Dunleavy’s an unrestricted free agent who averaged 11.2 points and 4.6 rebounds last season for the Indiana Pacers, visiting the playoffs — if you can believe it — for the first time since being drafted in 2002. Thus ended a playoff drought of Troy Murphian proportions.

I like Dunleavy. He can score. He can shoot (40.2 percent on triples last year). He’s relatively versatile. He’s from Duke. And he was once featured on Deadspin for wearing a tu-tu, which is actually a lot cooler than it sounds because I’m 99.999 percent positive he was just dressing up as Ace Ventura when Ventura pretended to be a mental hospital patient in order to snoop for clues regarding Ray Finkle. Who is Einhorn. Who is also Finkle. Who is also Einhorn. Who is both a man and a woman. Which only makes sense if you’ve seen the movie. Laces out, Dan.

I could discuss the merits of an Ace Ventura costume all day, but anyone willing to dress in a tu-tu in the name of comedy is okay with me. Especially if he averaged double figures last season for a playoff team and could potentially command a relatively cheap salary.

“Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble. There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.” — Og Mandino, whoever that is

There is always a seed of good in every adversity, huh? Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, you say? Personally, I’d rather have smooth sailing. I’d rather see no stars at all while standing on the top of a mountain than be stuck at the bottom of a well with no rescue in sight. But hey, that’s just me.

Forgive me for opening with a deep, philosophical quote. I’m running out of ways to say, “The Celtics really sucked tonight, guys. I’m not sure why they keep having more droughts than Lil’ Wayne. I’m not sure why they don’t particularly care about losing the first seed, and perhaps the second seed. I’m not sure why they can put together a few good stretches here and there, but never 48 minutes. I’m not sure why they just let ‘Shitty Team X’ beat them, when they should have been masterly motivated after their horrendous performance against ‘Shitty Team Y.’ I’m not sure when they’ll snap out of this pattern.”

The Celtics made 54.8% of their field goals and shot 36 free throws (compared to Indiana’s 22 free throw attempts). Still, they lost. They lost despite Rajon Rondo finally coming back to life. They lost despite Glen Davis remembering how to put the ball in the bucket. They lost despite Paul Pierce’s latest stint as a professional scorer. They lost despite jumping to an early double-digit lead, and despite playing the (then) 32-42, (now) 33-42 Indiana Pacers. Watching the Celtics right now is like being Bill Murray in Groundhog’s Day, except I don’t think I could ever learn how to make ice sculptures.

Boston’s interior defense made Roy Hibbert look like Kareem Abdul-Jabarr, which means that, in consecutive games, Nenad Krstic has now been outplayed by Kwame Brown, Darko Milicic and Roy Hibbert. Krstic is just thankful the Celtics don’t play Michael Olowokandi, Greg Ostertag, Pervis Ellison or Sam Bowie next. In all fairness to Krstic, Glen Davis had just as much to do with Hibbert’s 26 points. Whoever defended Hibbert, he simply turned and deposited a hook shot into the hoop. When you’re seven feet two inches tall and the defense allows you whatever post position you like, basketball’s that easy.

I want to write more, but it’s the same song, different day. If you’re looking for silver linings, at least the Celtics scored 100 points for the first time in almost three weeks. But being stuck in a deep well, even if you have a perfect view of the stars, sucks.

“Sometimes you feel tired, feel weak. And when you feel weak, you feel like you want to just give up. But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you.” – Eminem, Till I Collapse

I quote “Till I Collapse” partially as a tribute to Nate Dogg, who was featured in the song and (R.I.P.) passed away yesterday. I wanted to shout out Nate Dogg, and, frankly, “Till I Collapse” seemed like a better choice than “I’ve got hoes in different area codes.”

The quote also properly describes the current state of the Boston Celtics, who now sit one-half game behind the Chicago Bulls for the Eastern Conference’s top spot, with the Indiana Pacers awaiting the Celtics tonight. The Celtics seem stuck in a “dog days of March” rut, losing three of their last four games (none of the losses to the league’s elite) at this inopportune juncture of the season. They need to find that inner strength and just, umm, pull that shit out of themselves.

Rajon Rondo has suddenly become an average point guard, capable of being severely outplayed by Mo Williams and Brandon Jennings (but hopefully not Darren Collison). Boston’s offense, which was supposed to improve with the additions of Nenad Krstic and Jeff Green, has been stuck in quicksand and could use a jolt of energy (perhaps in the form of Delonte West?). Meanwhile, the defense has also suffered. (Boston Herald)

“There’s 17 games left,” said Paul Pierce, another scoreboard watcher who right after the New Jersey loss knew exactly what was left of the season, and exactly how long the Celtics have to fix whatever is ailing them.

