For those of you wondering, THIS is what it looks like when someone does chin-ups with his nuts resting on Amir Johnson’s neck.

And yes, this dunk was from two days ago. It’s worth the wait, no?

Trip dub, son.

Every time the Celtics took a shot, it seemed, they scored a bucket. The problem for the first half of tonight’s game against the New York Knicks was that the Celtics weren’t taking enough shots. Turnover-itis, that wretched disease Tony Allen left behind when he left for Memphis, was rearing its ugly head. Thank God, the second half was a different story.

The Celtics finally took care of the ball, Rajon Rondo found open teammates like they were marked with neon yellow pennies, and the Celtics pulled away for a not-as-close-as-the-final-score 105-101 victory.

Rondo was obscene. Back when I was in college, I was addicted to NBA 2k10. I created my own player, a pass-first point guard, and I was obsessed with piling up my assist total. I would pass up great looks just to find open players. I’d make sure that every point my team scored was assisted by Jay King. I’m telling you, my created player averaged almost 40 assists that year. He broke Scott Skiles’s NBA assist record every single game. And that’s what Rondo reminded me of tonight: Jay King, the 2010 NBA 2k10 MVP.

Rondo didn’t register an assist every possession; it only seemed like it. Sure, there was the occasional gift assist from the home scorer (including one especially egregious one when Garnett received a Rondo pass, made about three post moves and then scored), but Rondo found an open teammate almost every possession. He dropped dimes any way you can conceive of — wraparound passes, kickouts to shooters, lobs over the top, whatever pass was necessary. Rondo’s eyes were wide open and his head was on a swivel, and Raymond Felton or Landry Fields certainly couldn’t do anything to stop him. And oh yeah: in between all those 24 assists, Rondo somehow found time to notch a triple-double. Sitting on my couch, I almost broke out in an impromptu M-V-P chant.

As stunning as his performance was, Rondo wants more. He expects even better. When asked by Greg Dickerson about his great distributing, Rondo replied: “To who: them, or us?” He knows he turned the ball over too often, calling his first half the worst half he’d ever played for the Celtics. Last year, it stopped being enough for Rondo to play well — he had to dominate. This year, even dominating isn’t enough — he’s in search of perfection.

The Celtics outrebounded the Knicks 54-38, out-assisted them 33-24, and outshot them 48.4% to 43.5%. They got huge games from Paul Pierce (25 points, 14 rebounds), Kevin Garnett (24 points, 10 rebounds), Glen Davis (16 points, 6 rebounds), and — of course — Rondo (10 points, 24 assists, 10 rebounds). Only the early slew of turnovers, and a late, mostly insignificant run that cut an 11-point lead to two over the final minute and a half, kept the final score close.

Pierce, Garnett and Davis were phenomenal, but there can be no mistaking that this was Rondo’s night. 24 assists, damn. My created player would be proud.

• Game Notes:
  • Shaq left the court with some sort of injury. The extent of his injury was not known, but Doc Rivers said Shaq didn’t look good. And Shaq? He said Amare hit his “right fibula head.” Oh.
  • Jermaine O’Neal underwent an MRI after the Cleveland game. No damage was found, but O’Neal will need time to rest. My thoughts? After that game, he definitely needed an MRI.
  • After fighting Delonte West after today’s practice, Von Wafer played 2:36. His highlight? An airball from the corner. I wonder what hurt more: a Delonte West punch or that airball.

Apologies for the late preview tonight. My mom burned her hand in the oven and now has a golf ball-sized blister that prohibits her from any driving (it’s okay if the thought makes you sick), so I’ve doubled as the family taxi today.

The injury caused my mom so much pain that she vomited, and she now has to wear an ace bandage for a few days, but do you want to know the worst part about the accident? The meal she was making at the time wasn’t even very good. If she’d been preparing her world-famous mac-and-cheese, the golf ball-sized blister would have been worth it. But that gross Frittata definitely wasn’t worth the second-degree burn. (The burn, by the way, is almost as disgusting as Tony Allen’s jumper.)

Anyway, the Celtics have a game tonight against the New York Knicks. Jermaine O’Neal will be inactive due to a sore knee, and — I’ll put it as nicely as I can – I can’t tell whether that’s a good or bad sign for the Celtics. Even without Jermaine it’s important that the C’s bounce back from Wednesday’s loss, if only to ease everyone’s panic. Losing to Cleveland evoked enough painful memories of last season. Losing to New York, at home, with a day of rest, might cause some fans to enter full-blown panic mode.

