Sheed’s retiring, Perk will probably miss the start of the season, and Luke Harangody won’t exactly remind anyone of Kevin McHale. As such, the C’s will need to sign at least one backup big man this offseason.

We went over the veteran big men yesterday; now it’s time for the youngsters to get some shine:

Besides being an up-and-coming center, Amir Johnson is also a dead ringer for Andre 3000.

Amir Johnson
An intriguing option. Was once overrated for his potential. Now, people might be sleeping on him as an athletic shot-blocker who runs the floor like a guard and makes a living off hustle plays. If you’re reading this blog, I probably don’t have to tell you that the Celtics are kinda old. Johnson would be a nice infusion of youth who, at 23 years old, already knows his role isn’t to score. And it’d be nice to have a backup center who’d actually try during the regular season, wouldn’t it?

Louis Amundson 
Birdman Jr. No, I’m not comparing Amundson to Lil Wayne. Think more along the lines of Chris Anderson with a pony-tail, no drug addiction, and no ink. Amundson is all heart, athleticism and energy. Like Johnson, another young athlete who knows his role. I wouldn’t mind taking an inexpensive flier on a guy like that. 

Ian Mahinmi
For years now, Mahinmi has been lauded for his potential. He’s long, strong, athletic and has been one of the best big men in D-League history (that’s got to count for something, right?). On the other hand, he’s also been a scrub for the Spurs. So what gives? Is Mahinmi still the guy with loads of potential? Or is he the player Gregg Popovich can’t trust?

Oleksiy Pecherov
He once had a great game against the Celtics. He also stinks.

Earl Barron
Another young big man who had a nice game against the C’s this year. Averaged 11 and 11 in a brief stint with the Knicks, after playing in the D-League for most of the season. I don’t mean to rain on Barron’s double-double parade, but the Knicks might have been playing in the D-League too.

Craig Smith
If you like 6’6″ power forwards built like a powerful and cut-up bowling ball, Smith is your guy. If you’re into length, not so much. Smith would help somewhere, but Big Baby already fills the role of widebody backup.

Hakim Warrick
I can still vividly remember one Warrick play from when he was at Syracuse where I said, “Wow. Dude can sky.” And it wasn’t a bucket, or even a block — it was a missed dunk. Warrick caught the ball in the post, turned and faced, realized nobody was in front of him, and jumped to dunk the ball… off two feet, from a standstill, outside the lane. The ball bounded off the back of the rim, but I’ll never forget that miss. One of the most exciting displays of athleticism I’ve ever seen. I called my friend to tell him and he couldn’t understand: ”Huh? But it was a miss.” I’m telling you, you had to be there. But that was then, this is now. Now Warrick is a skinny, frail power forward who could use a personal trainer or a cycle of steroids. And, oh yeah, he was also benched during the playoffs.

Josh Powell
If he’s not good enough to play for the L-words, let’s hope he’s not good enough to play for the Celtics either.

Anthony Tolliver
Most people probably know Tolliver because he was Amare’s Stoudemire’s most gruesome victim this past season. But he also put up some pretty decent numbers for Golden St. Granted, it was Golden St, but still.

Chris Hunter
Looks the part of an NBA big man. And, umm, well, did I say he looks the part of an NBA big man?

Randolph Morris
Morris was once one of the top players in his high school class. So was Lenny Cooke. Some people just peak at the wrong time.

Kris Humphries
At this point in his career, Humphries is probably best known for driving by Kevin Garnett a few times. That says a lot about Garnett’s health during the middle of last season, but it says even more about Humphries’ career to date. Humphries CAN score and rebound a little bit… but I don’t think he’s the final piece to the puzzle.

Shavlik Randolph
If Doc Rivers wants a player who would be less effective on the court than I would be, Randolph is his guy.

Tyrus Thomas
There’s one thing to like about Tyrus Thomas’ game: He’s very athletic. Other than that, he mostly looks like a chicken running around with his dome piece cut off. Granted, a very athletic chicken. But still.

