If the Minnesota Timberwolves had not selected Ray Allen with the 5th pick of the 1996 NBA Draft, Allen said yesterday, Red Auerbach had committed to selecting Allen with the 6th pick.

Allen had only worked out for the top four teams in that draft, but the top four picks came and went without the UConn sharpshooter being picked. That left just one selection standing between Allen and the Celtics.

“I’m sitting with my family on draft day,” explained Allen during a speaking engagement at UConn, “and I’m ecstatic because before I came downstairs to the draft, I spoke to Red Auerbach. And he said, ‘If you come up at six, we got you.’ So in my mind, I was like, ‘Yes.’ I could still stay on (UConn’s) campus. I could play in Boston. I’m not leaving New England. That was my hope and my desire because I wanted to stay here, because fans in New England have been so great to me.

“So the 5th pick came and cameras came over to my table and Minnesota was picking, and my head dropped. How was this happening? I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even take a visit to Minnesota. I was like, ”They’re not following my rules.’ And unbeknownst to me, they could do whatever they want because they’re picking. And they picked me at the 5th pick, and I was very, very hot that day. I was getting drafted, but I was very, very hot. And then on draft day, I came back to the stage and I got traded to Milwaukee. And I was doing media for about five minutes, and I was speaking to everybody in Minnesota, and they were asking me what did I think about going to Minnesota, and what was it going to be like playing with their guys, and I was still mad. I was like, ‘Who’s in Minnesota?’ ”

Umm,  Kevin Garnett. But back then, he was only just an inexperienced pup — a pitbull pup, but still a pup.

Ray Allen just wanted to stay in New England. But it’s probably for the best that he didn’t — Chris Wallace probably would have traded Allen for, I don’t know, Tony Delk and Rodney Rogers or something.

(h/t Red’s Army)

Paul Pierce reportedly suffered an asthma attack while playing for the Kentucky Bisons in the Chinese Intercontinental Basketball Championship, according to the sports website NuiBBall.com.

A report from NetEase says Pierce and teammate Michael Beasley both suffered asthma attacks due to the amount of cigarettes being smoked in the arena. Ironic, no — Michael Beasley suffering an asthma attack from inhaling too much smoke?

Beasley reportedly later suffered some sort of weird injury or illness in his hotel room, falling to the floor and rolling around in pain. An ambulance was called and Beasley was taken to the hospital.

That would not be poor Beasley’s only trip to the hospital while in China. Some time during the final game, he hurt his wrist. Not appreciating the extent of the injury, Beasley participated in a dunk contest after the game. He hammered down two dunks but woke up the following morning in enough pain to return to the hospital, where his injury was determined a likely fracture.

Pierce didn’t have all of Beasley’s bad luck, but The Truth’s trip, at least from a basketball standpoint, didn’t go as planned. The Bisons lost to Cairns Taipans 88-63 in what I believe was the tournament semifinals, and Pierce and Beasley were reportedly underwhelming. Or they did not play at all due to physical discomfort, depending on which report you trust. Chinese reporting, being that it is in Chinese and translates rather poorly, is cryptic and difficult to follow.

It seems that Pierce and Beasley suffered from asthma during the semifinals game. Though reports differ as to whether they actually played, the Cairns Taipan team blog describes Pierce and Beasley’s play as unimpressive.

“As expected the crowd went crazy for NBA superstars Paul Pierce and Michael Beasley,” wrote the blog, “but they would be quickly quietened by a tenacious Taipans defense.”

After a first half in which Pierce and Beasley were reportedly “kept well under control” (remember, this is the Cairns Taipans team blog, so judge the veracity for yourself) and the Bisons fell behind 43-19, Pierce and Beasley were said to show signs of life.

“The Americans did lift in the second with their NBA stars showing some signs of brilliance; however the boys were never going to give an inch and still claimed the half by a point to ensure the 88 to 63 victory,” wrote the team blog.

Unrelated to anything, the team blog also described an earlier win as “a great win where the group learnt much from the experience, mainly to never use public toilets in China.”

Pierce played only 14 minutes in the consolation game and mustered three points on 1-4 shooting. It’s unclear how well he felt, but with that Marquis Danielsian statline, I would assume he was not feeling 100%.

