I appreciated the results, of course, when Nate Robinson’s six-year old son decided to tackle his older teammates in practice. Like a miniature version of Rodney Harrison, Robinson’s son followed through on his hit, then gave a momentary glare at the destruction the hit left behind, a look that said “I just ruined your day”, or “my father will really enjoy it if I stare you down after I demoralize you in front of his 372,000 Twitter followers”, or maybe just “if Roger Goodell catches wind of these hits, I’m going to be suspended whenever I make the NFL.”

But Nate, Nate, Nate, you will never be accused of maturity. After the second big hit a hurt child laid on the ground, and meanwhile Nate laughed his ass off. I understand being proud of your son for laying the smack down. I get it. When — not if — my kid becomes the next sensational professional athlete, I’ll strut around like a peacock and tweet liberally about everything my son accomplishes. I’ll make Twitvids of my son’s windmill dunks, twitpics of him holding MVP trophies and 140-character-or-less messages like, “My son’s the greatest thing to happen to earth since the invention of basketball.” I will absolutely be an obnoxious parent. But laughing hysterically while a little kid lays on the ground, potentially injured and definitely full of shame, seems a bit much.

Full disclosure: I am only picking nits about Nate’s parenting methods because the NBA lockout gives me nothing to write about whatsoever. If I could write about Nate’s tendency to shoot 28-foot pull-up jumpers on 1-on-4 fast breaks, normally at a juncture of the game when his team can least afford to waste a possession, I would love to. Or I would love to discuss Nate’s attitude that resembles rays of sunshine, the way he cheers until his vocal cords can’t cheer anymore even when he gets zero playing time.

Instead, I’m stuck analyzing the way Nate watches his six-year old son play football. I am officially a casualty of the NBA lockout.

At least it’s an excuse to post Nate’s own football highlights.

I know, Kendrick Perkins isn’t a Celtic anymore. But we’re in a lockout, people, meaning news is slower than Eddy Curry on tranquilizers. Plus, the Perkins story is becoming interesting as it gets more complicated daily.

Perkins now claims complete innocence in regards to his public intoxication and disorderly conduct charges. In fact, he claims he drank nothing but water that night. (The Oklahoman)

“Although these may be misdemeanors, it’s a big deal to Kendrick,” said Denise White, a publicist for Perkins, in an emailed statement to The Oklahoman. “He’s not happy about how things happened that evening and feels like the police were out of hand.” …

The biggest falsity, White said, is Perkins reportedly being drunk.

“He was not drinking alcohol, nor was he intoxicated,” said White, CEO and founder of EAG Sports Management. “Not one drop of alcohol Friday night. We’re not sure why they said Kendrick was intoxicated.”

According to White, police didn’t administer a breathalyzer or field sobriety test at the scene or the police station.

“There are witnesses inside the club that will attest to Kendrick only drinking water that evening,” White said.

White said the altercation early Saturday morning stemmed from Perkins attempting to collect money from the club manager with whom he had struck a deal for the use of the establishment as an after party site wrapping up the event. The money, White said, was to go to Perkins’ foundation, which aims to help children learn life skills and drug-awareness. According to White, the club owner became combative with Perkins and refused to hand over the money. An assistant to Perkins diffused the situation before “the lone policeman inside the club started harassing Kendrick to leave,” White said. Once outside, White said, another officer became more combative with Perkins, pushing him and grabbing his arm. Perkins, White said, was upset and pulled away. The officer then arrested him.

“We still don’t know why he was physical with Kendrick,” White said.

Oh, cops.

Details will continue to emerge, and I assume Perkins’s name will be cleared. If he’s lying now, it’s the worst public relations mistake he could make — reputations can easily survive one public intoxication and disorderly conduct charge, but lying about said charges would likely bring backlash.

I feel like Morgan, the little sister from Boy Meets World, right now. I’ve been in time out for three years and I’m finally making a return to the show — er, a return to writing.

