I miss Nenad Krstic.

Not necessarily anything about Krstic in particular, although his offensive game sometimes proved stimulating, his hairline was ever enjoyable, and the nickname Curly cracked me up every time. I just miss being able to watch basketball, to judge new players, to analyze and sometimes over-analyze players that have been with the Celtics for years, and others that have been with the Celtics for weeks. I miss that Krstic’s shots floated gently to the rim, and yes, I even miss that his box-outs were somehow more gentle than that. I miss that he once scored 20 points and nine rebounds yet I still abused him in the game recap because his help defense (if you could call it that) contributed to DeAndre Jordan’s 27,839 dunks (estimation). I miss the stages of rooting for Krstic last season:

1) ugh, he’ll never be Perk

2) awesome, he’s not Perk!

3) damn it, he’s not Perk

4) awesome, he’s not Glen Davis!

5) but still, he’s not Perk

The NBA is hibernating, who knows when it will wake up, and for now I’m stuck missing Nenad Krstic, even though I never loved (or even really liked) his game in the first place. The lockout has my emotions spinning like Barry Zito’s curveball in 2002, dancing like an in-his-prime Tim Wakefield’s knuckleball (can somebody buy that man a win?), and going up and down like Steve Nash’s handle. Optimism has leaked out of the NBA’s latest round of meetings,  but still, powerful agent Bill Duffy said, “It seems like the sides are really far apart.”

If you follow me on Twitter, you saw me ask the question, “If the NBA and its players are actually optimistic about the lockout, um, then why are players still signing overseas?” The conversation eventually turned to J.R. Smith, who is reportedly close to signing a $3 million deal to play in China, where his contract will not include a lockout clause. If you believe in the lockout optimism, Smith’s deal is head-scratching: even if he believed signing in China would increase his endorsement potential, why would Smith sign for $3 million in China when his market value in the NBA is presumably higher, possibly even much higher?

Kelly Dwyer noted the possibility that Smith may need money immediately to cover his substantial bills, and that’s entirely possible. But there’s also this: an escrow check totaling approximately $480,000 will soon come in Smith’s mail. If the NBA season were to start on time, it would start next month. That $480,000 is not significantly less than Smith’s monthly pay last season, $563, 154.25 (his yearly contract divided by twelve) — if Smith believed the season were going to start on time, his escrow check should be enough to tide him over. Maybe Smith is just keeping his options open by participating in contract dialogue with the Chinese Basketball Association. Maybe he does need money, he needs a sure thing, and the lockout talks sound optimistic but he just can’t chance it. Or maybe J.R. Smith and his agent, who presumably know more about the labor talks than I do, are afraid the NBA season won’t start on time.

That possibility, no matter how strong, freaks me out. Hell, I already miss Nenad Krstic.

If the NBA misses a significant amount of games, the Celtics stand to be among the biggest losers. A lost season could end the Big Three era, and a shortened season could prove nearly as harmful — a shortened season would result in more back-to-back games, which would result in broken down veteran bodies, which would result in extra losses and injuries and the lack of homecourt advantage in the playoffs. The Celtics were a very good team last year, but they were undressed by Miami in the second round. Best-case scenario in 2011-12, the Celtics use their limited (read: zero) cap space to reload their bench, the new bench alleviates pressure from the Big Three, the Fantastic Four all enter the playoffs healthy, Rajon Rondo takes the next step toward becoming consistently great, and Jermaine O’Neal and Big Man X provide an inside presence the broken-down O’Neal duo couldn’t last season. But the 2011-12 Celtics are like a Jenga tower. The Celtics need every block in the right spot to remain contenders next season. If a lockout causes any harm at all, if one block falls out of place, the Jenga tower will collapse and the Celtics will peter of out the playoffs too early.

Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are all noted professionals with impressive work ethics, but time keeps ticking into the future, and the 1999 NBA lockout hit veterans with a haymaker that some couldn’t survive. Vin Baker was third-team All-NBA the year before the lockout, an overweight alcoholic when the NBA returned. Shawn Kemp was a walking highlight film the year before the lockout, a cautionary tale after it. The Big Three aren’t likely to return with a beer belly or a substance abuse problem, but they don’t need to: if the lockout even causes one of the Big Three to lose a single step, the Jenga tower could come to a swift crash and the Big Three Era could evaporate into the NBA annals with barely a whisper.

For now, we don’t know when the NBA will rise from its deep sleep. We don’t know when we’ll get another glimpse of Garnett’s volcanic eyes, Pierce’s calculated precision, Ray’s baby powder jump shot, or Rondo’s one-step-ahead-of-you creativity.