You don’t want that, Celtics, so do us a favor and win. Here are three keys to help you do just that:

1. Pound the ball inside – Amare Stoudemire defends with the tenacity of a teddy bear. Timofey Mozgov is an untested rookie. Anthony Randolph couldn’t defend the leather chair I’m sitting on. And the Celtics just happen to have the NBA’s deepest, biggest frontcourt. They should be able to own the glass and paint all night long.

2. Ride Semih Erden (Pause) - Erden’s a magician — the Turk turns water into four lokos. Okay, maybe he’s not really that good. But I’m excited to see what he can do with his first real action. He should play a solid number of minutes with O’Neal out.

3. Hit some threes – When the Celtics are at their most dangerous, they’re draining outside shots. Against Cleveland, the Celtics hit only three trifectas. Ray Allen, I’m looking at you.

P.S. – Von Wafer denied getting in a fight with Delonte West, then denied tweeting about it afterward. Umm, Von? We know you were in a fight today. No need to lie about it, bro.

Robinson has been more aggressive going to the tin. (AP Photo)

I can tell you exactly when I knew the Celtics were going to win tonight’s game against the Knicks, but you might not believe me.

They were losing 59-50 in the third quarter, and had looked listless to that point. It was the second night of a preseason back-to-back, and the Celtics didn’t have the spark they normally do. But Kevin Garnett had just hit an and-one, and there was something about his reaction, something about the way veins popped out of his neck as he screamed and clapped and hopped around and most definitely cussed. “This game is over,” I told my brother. “The Celtics are going to win this thing by at least ten points.”

The final score? 97-84, Celtics. From the time I predicted victory, the Celtics outscored the Knicks 47-25. Yet I can’t take any credit for my accurate prediction. Kevin Garnett might as well have looked me in the eye and told me the Celtics were about to turn the game around.

Garnett did a lot of the work himself, finishing with 20 points and four rebounds in only 19 minutes. I try to watch Garnett with a skeptical eye, to judge his progress harshly. When others see Garnett skying for an alley-oop, I see him four or five inches lower than he was in 2008. When others see him disrupting an opponent’s offensive sets, I wonder why he can’t create his own offense in the post. But I still had no complaints about Garnett tonight. 

He was everywhere, looking as spry as he has since that damn injury cut short his 2009 season. He looked, dare I say, like the Kevin Garnett of old, the Kevin Garnett who affects a game in zillions of different ways, the Kevin Garnett who rallies his troops with a single emotional gesture. There was one play when Garnett blocked a shot at the rim on one end, beat everyone down the floor, caught a pass from Rajon Rondo and laid it in with his left hand. The play was so beautiful, so Garnett, that I almost cried a tear of joy. Garnett won’t dominate every night anymore; those days are gone. But on the certain nights when he has a bounce in his step and a twinkle in his eye, Garnett can still raise his play to an MVP level.

On this night, Garnett carried the Celtics to victory. But he wasn’t alone. Rajon Rondo continued to pick his spots in this preseason, shooting only three times and scoring only two points, but controlled the game in other ways. When you can contribute in as many ways as Rondo does, scoring isn’t necessary every night. He dropped nine dimes and snagged eight boards, and left the whole crowd wondering, “What the hell happened?” when he dropped a no-look, left-handed pass over his head to Semih Erden.

Nate Robinson didn’t shoot well (4-14 fgs, 1-7 3-pt), but maintained his aggression. Robinson has opened up the throttle and is looking to drive to the hoop a lot more this year, using his explosiveness as a weapon. Glen Davis made a few gorgeous post moves (one athletic spin move comes to mind) and added 15 points and seven rebounds, and Paul Pierce scored an efficient 16 points and put the clamps on Danilo Gallinari once the Celtics got serious (Gallinari played well other than that stretch, during which Pierce contested every shot and forced misses).

In the battle for 15th man, Stephane Lasme had five turnovers to offset his seven points and four rebounds, and Von Wafer pitched in a solid if not spectacular eight points and five boards. Neither Lasme nor Wafer sealed a spot, but Wafer might be edging ahead because he has slowed himself down the last two games. No longer making dumb mistakes, Wafer is now letting his offensive talent shine through.