Sean May
May was a terrific college player. He’s also last year’s winner of the “Most Inexplicably and Most Often Called a Potentially Good Player” award. May is fat, unathletic, injury-prone, and undersized. Anyone who thinks he could be good if he stays healthy probably also thinks Grizzly Adams had a beard. Wait, Grizzly Adams did have a beard? Beard or not, May has no chance to be a quality NBA player.

Jon Brockman
Along with Luke Harangody, members of the “best white college players who have no chance of making a serious impact in the NBA” First Team.

Johan Petro
Petro’s been around for so long I thought he was like 35 years old, but he’s only 24. Unfortunately for him, that doesn’t change his talent level.

If I forgot anybody (and I’m sure I probably did), a complete list of all free agents is here.

"Congrats, Rajon. Weve earned the Schuhmann stamp of approval!"

According to NBA.com’s John Schuhmann, both Rajon Rondo and Kevin Garnett should be named to the NBA’s First Team All-Defense.

Here’s what he said about Rondo:

Rondo still isn’t the most disciplined defender, but with some encouragement from Doc Rivers, he’s done a better job of staying in front of his man. With long arms, strong hands, quick feet and great anticipation, he’s always been a disruptive force in the backcourt.

The opposing point guards on our list shoot slightly below average against Boston, but the Celtics’ biggest strength defensively is forcing turnovers. And the league leader in steals is responsible for a good amount of those.

And KG:

The one defensive play by Garnett that stands out from this season is probably not one he’d like to be remembered for. Rashard Lewis drove baseline around Garnett for the game-winning bucket in the final seconds of the Magic’s 96-94 win over the Celtics on Jan. 28 in Orlando, in front of a national TNT audience. For some observers, that play summarized how the Celtics have fallen off since they won the championship two years ago.

But Boston’s problems are more about the other end of the floor. They’re still an elite defensive team, and though his mobility has been limited, Garnett is still the biggest reason why. The Celtics have allowed just 97.2 points per 100 possessions with Garnett on the floor. That’s the second lowest on-court efficiency in the league among players who have logged at least 1,200 minutes.

I’m not going to spend much time discussing Rondo.  He deserves first team, absolutely.  It isn’t just that he gets steals, it’s how he gets them, and what he does with them afterward.  He is more disruptive than any other player in the NBA, and quite possibly the quickest to loose balls.  He doesn’t just go after steals, he attacks them.  And, once he gets them, he’s headed off the other way to get his team a bucket.  He still spends a little too much time gambling, but the Celtics can live with it because of all the good that comes from his gambles.

Now, on to Garnett.  I was — how should I say this? — very surprised to see his name on Schuhmann’s first team.  If you’ve watched Garnett play this year, you know he isn’t nearly as quick as he used to be.   Once masterful at moving his feet and staying in front of people, Garnett has been roasted by the likes of Kris Humphries, Al Harrington, Rashard Lewis, and Matt Bonner this season.  KG used to be able to match up with anyone, from point guards to center, and I’m not even exaggerating.  He would pick up point guards fullcourt, then switch back onto a center and make his life miserable in the post.  And he’d play great team defense, too.

Now, the team defense is the only part of KG’s defensive repertoire that keeps him a weapon when the C’s opponent has the ball.  He’s still as good as any player in the league as a team defender.  He has unbelievably active hands, and always seems to deflect and disrupt passes in the lane.  He rotates well, shows on screens, and always seems to be in the right place to affect a play.

But can you really put someone on the First Team All-Defense team, when he struggles to stay in front of his man?  As good as KG remains as a team defender, he’s become nothing more than average when defending the ball.  He’s not as bad as certain clips would lead you to believe, but he’s far from lockdown.