All we know is uncertainty. We hear recent optimism, but it’s sprinkled with pessimism, and when J.R. Smith signs a deal in China, we wonder whether that’s more a sign about the NBA lockout or Smith’s bank account.

And meanwhile, I miss Nenad Krstic. Make it end.

Nenad Krstic officially signed with the Russian team CSKA Moscow today, a two-year deal that will expire after the 2012-’13 season. ESPN’s Chris Forsberg reports the contract contains no buyout clause for Krstic to return to the NBA, effectively ending any hopes that he might return to the Celtics at some point next season.

It’s official! The captain of the national team of Serbia, Nenad Krstic, signed a two-year contract with CSKA Moscow, until the end of the 2012-2013 season. After seven years in the NBA — with the New Jersey Nets, Oklahoma City Thunder and Boston Celtics, averaging 10.0 points, 5.4 rebounds in 25.2 minutes in 419 regular-[season] games, and 10.4 points, 5.4 rebounds in 25.2 minutes in playoff games — the center decided to come back to Europe to compete at the highest level to win the Euroleague.

Taken in a vacuum, the Nenad Krstic loss would not hurt much. After all, he spent most of his time last season providing fodder for European stereotypes, and specifically the stereotype, “European big men are quite soft and do not appreciate defense.” With the notable exception of Game 5 against Miami (when Krstic played well enough to prompt questions about whether he should have earned Glen Davis’s playing time sooner), Krstic started his Boston career with a bang before fading into mediocrity and worse. By the end of the season, after Krstic became oddly hesitant on both sides of the court, I felt I could count on him for one thing and one thing only: allowing open layups (and dunks) to opposing big men.

The problem for the Celtics is that Krstic’s loss does not come in a vacuum. It comes amid the retirement of Shaquille O’Neal, the likely departure of Glen Davis, and the continued instability of Jermaine O’Neal’s (deteriorating) body. Jermaine, as I write this sentence, remains Boston’s only center. Kevin Garnett makes the only other big man on Boston’s roster, though I suppose some would argue Jeff Green’s ability to play the four (to which I would respond that his “ability to play the four” often ends with bad results, and to which I would also respond that he’s a free agent, albeit a restricted one).

Whether or not you believe in Green’s power forward-ability, and whether or not he re-signs in Boston, the Celtics have a startling dearth of big men entering tomorrow night’s draft. This is where I will remind you that not only did Danny Ainge trade Kendrick Perkins, but he also traded Semih Erden and Luke Harangody for a box of trading cards and a bag of chips. As you can tell, I’m still a little bitter.

Now Krstic has walked away, and the lack of a buyout clause in his contract means he will not return. Rather than expecting Jermaine O’Neal to play 48 minutes in each of next season’s 82 games, the Celtics will make big men a priority in the draft, free agency and trades. You know, unless they want to enter opening night with Avery Bradley as their backup center. Unluckily for the Celtics, quality big men are often the toughest players to find. Re-signing Glen Davis looks more attractive by the day. Doh.

The Celtics might have dodged a couple bullets. Everything about those two injuries initially screamed “season-ending.” That said, any Shaq diagnosis should be ingested with a metric ton of salt.

One big man back, another injured. So it goes for the Boston Celtics.

Nenad Krstic became the latest to go down last night, with what the Celtics fear might have been a torn right ACL. He’ll undergo an MRI on Saturday to determine the severity of the injury, and will be sidelined in the meantime. (ESPN Boston)

“I don’t know,” coach Doc Rivers said when asked about the severity of the injury. “He’s out, obviously, this weekend, then an MRI. That’s as far as I’m going to go.”

Krstic’s career has been plagued by injuries. He tore his left ACL in 2006 and has only played more than 47 games twice in the past five seasons (last season and this season).

If there was a silver lining to the injury, at least Jermaine O’Neal looked good in his return to the court. (ESPN Boston)

“That’s crazy, I told [Jermaine O'Neal] he came back right on time,” said captain Paul Pierce. “We need him. We need these bodies late in the season. Hopefully Krstic is not too hurt and he’ll be back in a few days or a week or however long he takes, but we want to be healthy going into the playoffs, bottom line. It’s good to get [O'Neal] back in here and he looked good out there. I told him he moved well. You talk about a guy who hadn’t played in two or three months. That’s a big start.”

Everybody beware of flying chairs: Nenad Krstic is pissed. (Boston Globe)

“I’m back in my rookie year,” Krstic said. “When I was a rookie I didn’t get many calls. So I feel like the same thing right now. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’m playing with great players. I don’t know. I really don’t have an explanation.

