Editor’s note: Introducing Nick Williamson as Celtics Town’s newest writer. Enjoy his work.

Legends.

After the Los Angeles Lakers finally eclipsed the Suns in game 6,  Arash Markazi of ESPN Los Angeles asked Kobe Bryant to comment on the upcoming installment of the historic Celtics-Lakers rivalry. Kobe’s response, “I’m playing in it. I don’t give a damn about it. That’s for other people to get excited it about. I get excited about winning.”

When taken at face value, Bryant’s comment seems downright moronic–as if, at the exact moment he was responding, Ron Artest’s mind was telepathically controlling Kobe’s mouth. Such an occurrence would require considerable brain power and seems highly unlikely, as Artest is obviously illiterate. I mean c’mon, you saw his Tweets about Phil Jackson during the Utah series.

If you didn’t, or just want to laugh your ass off again:

“Finally Phil Jackson didn’t mention me in media before talking me Now I can build on game 2. Hopefully he talks to me before media.”

“Ever since phil mention things about me in media before coming to me first I was weird. So every pray he can somehow close his yapper and now say AMEN.”

Really, dude? Do you want us to buy you hooked on phonics? No wonder Phil Jackson gets so fed up with Artest’s crap. You have Coach Jackson, a prolific reader and published author, attempting to communicate with a man who can barely understand the scoreboard. Aw, now I understand why Artest hoisted that three when could have run out the clock. He can’t read good.

Assuming that Jedi-mind tricks weren’t at work, we can only conclude that Kobe is making a concerted effort to downplay the influence of Celtics-Lakers history. Despite his best efforts to project otherwise, there is no doubt that Kobe Bryant wants nothing more than to play and beat the Celtics in the finals.

As Markazi points out,

If you grew up as a Boston Red Sox fan, you dreamed of hitting the walk-off home run to beat the New York Yankees. If you grew up as a Washington Redskins fan, you dreamed of scoring the winning touchdown to beat the Dallas Cowboys. And if you grew up as a Lakers fan, as Bryant did, you dreamed of hitting the game-winning shot to beat the Celtics. (or Visa Versa)

Downplaying the importance of Celtics-Lakers is like calling Marilyn Monroe ugly. You’re talking about a magnificent duel between two fundamentally different teams, cities….coasts. Every player involved in this years Finals carries the weight of the wars waged by previous generations of superstars. For Kobe Bryant, this series is about his legacy as an all-time Laker great; the ring that would tie him with Magic Johnson.

For the Celtics, nothing would be sweeter than tarnishing that legacy.

Doc Rivers is well aware of the historical significance of this rivalry. He didn’t mince words during a WEEI interview on the Dennis and Callahan show.

I know the history. I love the history of the game. To be part of it is huge for me, personally. But you feel a responsibility. You don’t want them to beat you. And that’s just the bottom line. Let’s say you were playing Phoenix. You still would want to win the world championship, obviously. But you’re playing the Lakers, and it’s like you’re thinking more about you want to beat them and less about wanting to win the title. And that’s probably good.

Being that the C’s are such a cohesive unit, it’s safe to assume that Doc’s sentiment trickles down through the line up. Pierce, KG and the rest of the squad are well aware of the tradition ingrained in Celtic green.

As for Boston fans, there is no doubt that this rivalry resurrects the passions of past match-ups, as the triumvirate of Bird, McHale and Parish gives way to Pierce, Garnett and Allen.

Oh yeah, Rondo is pretty good too.

As I sit here, watching the Red Sox play the Athletics, a night before the NBA Finals even begin, audible cheers of “Beat LA” reign out over Fenway Park.

Let the show begin.

No double-team necessary, thank you.

At least one Orlando Magic writer really, really let his imagination get away from him after Orlando’s clean sweep of the first two rounds.  Josh Cohen has already anointed Orlando as one of the greatest teams of all-time. (OrlandoMagic.com)

I know the Eastern Conference Finals hasn’t even started yet, and I know to be categorized as a “superior” all-time team you must win the grand prize first.

But, after two rounds of the playoffs, it may be reasonable to believe that the Magic have the opportunity to be remembered as one of the best Eastern Conference teams of the past decade and even one of the greatest in NBA history.

Let’s take a step back there, Josh Cohen.  This proclamation of yours is quite a bit premature, to say the least.  Kind of like that dude in American Pie with that Nadia chick.