And, in my opinion at least, “far from lockdown” defenders shouldn’t make First Team All-Defense, no matter how helpful they are to their teams.  At this point, Garnett’s defense is similar to Larry Bird’s in Bird’s prime:  Great help defenders, terrific position defenders, but too slow laterally to shut down the opponent’s best player.  And Larry never made better than Second Team.

It pains me to say, but Garnett isn’t as elite a defender as he used to be, and doesn’t deserve First Team honors.

Second Team?  Maybe.

The Celtics have gotten rid of their morning walkthrough, but that doesn’t mean we have to. Here are a few Celtics links, and maybe even an NBA link or two, to help wake you up and get you focused for the day.

Jimmy Toscano, CelticsBlog – “‘I didn’t say much- very little- at halftime, if anything,’ said Coach Doc Rivers. ‘I basically said, ‘I don’t think I need to talk. We’re a defensive team and tonight we want to outscore them.’ And I said, ‘Good luck.’ And that was about it.’ Well, as short as the message was, it was loud and clear to the team as they came out in the second half with a little more energy and tenacity. After shooting at 63% clip in the first half, the Nets were held to a measly 29% from the field in the second half, scoring a total of 32 points. ‘I think it was just one of those games where we weren’t getting stops defensively, weren’t talking, weren’t communicating; we just weren’t doing our jobs individually and collectively as a team on the defensive end,’ said Eddie House. ‘I think when we came in and saw they were shooting 63%, we made a conscious effort to make it a little harder for them and everybody was just taking care of their man and just rebounding the basketball.’”

Frank Dell’Apa, Boston Globe – “With Celtics coach Doc Rivers limiting Allen’s minutes, the Celtics relied on House to provide a perimeter threat. That did not happen in the first half, as House missed all four of his shots and went scoreless. It did in the final quarter, as House scored 10 points. ‘First half, I think I was kind of rushing shots,’ House said. ‘I took some quick ones, I just tried to let the game come to me in the second half – when I get my shot, made sure it was in rhythm, wasn’t rushed, took my time with it, and knocked it down. It’s like the shots I’ve been getting all season. I’m just sticking with it – never lose confidence and keep shooting the basketball. As long as we win, all I’m trying to do is help the team win. So, if you get looks in the fourth, or you get them in the first, I try to make all my shots. When you get shots in the fourth you definitely want to make them.’”

A. Sherrod Blakely, CSNNE – “‘Eddie making shots bailed us out,” Rivers said. And as House continued to make one shot after another, the C’s kept doing all they could to get him the ball. ‘Feed the pig, whoever has it going,’ said Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo.”

Dave D’Alessandro, New Jersey Star Ledger – “They played aggressively, they made their own breaks, they actually attacked Kevin Garnett at their best moments, and they went punch-for-punch with a title contender. Basically, the Nets went into TD Garden and played like they belonged in the building. Then the fourth quarter started. You know the rest. The Boston Celtics, who take defense pretty seriously, loafed through their assignments for three quarters before strangling the Nets over the last 12 minutes to register a 96-87 victory Friday night.”

Julian Benbow, Boston Globe – Doc Rivers: “‘I told them before the game that we should win the game; I’m not going to blow smoke and create some illusion that’s not there. I said, having said that, the only way you can do that is you have to execute our system. And if we don’t, then anybody can win the game. It’s called basketball. It’s a competition. And I thought from the middle of the third quarter on, we did that.’”

Mark Murphy, Boston Herald – “‘Lackluster,’ Wallace said of last night’s defensive effort. ‘We didn’t pick it up probably until the six- or seven-(minute) mark in the fourth. But what my high school coach once said was true – winners find a way to win. We dug it out, they kept it close the whole game, and we just pulled it out in the last minute.’ That, right now, is the problem. A Celtics opponent shot better than 60 percent in the first half for the second straight game, but this time that opponent didn’t have Miami star Dwyane Wade. Instead, players like Brook Lopez (19 points) and Devin Harris (17) made the biggest threats. The Nets, despite the supposed drop in frontcourt talent, outscored the Celtics in the paint, 34-32.”