“We have to get better,” Ray Allen added. “The trades are over, all of the guys are here that we are going to have.”

The goal has always been home-court advantage, since an 83-79 loss sent the Celtics home for the summer with tears welled up in their eyes. There are 17 games to fight for the conference’s top seed and form chemistry with all the new additions, 17 games to fend off Chicago and earn a path of least resistance to the Finals.

The Pacers are tonight’s foe, and, umm, Tyler Hansbrough has become their top dog? Sounds strange, to anyone who has paid attention the past two seasons, but it’s true. Scoring at least 20 points in each of his last five games, Hansbrough is making Larry Bird look smart for drafting him.

The bruiser’s game has not changed much since his college days, though Gerald Henderson no longer aims elbows at his head. Hansbrough still shoots hook shots from his hip, still throws his body around like a fullback, still plays basketball like the next rebound or layup will result in life or death, still… dunks on Amare Stoudemire? Josh McRoberts calls Hansbrough “funny to watch, in a good way,” and the former North Carolina star, finally returning to game shape after a battle with vertigo, has earned the trust of new coach Frank Voegel.

Still, no matter how well Psycho T has played lately, the Celtics should beat the Indiana Pacers, and they could really use the win to hold off the surging Bulls.

Which reminds me: I almost led with a different quote, this one actually by Nate Dogg.

“They gonna come up real quick,” he sang in Warren G’s Regulate. “Before they start to clown, I best pull out my strap and lay those busters down.”

Understand the comparison?

'Qusiy took advantage of his former team.

These are the nights when Marquis Daniels reminds you of his ability. When he methodically slithers inside the defense, poses matchup difficulties for anyone unlucky enough to defend him, and looks like he should be a front-runner for Sixth Man of the Year.

Tonight, I would even say Daniels took over the game. He was the main reason the Celtics shook off an ugly first quarter (and a few ugly minutes in the third) to beat the Indiana Pacers, 95-83.

Unfortunately, these are also the nights that make you wonder why. Why doesn’t Daniels do this every night? Why can’t he always provide such a threat? Why does he often fade into the background, rather than making such a severe impact?

I’m barely going to discuss those answers, mostly because I’ve discussed them in the past. (Put a markedly smaller or slower guy on Daniels, and he’s a major threat. Put a player his size and speed on Daniels, and he’s not nearly as productive. If Daniels were seven feet tall, I’m entirely convinced he would have been one of the premier low-post players of all-time. Unfortunately, he’s a post player in a small forward’s body.) Daniels was able to erupt tonight because he saw a favorable matchup. Every once in a while, Daniels sees a defender he can easily work out. His eyes light up, his passiveness washes away, and Daniels becomes a nightmare for opponents. Like tonight.

But more impressive even than Daniels’ offense, to me, was his defense.

The only reason the Celtics get away with a Daniels-Allen-Pierce backcourt is Daniels’ ability to keep quicker PGs in front of him. That ability seems odd, because Daniels always seems like he’s idling. His gas pedal rarely pressed very forcefully, Daniels slowly coasts around the court, like a middle-aged man out for a weeknight jog. He almost never seems quick, even for a small forward. And then he defends Darren Collison, a blur with the ball, and keeps him in between his knees the whole time. (Pause.)

You see, Daniels travels at his own speed. There’s a calmness and pace to his game, which usually hide the quickness he displays while defending the league’s quicker point guards. Yet when he needs to, Daniels breaks out another gear. Let’s call it the “I desperately need to be quicker than normal, because otherwise Collison will blow right by me every time” gear.

While Daniels was a catalyst, he wasn’t the only Celtic who brought it tonight. Kevin Garnett didn’t exactly scorch the nets, but he didn’t need to. He was everywhere defensively, disrupting everything Indiana tried to do. There was one possession when Roy Hibbert desperately tried to post Garnett on the blocks. Sorry, bro. Not happening. Garnett fronted him, denying Hibbert the ball. Hibbert tried again to establish position. Again, not happening. After a third attempt at good position, Hibbert finally gave up. But Garnett’s defense wasn’t done. Danny Granger drove to the hoop, and Garnett contested the shot. If I’m not mistaken, he also grabbed the rebound. Try again, Pacers. This ain’t last year’s Garnett.

Paul Pierce, as Pierce tends to do, gave the game what it needed. After picking up two quick fouls, Pierce re-entered the game early in the second quarter. Seeing that Nate Robinson was not doing a very good Rajon Rondo impression, Pierce became the primary playmaker. He threaded a pass to Glen Davis for an easy layup, then proceeded to score seven straight points himself. One of the buckets was vintage Pierce, posting up a smaller defender at the elbow and making the defender his puppet. Is any other player better at making smaller defenders pay? (And no, Marquis Daniels isn’t quite at Pierce’s level.)