“Those couple minutes, you’re frustrated, but then you try to forget about it. It affects you, especially this situation for me when Coach is stressing for me to do everything right and just to relax and play, then you don’t get calls. It’s tough.

“You can’t control it. You can’t get frustrated, but those things I can get a technical called for arguing with the referees. It’s tough.”

When I began writing this post, I had one goal: just don’t make any “the only thing worse than a soft big man is a soft big man who complains about foul calls” jokes. Because Krstic doesn’t need that. Fans have already started to turn on him. Doc Rivers has been disappointed by his play. And now he’s got the refs conspiring against him, too? The poor guy!

So no, I won’t say he’s been playing like a seven feet tall, mustached woman, and I won’t say he should shut his mouth and just go up strong. I won’t do it. Even if that’s how I really feel.

Will this all come down to Shaq? Is he the key to Boston’s playoff success? To their title hopes? To their interior physicality? To enforcing the “no layup rule” Kendrick Perkins has already brought with him to Oklahoma City? To defending Dwight Howard, Andrew Bynum, and Joakim Noah? Is anybody else petrified of this possibility?

“It’s a good question, and I don’t know the answer,” Rivers said of whether his team can bring back the Perkins element to their game without the big guy, himself. “I really don’t. We don’t have Shaq (O’Neal) yet. We get that when he’s on the floor. But we don’t have him or (Jermaine O’Neal). Perk is a menacing-looking dude. Last night he was tossing bodies left to right. It was awesome. That’s just who Perk is.”

Nenad Krstic started his Celtics career like Perk would hardly be missed. After one game early in the Krstic era, my buddy (who’s actually quite knowledgeable about all things basketball) texted me, “I’m not overreacting, I swear. But isn’t Krstic a poor man’s Kevin McHale, only if McHale looked like a seven-foot Luigi (editor’s note: from Mario Bros.)?” Yes, definitely!… if by poor man’s Kevin McHale, you mean “please, don’t ever let me insult Kevin McHale like this again.”

In reality, Krstic is what we thought he was—a tall, mustached, talented offensive player who lacks the physical edge to intimidate anyone, or even to stop most opponents from scoring. Krstic has played 13 games for the Celtics. In that time, I can remember him allowing quite a few dunks. But I don’t remember a single time he gave a hard foul. Not once. Maybe I’m forgetting something, maybe not. The point is, Krstic doesn’t provide the type of interior toughness the Celtics will need come playoff time—with Krstic in the starting lineup, the lineup allows more points per possession than with any other center. Krstic can still help, because he can play. But I don’t feel comfortable with Krstic playing starter’s minutes.

Maybe I’m worrying too much about Krstic. As Doc Rivers has repeatedly shown this season, Glen Davis will finish most games. And Davis will play defense. The Celtics’ defense is actually significantly better when Davis (rather than Krstic, Perkins or Shaq) joins the Fab Four. Davis will throw his 300-pound body around, he’ll take charges, and he’ll provide the type of presence Krstic won’t (can’t?). He has even shown he can do a nice job on Dwight Howard, using his low center of gravity (that’s a euphemism for, “He’s fat, guys”) to force Howard into tough shots. But if the C’s play the Lakers (who are suddenly steam-rolling their way through the NBA), Davis’ lack of length could prove troublesome. Which is why the Celtics could need Shaq.

Unfortunately, Shaq hasn’t played since the day before Groundhog’s Day, and has only played 36 games this season. He was initially out “day-to-day”, but that turned into “he’ll be back in a week,” which turned into “he’ll be back in another week,” which turned into “just one more week, guys,” which turned into “he’s out indefinitely,” which has now turned into “he might return tonight, but really, we have no flipping idea.”

Initially, nobody seemed concerned. When asked about Shaq’s injury shortly after February 1, Doc laughed. “He’s old,” he said. Now, Doc’s tune has changed. “Obviously,” he said two days ago, “the clock is ticking with Shaq and J.O.”

Shaq himself admitted to some trepidation. “You get nervous? Yeah, a little bit,” he said. Though calling his return “real close” and saying he would return this season no matter what, Shaq added a qualifier: “even if I have to shoot it up.” I don’t know about you guys, but the words “even if I have to shoot it up” don’t exactly sound reassuring.

Anything less than an NBA championship this year would be a failure. And even though Glen Davis is Boston’s Stone Cold Stunner—err, their finisher—I still wonder whether Shaq’s health is essential; and the possibility that it is scares me far more than Paranormal Activity 2 did.

Pray for health, I guess.