A win, and a necessary one. But rarely do necessary wins leave me feeling so unsatisfied.

The Celtics barely had enough to outlast Minnesota, on a night when Kevin Love didn’t play, Michael Beasley needed 28 shots to score 28 points, Anthony Randolph showed Anthony Randolph’s bad side, and the Timberwolves (starting Luke Ridnour and Darko Milicic, among other players who may or may not deserve to play minutes in the NBA) shot only 37.5%. So much went wrong for the Timberwolves—they missed open shots, spotted the Celtics 25 points, have very few legitimate NBA players, and are coached by Kurt Rambis. Yet there the Wolves were, taking a fourth-quarter lead, giving the Celtics everything they could handle.

Give Minnesota some credit; Anthony Tolliver played his rump off, Beasley can create shots with ease (sometimes superbly tough ones, which he should probably live without), Darko (though not quite a “manna from heaven”) might have been the best big man on the court (non-Tolliver division), and Anthony Randolph flirted with Mikki Moore’s unofficial record for “quickest NBA player to three fouls.” But Boston’s necessary win tonight, or near-loss, or blown 25-point lead, or whatever the hell you want to call it, was due almost entirely to the Celtics’ bad play. Nothing the Timberwolves did was special, or even very good.

But the Celtics? They again looked like my younger brother, trying to dance at the first Bar Mitzvah he ever attended—they just have no rhythm, especially offensively. There’s no urgency to their offense. There’s no energy. They aren’t setting hard screens. They aren’t cutting with a purpose. There isn’t enough attacking, there isn’t enough ball movement, and if I see one more shot clock violation I might send an anonymous letter to Doc Rivers, a letter that would only say: “Please remind your players they only have 24 seconds to shoot the basketball.”

I never felt like the C’s were taking particularly bad shots tonight (except for a couple times when Glen Davis lost his mind, including once when he decided a 360 layup was the way to go). They got decent looks, and missed some open shots. But there’s a good look, and there’s a good look in rhythm. And the two are very different. When the Celtics were thriving, and they were shooting better than 50% almost every single night, and Rondo was getting obscene assist numbers, the offense was like a machine. Everyone set hard screens, Rondo (or whoever else) penetrated aggressively to the paint, Rondo (or whoever else) kicked out to someone in rhythm for a jumper, then the jumper went in. It looked so simple, so beautiful, because the whole team was on the same page. There just isn’t that same rhythm now. Back to the Bar Mitzvah, the Celtics are the 7th-grader stepping awkwardly on some girl’s toes.

I could discuss Doc Rivers sitting on the bench, looking like his wife just filed for a divorce. I could discuss one timeout Rivers called, seemingly with the sole intent of verbally berating Nenad Krstic. I could discuss the swift fall of Krstic’s play, or the fact that Krstic was blocked nineteen million times tonight, or the one play when Krstic and Davis both defended Milicic on one side of the paint while Jonny Flynn sat uncovered underneath the hoop, caught a pass, and scored a layup on the other. I could discuss Davis’s “15 shots to score eight points” performance, or the Celtics getting outrebounded by the Minnesota Timberwolves, or Paul Pierce’s six turnovers and 2-8 three-point shooting.

But why would I do all that? Pierce came through down the stretch, Delonte West grabbed a hell of an offensive rebound, and the Celtics won. And even though it wasn’t pretty, the NBA standings don’t take game film into account.

In other words, a win’s a win. Or, at least, that’s what I keep trying to remind myself.

What in the world? Ricky Rubio wants to play for the Boston Celtics? (New York Times)

“The bottom line is, why would he want to play in Minnesota?” a senior member of Rubio’s camp said this month. “He’ll continue to say all the diplomatic things, and Minnesota needs to keep his value up for trade purposes, but the family’s preference is to be on the East Coast, specifically New York, Miami or Boston. He wouldn’t be troubled if he has to stay another year.”

The senior member of Rubio’s camp makes a valid point: why the hell would Rubio want to play in Minnesota? For the weather? I don’t think so. The talent? Umm, not exactly. The general manager? KAAAAHHHHNNNN!!!!