Avery Bradley won’t get much credit for a good night, but actually kept a smile on my face the whole time he played. Bradley’s offensive game (wait, what offensive game?) still needs work. He’s hesitant, and doesn’t yet make instinctual moves. But defensively, and hustle-wise? Yes, please. There was one play when Bradley hounded T.J. Ford, forcing him to aimlessly dribble 20 or so seconds off the shot clock. There was another play when Bradley hunted down a rebound with ferocity, and another when he missed a shot, scampered after his rebound, and got fouled on a reverse layup attempt. Bradley still lacks any type of polish whatsoever, but he plays SO hard. Hustle alone doesn’t make a great NBA player, or else Brian Cardinal would have been an All-Star. But Bradley’s got impressive heart, and if he plays as hard as he did tonight, he’ll impact every game he plays.

Von Wafer played decently, Nate Robinson continued his recent struggles, Ray Allen was silently Ray Allen, and Shaq keeps compiling fouls like they’re worth something. Glen Davis was the 2010 version of Glen Davis, and Jermaine O’Neal logged more fouls (3) than points and rebounds combined (2). Let’s hope he’s just taking some time to get his ‘C’ legs (see what I did there?).

For the Pacers, I still have a soft spot in my heart for James Posey (and Jim O’Brien, and Walter McCarty, but most definitely not Vitaly Potapenko). Also, one more thing: when Josh McRoberts played for Duke, if you told me he was going to start for an NBA team in 2010, I would have told you, “Yeah, only if the NBA expands to a 70-team league.” But he’s actually halfway decent, and it’s weird. As a Blue Devil fan, McRoberts was somewhere between “ridiculously disappointing” and “the most over-hyped recruit in Duke history.” Now, he’s a high-flying white boy who lives to attack the rim.

But no matter how improbable McRoberts’ NBA success (can I call it that?) has been, this night will remain Marquis Daniels’.

If only Darren Collison could defend him every game.

The similarities are eerie.

Last year, at this time, the Boston Celtics were 23-5. They were coming off a Christmas Day showdown with the Orlando Magic, and everyone in the Eastern Conference bowed down to the Big Green. (Which is also the name of a superb children’s flick, but I digress.)

Sound similar? I thought so, too. But do the Celtics expect a repeat performance? Not exactly. (Boston Herald)

“We ain’t even thinking about that,” said Paul Pierce. “This is a different team. I think injuries bit us really hard last year. I think me not being healthy for the majority of the season after Christmas, it made for inconsistent basketball.”

Echoed Rajon Rondo, “I’m not concerned. It’s no big deal. It’s another year, a different team.”

Still, there is some cause for concern. Doc Rivers sees some slippage, and he feels the Celtics are winning but not improving. Of course, part of that is missing their best player due to injury, but still.

“We were just watching film, and clearly we could have played a lot better on Christmas Day,” he said. “But that happens. It gives us a good teaching session.

“You know, sometimes you can be winning games but not improving, and that’s one of the things we talked about. Yeah, we’re winning, but the key is to win and improve. And right now we’re just winning.

“You can’t get away from your principles, and really I think we’ve done that,” Rivers said. “We’ve been lucky enough to win a lot of the games in this stretch, and the Orlando game, it was a teaching clinic on principles that we usually do that we didn’t do. But when you start winning, you get that false sense that we can get away with it.”

Are the Celtics prepped for a 27-27 slide to end the season, a la last year? Probably not. They are deeper now than they were last season, and Pierce’s and KG’s health — while not promised tomorrow — provide cause for optimism. Still, it’s best if the C’s end the slippage now, and start improving again. I don’t think I can handle another three or four months of .500 ball. The Celtics almost killed me last season, and I say that without any hint of exaggeration.

Here’s to getting back on the winning track tonight, against the Pacers hailing from Indiana.

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Kevin Garnett raises teammate’s play with effort

Let me get this out of the way first: I just want to hug someone.

Not a quick hug, either. A big bear hug, complete with some really homo-erotic whispering in someone’s ear.

I’m sorry if this is the creepiest lead in Celtics Town history (and by “if”, I mean it most certainly is), but that’s the type of mood that seeing James Posey puts me in. Big Game James is unequivocally the greatest hugger in Boston Celtics history. 

