Okay, the headline’s a little misleading. Shaq isn’t going to race cars, or airplanes, or even himself. He’s joined forces in an Oreo advertising campaign with Eli Manning, Apolo Anton Ohno and Venus Williams to stop a mysterious hooded menace from taking over the world. Think Oreos meets Power Rangers meets Captain Planet. (By your powers combined…)

Is it just me, or does Shaq’s physique look a little too much like Rasheed Wallace’s for comfort? Also, if Apolo Anton Ohno ever shaved his curious facial hair, he would fit right in with most kindergarten classes.