What have the Magic done so far?  Won eight straight playoff games?  Sweet, Josh Cohen.  That doesn’t automatically make them the greatest thing since Bagel Bites.  Let’s just recap why:

1. The Magic weren’t even the #1 seed – Lest you forget, Josh Cohen, the Cleveland Cavaliers had the NBA’s best record and the East’s #1 seed.  Hell, Orlando didn’t even make it to 60 wins.  They finished the season stuck on 59, 13 wins less than Chicago’s record.  By my count, 42 teams have won at least 62 games.  20 of those teams won titles.  What, exactly, makes Orlando better than those 20 teams?  Even if Orlando wins a title, why should they be considered greater than those teams?
2. Who have they beaten? – Not to belittle their “epic” eight-game win streak to start the postseason, but who have the Magic beaten?  A mediocre-at-best Charlotte Bobcats squad and an Atlanta Hawks team that was a perfectly bad matchup for Orlando.  Atlanta’s best attribute is its athletic frontcourt, but playing against Dwight Howard completely mitigated that characteristic and makes it a disadvantage.  Sure, sweeping both those teams was still impressive — I’ll admit that.  It just wasn’t anything to bow down and kiss Orlando’s feet about.  The Magic were supposed to smoke those teams.
3. Who’s their go-to guy? – Do the Magic even have a go-to guy?  Does anybody trust Vince Carter when the lights are brightest?  I know Dwight Howard isn’t going to get Orlando any crunch-time buckets and — if Vince’s career is anything to judge by — he’s not very reliable come crunch-time either.  I know it doesn’t seem like Orlando has missed Hedo Turkoglu too much yet, but there will come a time when they will.  He was their best play-maker and always seemed to make big plays in the fourth quarter.  Who does that now?
4. Can’t they win a title first? – I know Josh Cohen mentioned that you can’t be mentioned as a “superior all-time team” until you “win the grand prize,” but this needs reiterating.  Orlando hasn’t done anything of note yet.  They came in second in the Eastern Conference in the regular season.  So they swept two overmatched teams in the first two rounds.  Big whoop.  Does anybody think last year’s Cleveland Cavaliers are a “superior all-time team?”  They had more regular season wins than this year’s Orlando squad, finished the regular season in first place, and swept the first two rounds of the playoffs.  Want to know why they aren’t considered one of the best teams ever?  They lost in the third round.  Let’s make Orlando win something first.

Cohen then continues his ridiculously absurd column, posting all the Eastern Conference champions from this past decade that this season’s Orlando team would beat.

If you look at the past decade alone, I am already close to conclude that this Magic team is one of the most complete, most dynamic Eastern Conference teams in the last 10 years. Let’s take a look at the last 10 East teams to reach the NBA Finals:

I am confident the Magic would beat the 2000 Pacers, 2001 76ers, 2002 Nets, 2003 Nets, 2004 Pistons, 2005 Pistons, 2006 Heat, 2007 Cavaliers and last year’s Magic team in a seven-game series.

First of all, let me say that — of all these teams — only the 2004 Pistons and 2006 Heat won titles.  Secondly, I’m not so sure the Magic beat either of those teams.  Think about the 2006 Heat: Shaq in his almost-prime cancels out Dwight Howard, and Dwyane Wade that postseason was one of the best players in history.  If you don’t remember, Wade was on an absolute mission that year.  Do you think he was going to let Vince Carter or Matt Barnes was going to stand in the way of his title?  Yeah the Magic are a more balanced team, but Dwyane Wade was an absolute serial killer that year.  Throw Miami’s regular season record out the window that year — they didn’t care during the regular season, not even a little — and all of a sudden the Heat might have been better than Orlando.

As for the 2004 Pistons, I’m not sure they lose to this Magic team either.  Ben Wallace was the world’s best defender at that point, and Rasheed Wallace was no slouch at either side of the floor.  He wasn’t the Sheed we know and “love” today.  On top of that, that Pistons team was balanced offensively and terrific defensively.  They had weapons at all five positions and played incredibly well together.  Are we SURE that Pistons team doesn’t beat this year’s Orlando squad, even though they took down Kobe and Shaq when both players were in their primes?  No, we aren’t.  Not in the least.

If the Magic wouldn’t definitively beat two of the weaker NBA champions in history, how can we say their one of the league’s best teams ever?  Especially when they haven’t even won a damn title or even a regular season conference championship?  WE CAN’T!, Josh Cohen, you damn fool.

Cohen then goes on to question whether the Magic might have been able to beat the 2008 Boston Celtics.

The only big question mark I would have is the 2008 Celtics. But remember, Boston that season was tested in every round. Atlanta and Cleveland forced the Celtics to seven games in the first two rounds and then Detroit and the L.A. Lakers took them to six each before they won the title.

I’ll save Cohen the time thinking about whether this year’s Magic are better than those Celtics: No, not a chance.  It took the Celtics some time to get their playoff sea legs but they still won every necessary game.  When the stakes were biggest, that Celtics team was at its best.  They had one of the best defenses in NBA history and three superstars on offense.  No way Orlando is better than that team.  The 2008 C’s won 66 games and a championship, beating Kobe Bryant in the finals.  So you can shove all your “tight series” talk up your ass, Josh Cohen, because Orlando isn’t better.  It’s not even close.  Again, all the Magic have done is finish second in the East and sweep two perfect matchups.  Nothing to rewrite history over, I assure you.

