Clutch.

Luke Ridnour looped around a screen and cut through the paint, one long step after the next. The lane was wide open, and nobody was there to stop him, and a late, one-point Celtics lead was about to be flipped upside down. Except Ridnour took one big step too many, and Ray Allen soared in like a miniature Bill Russell to swat away a shot that didn’t even count.

The block resounded in the Garden rafters, and, though it didn’t count, symbolized the late-game Celtics run. Through most of the game Kevin Love played volleyball off the backboard, Michael Beasley did his best impression of a late-game killer, and the Celtics looked lost. But when it counted, when these Celtics really needed to elevate their play at winning time, they made every play necessary, escaping the TD Garden with a 96-93 win.

Of course, that’s the sunny side of looking at things. There was also a much gloomier side, mostly having to do with rebounding. When Kevin Love rebounds the ball only six fewer times than your entire team, it’s time to look at yourselves in the mirror. I don’t care if Kevin Garnett didn’t play, and I don’t care that Kevin Love is to rebounding what Boy Meets World is to children’s shows. The C’s still possess more than enough size (I’m looking at you, O’Neal brothers and Glen Davis) to rebound the basketball.

But the past few games have been a running clinic in how NOT to rebound. No Celtic big man grabbed more than three caroms tonight (congratulations, Jermaine O’Neal — you were the least shitty big man rebounder on the Celtics). Von Wafer — yes, Von Wafer — and Paul Pierce led the Celtics in rebounding, with six apiece. Next was Rajon Rondo, with four boards. The big men, though? Pathetic. In every sense of the word. There will be more teams that are Kevin Love’d this season, of course. But the Celtics, with all their size and experience, should never be subjected to such a poor showing on the glass. Even if KG’s injured.

There were other aspects of tonight’s game, of course. Von Wafer was one major bright spot, and I find myself thinking that — by the time this season’s all said and done — he could become a huge cog off the bench. At the very least, he’s now proving himself capable of playing legitimate basketball. Nate Robinson was one major dark spot, as I continuously find myself marveling at his seesaw nature.

But I’ll save my other thoughts for tomorrow. For now, just remember a gritty win that shouldn’t have needed to be so gritty. These Celtics are now showing the effects of cumulative injuries, and I don’t want to get used to gutting out wins versus Minnesota. Even if Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo hit plenty of clutch jumpers to help seal the deal.

First, what in the world was Kevin Love thinking? He couldn’t have been serious with that shot attempt, right?

Second, Dwyane Wade took his opportunity to welcome Wesley Johnson to the NBA. “You might have been the most athletic player at Syracuse, son. But you aren’t playing against the Butler Bulldogs anymore.”

Third, neither of the two reasons above are the main reason I posted this clip. It was only blog-worthy because my main man Sebastian Telfair thought he could take a charge.

Almost, Bassy. Almost.

The season is approaching (but not quickly enough), so that means it’s NBA preview time. Starting with the league’s worst team and working our way to the top, we’ll preview one team per day.

Love must hate being stuck in Minnesota. Cold weather and bad basketball. Is there anything worse?

Minnesota Timberwolves

Last year’s record: 15-67
Head Coach: Kurt Rambis
Projected Starters: Jonny Flynn, Martell Webster, Corey Brewer, Michael Beasley, Kevin Love

Outlook:

Quite simply, not good. When the league’s second-worst team unloads its best player for a couple draft picks and a sack of potatoes (aka Kosta Koufos); re-signs the decade’s biggest bust for $20 million; holds its future in the hands of a pothead and a 19-year old Spaniard who may or may not play in the United States anytime soon; then takes out a full-page ad in a local newspaper to apologize; well, that team has been Kahn’d. And, for the foreseeable future at least, it has little hope.

X-Factor:

Michael Beasley. You know how he underacheived in Miami. He went to drug rehab, never found his niche, didn’t adjust well to the NBA game, couldn’t defend a soul — the list of Beasley’s shortcomings the past couple years is longer than Shawn Bradley’s arms. But underneath all the billows of marijuana smoke, there’s potential. We saw it at Kansas St., and we saw glimpses of it in Miami. If Beasley can get his life and game together, he could be a 25 and 10 type; he’s THAT talented. If not? He’ll be the second-biggest draft bust on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Biggest Question Mark:

Will Ricky Rubio ever play a game in a Minnesota Timberwolves jersey? I know that question doesn’t have anything to do with next year’s team. Then again, it’s tough to find a question about next year’s Timberwolves team worth answering. They’re going to be bad, and probably 2009-2010 New Jersey Nets bad. Rubio is a rare Spaniard of hope for a franchise in dire straits.

Most important newcomer:

Beasley, simply because he has — by far — the highest upside. But don’t sleep on Wesley Johnson. The Wolves could regret choosing Johnson ahead of DeMarcus Cousins, but the 6’7″ jumping jack might make an immediate impact on both ends of the court. Emphasis on might.

Biggest loss:

Al Jefferson. What? Did you think I was going to say Nathan Jawai?

Most compelling storyline:

Can it be anything but David Kahn? Kahn spent the summer doing his best Isiah Thomas impersonation, then called Darko Milicic a “manna from heaven.” It’s just a shame manna’s suck at basketball. Anyway, Kahn’s ineptitude is the only reason anyone’s discussed the Timberwolves this summer. Not only is he the most compelling storyline, but he’s pretty damn close to being the only storyline.

Player to watch:

Kevin Love. Mostly by default, but also because Love’s damn good. His averages last season? 14 points and 11 rebounds, in only 28.6 minutes. Can somebody please let Kurt Rambis in on a secret the rest of the NBA world seems to know? Love deserves more playing time.

Descriptive movie quote:

“Look – you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin’ construction, I’ll fuckin’ kill you. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fuckin’ kill you.” – Good Will Hunting

To Love, the only Timberwolf worth writing about. In twenty years, if Love’s still playing in Minnesota, wasting his unique talents on shitty teams surrounded by shitty players, I’ll fucking kill him. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fucking kill him. You know what the best part of my day is? It’s for about ten seconds from when I put on the TV to when I switch the channel to the Timberwolves game. Because I think maybe I’ll flip the station and Love won’t be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin’. Just left. I don’t know much, but I know that.

Projected Record: 17-65. Mediocrity would be a drastic improvement for the Wolves. But mediocrity ain’t happening any time soon.

Former UCLA teammates Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook hooked up for this sick alley-oop in Team USA’s 92-57 victory over Tunisia. Naturally, it was the 6-10 Love with the alley, and the 6-3 Westbrook with the oop.

For what it’s worth, here are my rankings (in descending order) of the Team USA players I’d most want on my team if I were an NBA GM. This list includes the withdrawn Rajon Rondo and is based on how these players perform in the NBA, rather than how their games translate to international basketball.
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The latest loop on the roller-coaster ride that has been Rajon Rondo’s experience with Team USA: Rondo could be the last player cut before the team heads to Turkey for the World Championships. Read more »