One of the characteristics that set the 2008 Celtics apart from most other teams in history was an ability to press the turbo button and leave opponents in the dust. Sitting at home on my couch, I could sense when it was about to happen. Kevin Garnett would always be the player to rev the engine with a display of emotion, a rallying cry to his teammates. Let’s blow these motherfuckers out.

Garnett would clap in his opponent’s face, or get down on all fours and bark like a dog, or pressure the opposing team’s point guard full court. No matter what Garnett chose to make his rallying cry, his message was always the same. It’s winning time, fellas. I knew immediately that the Celtics were going to win the game. The result wasn’t in question.

The last couple years, the Celtics have missed that. But not tonight. I know it was only preseason, and I know it was only against the Knicks, but it had been a long time since I watched the Celtics and knew, “They’re ready to put this game away.”

It felt damn good.

• Game Notes:
  • New Jersey native Tom Heinsohn, when told by Mike Gorman that Ronny Turiaf is fluent in five languages, said that he was fluent in two himself: “English and Jersey.”
  • Delonte West, Jermaine O’Neal and Marquis Daniels sat out tonight’s game. West is still bothered by back spasms, O’Neal bruised his hand, and Daniels complained of a sore right shoulder. None of the injuries seems too serious, although West underwent tests on his back. “We’ll know more in a couple days,” said Doc Rivers.
  • Avery Bradley missed the game, too. Rivers said Bradley might be shut down until his ankle looks better. He was limping around during his brief time in yesterday’s game.
  • Amare Stoudemire sat out for the Knicks. It was just a precaution for Stoudemire, who says he’s in the best shape of his life.

Is it possible to understand Anthony Randolph as a basketball player? Is there a way to accurately predict his future? Can we even properly measure his present? 

Randolph struggled through two up-and-down seasons in Golden St., and everyone rushed to blame coach Don Nelson for his inconsistency. Nellie yanks Randolph in and out of games so fast his neck probably hurts, was the consensus. Just give Randolph consistent minutes on the court and he’ll produce. He’s as talented as God can create a basketball player. Get him out of Golden St. and everyone will see what he can do.

Yet here we are in New York. Nellie’s no longer Randolph’s coach, and Nellie can no longer be named a scapegoat for Randolph’s failure to reach his potential. But substitute Mike D’Antoni for Don Nelson and there’s hardly any difference. His coaches agree: Randolph isn’t yet ready to shine.

“He doesn’t have a real big name,” D’Antoni said of Randolph to the New York Post. “He’s got big potential, but he hasn’t done a whole lot.

“This is a project,” D’Antoni said. “It’s not something that might happen tomorrow. It might be something that happens in one month, two months, one year, two years. He’s 21 years old. You can’t lose sight of that. I’m sure he wants it to be tomorrow. We want it to be tomorrow.”

D’Antoni’s not the only one who’s negative about Randolph’s present. Marc Berman of the New York Post wrote, “After Wednesday’s terrible outing versus the Celtics, Randolph is invoking memories of Kenny ‘Sky’ Walker, the No. 5 overall draft pick in 1986 who had a disappointing career with the Knicks.”

Randolph has played only three preseason games for the Knicks, and already he holds the burden of being compared to a draft bust. Walker, the kid from Kentucky who sometimes rocked the ”Kid N Play” high-top fade, entered the NBA with an ideal body frame, vicious vertical leap and big-time reputation. Seven years later his forgettable NBA career was finished, with career averages of 7.0 points and 4.0 rebounds. This is who Randolph is being compared to.

And then you look at Randolph’s preseason stats, and you wonder why people remain so negative. In only 20 minutes, he’s averaged 13.0 points and 4.0 rebounds per game. He’s just 21 years old. He has guard skills and a center’s length. He can affect games on both ends of the court. And even though he looked lost at times in the Knicks’ first game against the Celtics, even though he doesn’t always make the smart play, if you average Randolph’s preseason numbers out to 40 minutes, the Knicks would have a 26-point, 8-rebound player. Not bad, right?

This is what Seth from the Knicks blog Posting and Toasting had to say when describing one of Randolph’s preseason games: “Anthony Randolph, as advertised, made some absolutely dazzling plays (a steal and coast-to-coast dunk, a GORGEOUS one-handed pass to a cutting Bill Walker), but also forced threes and committed some silly fouls. Just remember to be patient with Anthony. He means well.”