When you add to my hugging mood the beautiful sight of Walter McCarty, Vitaly Potapenko, and Jim O’Brien on the Pacers bench, today was a good day. All it was missing was a Pervis Ellison sighting, but, well, I guess I can do without that.

Getting to the actual game, Paul Pierce did everything for the Celtics. And I mean everything. For parts of this season, I wondered whether Pierce could still produce nights like this. He’s had a nice and efficient season, but (as Celtics Hub’s Ryan DeGama noted) Pierce has also been a shot-maker, rather than a shot-creator. We wondered whether he could still create shots, for himself and others, if he needed to.

With Rondo out, our Allen Iverson is now clear. In other words, our Answer is now clear. Pierce can still make plays. The reason he hasn’t this season is a changing of his role, rather than an inability. Rondo needs the ball in his hands, and he needs to be the facilator, and so Pierce offers what the Celtics need. He hits spot-up shots, scores efficiently, and generally plays like a second or third fiddle.

Not today. Today was a flashback to the 2008 NBA Finals, Game 5. The C’s lost that game, but Pierce did it all. He brought the ball up, ran pick-and-rolls, limited Kobe defensively, kept his teammates involved, and generally played like he was the best all-around player in basketball. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not calling him the league’s best all-around player, not at all. But on nights like that Game 5, and days like today, Pierce sure as hell does a good impersonation.

The difference between last year and this year, in Pierce, is stunning. I see him probe the defense now, with his slow, methodical technique, and know he couldn’t have done this “put the team on my back” routine last year. Not when his body wasn’t feeling right, and fluid was squirting out of his knee, and Ron Artest was shutting him down in the Finals.

There’s still a long way to go in this season, of course. Pierce always seems to look spry in the season’s early months, and sometimes looks run down by the end. But if he can keep this up, this “do whatever my team needs me to” mentality and ability, these Celtics will continue to be the Eastern Conference favorites all season long.

My next point is Nate Robinson, the trouble-making little kid with whom you can’t stay angry for long. There was one play (and I’m not exaggerating)when Nate drove through the paint, closed his eyes, turned his body away from the hoop, and tossed a backwards, vision-less shot off the side of the backboard. These are the things he does, and these are the times it’s frustrating to have Nate Robinson on your favorite team.

But then, later in the game, three Pacers go after a loose ball. Nate is the farthest away from the ball, and most players in Nate’s position wouldn’t even put up a fight. But Nate is different. Nate is a 5’9″ (in heels) bolt of lightning who exudes nothing if not 100% energy, all the time. He sprints his way past the first two Pacers, and there’s only one more standing between him and the ball. Nate is still in the outside lane, still has a lot of work to do to reach this unattainable loose ball. He dives on the floor, and the Pacers must feel shocked. This ball was theirs, but this tiny man — this boyish-looking person with a flattop fade — stole it with an effort level they couldn’t match.

At that point, I felt like Harry in Dumb and Dumber: “Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!” Nate frustrates me, all the time, and I’m sure he frustrates Doc Rivers, too. But he tries, and he never stops trying, and it’s tough for me not to forgive him, even after his biggest, most bone-headed blunders.

Moving on, it was nice to see Shaq back in business. Unless you’re Jeff Foster. Then you really wish Shaq’s injury hadn’t healed in time for today’s game.

Shaq’s presence changes things for the Celtics, especially when he has 11 first-quarter points. Also, it’s nice that opponents continuously commit lane violations against Shaq. Imagine how low The Big Diesel’s free throw percentage would be if he didn’t get extra opportunities on approximately 25% of his misses.

With Shaq back in the lineup, Semih Erden played only seven minutes. In other news, he actually grabbed a rebound today. Which gives him a grand total of one rebound in his last two games. And yes, he is still seven feet tall.

Just as I know the sun will rise in the morning, I know Glen Davis will produce on both ends of the court every night. His consistency, entirely lacking last season, has become marvelous. Doc can pencil him in for 12-18 points, 5-7 rebounds, and 1-2 charges taken every single game. That’s a hell of a weapon to bring off the bench.

Anything else I missed? KG didn’t look quite as springy as he has lately, (which could be blamed on his soreness), but also viciously crossed over Jeff Foster. And no, it was not a good day to be named Jeff Foster. Mike Dunleavy scored well but didn’t even look like he wanted to be playing basketball, Danny Granger making a three-pointer is “just like duck soup to him” (please send Tommy Heinsohn all questions regarding the meaning of that statement), and even Solomon Jones’s mother cringes each time he shoots a jumper. And Roy Hibbert took 23 shots to score 17 points, but also somehow managed to impress me in the gory process.

Yes, we will end this with one more ode to Paul Pierce’s triple-double: