I just played basketball for the first time in a month or so, and I was out there ballin’. I’m serious, too. Nobody could guard me. I was in the zone. It doesn’t even matter that I’m a 23-year old former college basketball player and I was playing against high schoolers, because I’ve still got it. The shooting touch won’t go away, ladies and gentlemen. No matter how out of shape I get.

I’m just lucky I wasn’t playing against Jahii Carson. He probably would have dunked all over my face, and it would have been even more embarrassing because he isn’t even six feet tall. The man can sky.

P.S. – You might recognize Carson’s name as the player who said ““Austin Rivers, he just comes out and dominates every time. He’s got NBA speed and NBA moves already … I think he’s the best player in our class.” Rivers might be the best player in the class (and ESPN ranks him as such), but Carson’s no slouch himself. Even though I’m almost positive he uses Flubber in his shoes.

P.P.S. – Read Shaq’s question and answer with the New Orleans Times Picayune. He says some pretty interesting things.

I don’t know who this dunker is, besides that his name is Jahii Carson and he’s apparently 5’10″ tall. I don’t know who this defender is, besides that he’s apparently 6’8″ and was utterly humiliated by a flying point guard with no regard to gravity or human manners.

Take a seat, tall man. I hope you enjoy the nice smell of nuts in your face.