Like taking candy from a baby.

So, I was watching Cole Aldrich get dunked on the other day by some Iowa State player I’d never heard of and — after the inevitable high of watching a 7-footer get facialed — my mind started to wander.  I started to think about another big, white stiff who got dunked on all the time.  This guy was huuuugggeee, far taller than even Old King Cole, but his problem was that he was slow, weak, and tried to block every dunk in sight.

If you don’t know who I’m talking about by now, you’ve never seen Shawn Bradley awkwardly try to contest a dunk.  Almost without fail, when Bradley attempted to block a dunk he would end up on the wrong end of a poster.  His long, paper-thin arms would flail as player after player rose up and made Bradley their son.

Shaq alone scored more points dunking on Bradley than Roy Hibbert will score over his entire career.  Chris Webber looked across the court at Bradley and told photographers to be ready for greatness at all times.  Even Gheorghe Muresan’s eyes lit up when matched against the league’s other 7’7″ stiff. 

When SportsCenter runs a Top Ten list strictly of plays in which you got dunked on, it’s time to learn a three-word phrase I base my own defense on…

Duck and run.