hopefully he plays well.’ Robinson looked comfortable in New York, where he spent over five years. He scored five points and dished an assist during a comeback stretch by the Celtics in the fourth quarter. Robinson also finished the game with three rebounds and five assists in 14 minutes.”

A. Sherrod Blakely, CSNNE – “[Ray] Allen played more than 14 minutes in the second half – only Rondo played more during that time – and managed to score just three points on 1-for-3 shooting. In the pivotal fourth quarter, Allen didn’t get a single shot attempt. The only real attempt it seemed the C’s made in getting him a shot came on that desperation attempt near the end of the game. ‘I didn’t think Ray was open,’ Rondo said. Said Allen: ‘I don’t know when I came off, if Rondo didn’t see I was open. I don’t know what he had. Right when I came off the corner, I was ready for it. But I don’t know if he thought I wasn’t open, or what.’ Regardless of whether he was open or not, it should not have come down to that shot.”

Have a link I might want to look at? Send it my way by email (jayking@celticstown.com) or Twitter.

The contrast was decidedly stark.  Only one game after a no holds barred steel cage match with the Cleveland Cavaliers, the Boston Celtics decided to sleepwalk through 48 minutes in “the Mecca of Basketball,” Madison Square Garden.  As is often the case when applying zero effort against a team of NBA-caliber players — or, in New York’s case, mostly NBA-caliber players — the Celtics came away bowing their heads in defeat, losers by a score of 104-101.  Read more »

Maine Red Claws (23-15) vs. Iowa Energy (31-10)
7:30 PM Friday, March 12, at the Portland Expo
5:00 PM Sunday, March 14, at the Portland Expo

The Maine Red Claws have two monster showdowns this weekend, as they face the the East – and league – leading Iowa Energy (Chicago Bulls, Phoenix Suns) twice, Friday and Sunday.

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