Chris Forsberg, ESPNBoston – “‘Tonight, we didn’t come out with that that killer mentality to destroy them in the the first half,’ said Garnett. ‘I thought that, collectively, as the quarters went on, we increased the intensity defensively… When we started the game, we didn’t come out with that energy to just get them out of here. You look at the game in New Jersey, the tone was set right away. Defensively, guys’ hands were active. You could see the energy there, but tonight it wasn’t the same.’ Rondo stressed that New Jersey’s 4-44 record had nothing to do with underestimating them or not bringing the necessary energy. ‘Last time, we did a great job coming out there early and attacking them,’ said Rondo. ‘We were setting the tone, and our guys got to sit in the fourth. That is not an excuse. We just didn’t come out with the right energy or right effort tonight.’”

Mark Murphy, Boston Herald – “The man who is expected to make this ride a long one couldn’t elevate to convert a third-quarter alley-oop pass from Rajon Rondo. This Hall of Fame-caliber defender was taken to the hole by Kris Humphries – yes, Kris Humphries. But Garnett, despite continuing to favor his right leg, wrote his problems off to a one-night brain cramp. ‘I was OK – I made some misreads,’ he said. ‘Kris Humphries made a couple of baskets on me and I wasn’t too happy about that. Defensively you have to know what you are going to do when picks come, talking for guys like Rondo and Ray (Allen). I messed up a couple of times. I am human. I will get better at that, but right now my focus is on rebounding better and continuing to talk,’ said Garnett. ‘I did miss some assignments tonight, which is something I don’t usually do.’”

Have a link I might want to look at? Send it my way by email (jayking@celticstown.com) or Twitter.

I had to put a wager on tonight’s Celtics-Nets game with my friend. I just had to.

Otherwise, it might have been brutally boring to watch. Frankly, I’m sure it will still be boring to watch.

I can already tell you right now, there are two ways the game could go. Either 1) Boston plays well and blows the Nets out like they did last time, or 2) Boston plays indifferently, allowing New Jersey to hang around for far longer than Doc Rivers would enjoy. No matter what happens, the game probably won’t be very scintillating. Either a blowout, or a slopfest. Yuck.

Thus, my bet. If I’m going to watch a bad game of basketball, I might as well have a friendly wager on it. If Boston’s winning by a lot, I’ll be happy; my bet will be won. If they’re mired in a game too close to call and too ugly to watch, I’ll be pissed at the Green Team for doing their best to screw me out of some money, and all wired up to see whether I win. Either way, watching the game will be less excruciating with some money on the line.

Still, let’s just say I’m not as excited for tonight’s game as I am for Sunday’s rematch with Orlando. Sorry, but watching a 4-44 team halfheartedly pretend to try to win isn’t my idea of a perfect Friday night. I’d rather complete my emasculation — which began when I knowingly looked at Greg Oden’s nude pictures — by attending the premier of Dear John.

Okay, maybe Dear John is pushing it. The second coming of The Notebook doesn’t exactly sound like my cup of tea. But watching Kris Humphries and Jarvis Hayes play a combined 50 minutes doesn’t exactly suit me either. Neither does Devin Harris mailing in yet another game. Or seeing Chris Quinn on an NBA court.

You want to know just how bad it’s gotten for New Jersey? Assistant coach Del Harris packed up his bags and left. Quit. During the middle of a season. Yahoo! Sports “claims” he left because he was told he wouldn’t be considered for the head coaching job this offseason, but I know the real reason…

You couldn’t pay Harris enough to continue watching the Nets play basketball from the front row.

Unlike Harris, I can be paid enough to watch New Jersey. If everything goes according to plan, the Celtics will win tonight and I’ll rake in 20 bucks.

If the plan goes awry? I will be down 100 banjos, and the Celts will have the most embarrassing loss of the season.

Can you believe my friend was dumb enough to take the Nets with 5-1 odds?