There’s nothing about Minnesota that’s even a little enticing. Unfortunately for Rubio, he doesn’t have much of a choice. The Timberwolves hold his exclusive draft rights, and, if Rubio wants to play in the NBA next year, it’ll have to be with Minnesota — or the team to which Minnesota trades him.

And Rubio’s trade stock isn’t exactly booming. After what was widely considered a letdown FIBA World Championships (by “widely considered a letdown,” I mean Rubio shot 28% from the field while starting for the underachieving Spain team), Rubio’s play has regressed even in his own league. He’s now shooting 32% from the field, or, for those of you who want a reference point, far worse than Allen Iverson ever dreamed of. For another reference point, Rubio shot more than 40% last season. He’s supposed to improve with age, but Rubio’s development is in reverse.

And oh yeah, Rubio playing in Boston doesn’t exactly make sense. Don’t the Celtics have some other point guard who’s pretty good?

Now, I have to admit, I’m still fascinated by Rubio’s game. That’s the only reason I even blogged this story when I still believe the percentage of seeing Rubio in Boston is zero. Rubio’s like Pistol Pete, if Pistol Pete had been reincarnated with a pure point guard’s mentality and a drunken sailor’s jump shot. I have a full-fledged man crush with the wiry Spaniard who whips no-look passes for pure enjoyment, and a couple months of 32% shooting won’t deter that. Rubio’s the only player in the world who I could picture matching Blake Griffin highlight for highlight. I’m not even kidding.

That said, I bet the T-Wolves are happy they spent the 5th pick on someone who may never play for their franchise and no longer holds impressive trade value. I mean, it’s not like Darren Collison, Brandon Jennings, Steph Curry and Rodrigue Beaubois were all still on the board or anything. Wait…

Clutch.

Luke Ridnour looped around a screen and cut through the paint, one long step after the next. The lane was wide open, and nobody was there to stop him, and a late, one-point Celtics lead was about to be flipped upside down. Except Ridnour took one big step too many, and Ray Allen soared in like a miniature Bill Russell to swat away a shot that didn’t even count.

The block resounded in the Garden rafters, and, though it didn’t count, symbolized the late-game Celtics run. Through most of the game Kevin Love played volleyball off the backboard, Michael Beasley did his best impression of a late-game killer, and the Celtics looked lost. But when it counted, when these Celtics really needed to elevate their play at winning time, they made every play necessary, escaping the TD Garden with a 96-93 win.

Of course, that’s the sunny side of looking at things. There was also a much gloomier side, mostly having to do with rebounding. When Kevin Love rebounds the ball only six fewer times than your entire team, it’s time to look at yourselves in the mirror. I don’t care if Kevin Garnett didn’t play, and I don’t care that Kevin Love is to rebounding what Boy Meets World is to children’s shows. The C’s still possess more than enough size (I’m looking at you, O’Neal brothers and Glen Davis) to rebound the basketball.

But the past few games have been a running clinic in how NOT to rebound. No Celtic big man grabbed more than three caroms tonight (congratulations, Jermaine O’Neal — you were the least shitty big man rebounder on the Celtics). Von Wafer — yes, Von Wafer — and Paul Pierce led the Celtics in rebounding, with six apiece. Next was Rajon Rondo, with four boards. The big men, though? Pathetic. In every sense of the word. There will be more teams that are Kevin Love’d this season, of course. But the Celtics, with all their size and experience, should never be subjected to such a poor showing on the glass. Even if KG’s injured.

There were other aspects of tonight’s game, of course. Von Wafer was one major bright spot, and I find myself thinking that — by the time this season’s all said and done — he could become a huge cog off the bench. At the very least, he’s now proving himself capable of playing legitimate basketball. Nate Robinson was one major dark spot, as I continuously find myself marveling at his seesaw nature.

But I’ll save my other thoughts for tomorrow. For now, just remember a gritty win that shouldn’t have needed to be so gritty. These Celtics are now showing the effects of cumulative injuries, and I don’t want to get used to gutting out wins versus Minnesota. Even if Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo hit plenty of clutch jumpers to help seal the deal.

Kevin Garnett’s top ten plays from his time with the Minnesota Timberwolves. FYI, play number three is going to look eerily familiar.