Just remember to be patient with him, he means well. But at some point, patience runs out. Randolph is entering his third year now. Shouldn’t things be starting to click?

I played basketball yesterday with my friend, who is as big a Knicks fan as you’ll find. I asked him what he thinks about Randolph, and he said, “I don’t know. At times, he has no idea what the hell he’s supposed to do. Other times, he’s mesmerizing. And on certain weird occasions he’s both lost and mesmerizing, all at once.”

That’s exactly how I feel when I ponder Randolph’s potential impact on the New York Knicks, on the NBA. I’m both lost and mesmerized, all at once. 

And I can’t stop watching.

• Game Notes
  • According to A. Sherrod Blakely, Delonte West will “likely sit out [today's game] and continue to get rest and treatments for his back.” Stephane Lasme, out yesterday due to visa issues, should play.
  • Speaking of Lasme, his spot on the team looks tenuous in the shadows of yesterday’s Von Wafer scoring outburst. Lasme will need to impress from now on to hold on to the spot that once looked to be his.
  • Just a guess, but I’d bet Shaq will play tonight.
  • Amare Stoudemire won’t.

The Atlantic Division is the Katy Perry of NBA divisions. It’s incredibly top-heavy. Watching the Boston Celtics’ preseason slate, which includes only games against fellow Atlantic Division teams, it’s hard not to think, “The C’s bench could win that division.” Seriously. In a survey of general managers asking who would win the division, the Celtics won only 100% of the vote.

Tonight is the next meeting with an Atlantic Division “rival,” as the Celtics see the New York Knicks for the first time. The Knicks could be the C’s biggest competition for the Atlantic Division crown, and by “biggest competition” I mean they might be the only team that comes within 20 games. Adding Amare Stoudemire, Anthony Randolph, Roger Mason, Jr., Timofey Mozgov and Raymond Felton, the new-look Knicks now take on Mike D’Antoni’s identity for the first time. He finally has his own team, and now it’s on D’Antoni to manufacture wins out of the crew.

That could be a tough task tonight against a Celtics team that has looked impressive. After most of the Celtics’ regulars (and all the starters) received a day of rest in yesterday’s 103-92 loss to Philadelphia, four of them will be back in uniform tonight. Shaq will likely sit again with bothersome hips (Marc D’Amico of celtics.com reports, “It sounds as if Doc Rivers is going to rest Shaquille O’Neal for the second straight game”), but six-time All-Star Jermaine O’Neal should take his place. O’Neal’s defense looked great in yesterday’s loss and his rebounding was exquisite, but his offense felt gross enough that O’Neal called his former high school coach for some pointers. Not that Doc Rivers minded his center’s unsightly one fer six: “I told him I could care less,” Rivers said. “It’s the 12 rebounds, the blocked shots, the charges. He’s going to be really good for us defensively.”

O’Neal should start the game opposite Timofey Mozgov, the 7’1″ Russian who has earned the Knicks’ starting center position with a strong preseason. Mozgov is a little bit like Austin Powers, in that they’re both international men of mystery (although I doubt Mozgov cares as much about “shagging” as Powers does). D’Antoni said of Mozgov, “He’s playing well, and he picks things up extremely fast. I know there’s going to be rough spots ahead, but I just like his attitude and his effort, and then we’ll see what happens.”

Mozgov, for his part, had this to say: “”Run, run, run, defense and work, defense, defense. If I get the ball, shoot sometimes, maybe.” I’m not even kidding. He actually said that. I guess he doesn’t pick English up quite as “extremely fast” as he picks up basketball.

It’s weird to say about a Knicks team that has been softer than Ray Allen’s touch for a few years, but they actually should provide the Celtics’ best inside test yet. With Stoudemire and Mozgov, the Knicks have both strength and athleticism down low. The Celtics’ big men, who have spent the preseason feasting on a steady diet of Trent Plaisted, Andrea Bargnani, Spencer Hawes and every other soft big man the Atlantic Division has to offer, could use a stiffer test: they’ve outrebounded every opponent so far this preseason. For a Celtics team that struggled mightily to rebound last season, that stat would be very encouraging… if it hadn’t been accomplished against such weak frontcourts.

The game starts at 7:30 p.m., so set your DVRs and microwave your popcorn.