Cohen then finishes up the piece with his biggest faux pas yet.

I am someone that loves to discuss what it would be like if all-time great teams from different years or different generations competed in a series. For instance, what would happen if the 1995-96 Chicago Bulls (72 wins) faced off against the 2000-01 Los Angeles (15-1 in playoffs)? Who would have a better series, Michael Jordan or Kobe Bryant? Would the Bulls have any answer for Shaquille O’Neal? Which Ron Harper would show up (he played for both teams)?

I hope we can ultimately have this discussion about the 2009-10 Orlando Magic. It would be pretty awesome if in two months we start projecting what would happen if the 1995-86 Boston Celtics, for example, took on our Magic. Pretty cool, right?

No, Josh Cohen, it wouldn’t be cool if you projected what would happen if the 1985-1986 Boston Celtics took on your Magic.  You wanna know why?  Because your troops would get waxed. Stomped. Pulverized.

Does Vince Carter guard Larry Bird?  Does Rashard Lewis guard Kevin McHale? I’m literally laughing out loud as I write this, thinking about the absurdity of even wondering whether the 1985-1986 Celtics would beat the 2009-2010 Orlando Magic.  Yes, they would beat them.  In fact, they would pound them.  They would probably beat them almost as badly as the Magic just beat the Hawks.

As well as the Magic played in the first two rounds of the playoffs, they haven’t won a single thing yet besides the right to play the Boston Celtics.  If they end up winning a championship, we can start talking about their place among the NBA’s best teams.  Even then, they won’t be anywhere close to where Cohen is saying they are.  This Magic team is a good team, very good even.  But great, historically great?

Hell no.  Josh Cohen must be thinking about the wrong 2010 Orlando Magic.

Is that a little tongue I see?

Charles Barkley, the Round Mound of Rebound and possessor of the world’s worst golf swing, thinks the Boston Celtics will beat the Miami Heat.

“I think the Celtics, they are going to be fine the first round of the playoffs,” he told the Boston Globe. “I think their age is taking its toll, but they are going to be energized and fresh for the first round of the playoffs. They’re gonna get that rush. They know that everybody has been saying they’ve been saving up all season. So the first round of the playoffs, they are going to be ready to go.”

Plus, “Dwyane Wade is playing with a bunch of Marlon Jacksons and Tito Jacksons,” Barkley said. “And quite frankly, Miami is just a decent team.”

So the Celtics, if Chuck is to be trusted, will beat Miami. After that, though, is when Sir Charles thinks things will get dicey. “They know that everybody has been saying they’ve been saving up all season. So the first round of the playoffs, they are going to be ready to go. I don’t think they are going to get older or slow down until later in the playoffs.”

Then, he says, the Celtics’ age will show and their play will deteriorate.

“The Celtics went for it, they won a championship, and now they are just an older team,” he said. “Kevin Garnett is one of my favorite players, but you can tell he’s just not the same player. Kevin Garnett played hard every single night when he was in Minnesota. He didn’t have talent [on that team] and it’s caught up with him.

“Paul Pierce is getting older. Ray Allen is clearly older. [Rajon] Rondo has had a fantastic season. But I think they went for it that one year and they won a championship.

“You can see they are not the same. Their energy level is not the same. Me and Kevin [McHale] talk about it all the time. I joke about it on the air. When you get older and people say, ‘Well, when we get healthy . . .’

“Older people die, they don’t get healthier. The Celtics have hit a wall, to be honest with you.”

I thought perhaps Barkley should have changed his quote to, “Older people don’t get healthier, they kiss me on the lips.”

Here’s how the C’s got Kevin Garnett.  This video is completely, totally, entirely, 100% accurate, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

"I can't give up KG unless you include Gerald Green in the trade."

Kevin McHale, who earlier this season cautioned Celtics fans not to worry about the C’s tendency to conserve energy during games, has lost some of his optimism. (CSNNE)

“I would say, as of today, probably not,” the former Celtic great said Sunday at an appearance at Burlington Mall when asked if Boston could win the title. “But that can change. Again, if they start catching a little bit of that wave and get that rhythm . . . how they start off that playoff series, you know, do they really get focused?

“And I think [Doc Rivers is] a very good coach. Doc will get them as ready as he can.”

Odd that McHale is optimistic while the C’s are playing poorly, then pessimistic once they start to turn things around.

Either way, whether he’s pessimistic or not, I just want to thank McHale one last time. Without his willingness to trade KG for Al Jefferson and a lump of coal, the Celtics never would have won a title, nor would they be in the conversation to win one this season.

So thanks, Kevin, even though I hope you have to eat your words.

Paul Pierce fell short of calling his team “sissies” and didn’t throw any clotheslines, but yesterday night he behaved in the mold of Larry Bird and Kevin McHale in perhaps their finest motivational moment. Read more »