In actuality, I haven’t been in time out. I haven’t been having recurring nightmares about a drunken, belligerent Kendrick Perkins either. My grandfather Pop Pop passed away from a cancerous tumor, and spending time with my family vaulted over everything else on my list of priorities — my golf swing is now in shambles, I haven’t updated my website in a week, my jump shot is rusty, and, no, I wouldn’t change any of that because experiencing the love my family emanated this week changed my life.

Pop Pop’s in a better place now, a place where he can finally play golf again, a place where his face does not have a tumor, a place where he can reunite with his parents, both of whom died before he was three years old, a place where he can walk without a walker, go to the bathroom without a diaper, sleep without pain, . I assume he’s playing 18 holes now, and when he’s done he’ll wait in the clubhouse for my grandmother Kicki and the rest of us to meet him for dinner.

In the meantime, I’m back to business as usual. That means discussing the major developments that happened during my intermission:

1. Kendrick Perkins arrested for public intoxication and disorderly conduct

Thinks of Perkins searching for a fight with regulation-sized human beings.

Shivers in fear.

Remembers how many times he’s seen drunken people trying to fight.

Gives Perk the benefit of the doubt . . . this time.

2. Kendrick Perkins claims he is innocent and suffered injuries from the fight

Perk suffered injuries in a bar fight? That can’t be great for his street cred.

3. Kendrick Perkins considering filing a police brutality complaint over incident

Whoa. Now this Perkins story is getting a bit crazy. One second I envision Perkins stomping around a bar looking like Godzilla scavenging for young civilians. The next, Perkins claims injury, denies the police version of the incident, and is considering a suit against the fuzz. Ladies and gentleman, your 2011 news cycle. Also, for whatever it’s worth, as much as Perkins scowls on the court, he’s just about the last person I would expect to get into a bar fight.

4. Kendrick Perkins is no longer a Boston Celtic

Yet I keep talking about him. Ugh. Note to self: it’s time to let Perk go.

5. Ray Allen says a cancelled season will not doom the Celtics

Yeah, a core of Rajon Rondo, 37-year old Ray Allen, 36-year old Kevin Garnett and 35-year old Paul Pierce would definitely return as contenders in 2012-’13. And Lindsey Lohan is a perfect role model for your children.

6. Rondo’s elbow feeling good

Rondo participated in a Kentucky exhibition game and reportedly looked good.

6. Doc Rivers might be searching for a defensive coordinator

The NBA lockout needs to end, mostly because this is what constitutes a rumor right now. I never would have guessed how much I miss free agency rumors that don’t involve foreign countries. I would even kill for a “Celtics work out Adam Morrison and Kwame Brown” headline right now.

If you’re lucky, you don’t remember how the Celtics began yesterday’s game. I knew, after only two possessions, the Celtics hadn’t “brought it.”

The first possession resulted in a lob pass from Paul Pierce, intended to hit Kevin Garnett. Instead, the play ended in a turnover and a Nate Robinson-sized lump on the back of Garnett’s head. Not exactly a perfect start, but I promise: things got worse.

The next possession was undoubtedly the worst in the history of Western Civilization. I, of course, say the previous sentence in the voice of Bill Walton. It started with Rajon Rondo dribbling at the top of the key. Rondo pounded the ball into the floor, and kept pounding, and kept pounding. He almost put a hole in the damn court.

But it wasn’t his fault. His teammates weren’t moving. Actually, that’s not fair — they were moving. There just wasn’t much of a purpose to any of the movement. Ray Allen looked dazed as he ran around screens. Actually, I can’t really call them screens, because the C’s who were standing still never once came into contact with Allen’s defender. Eighteen seconds after Rondo started creating a crater in the court, he realized the play was destined to fail. With no other options to speak of, Rondo launched a 25-foot bomb. As you could probably guess, it missed.

“Tonight, we disrespected the basketball gods,” Shaq, the only Celtic who gave a damn from the opening tipoff, told ESPN Boston.

“The basketball gods punished us today,” repeated Glen Davis.

“The basketball gods were not going to let you win with the way you approached the game,” echoed Doc Rivers. He later added, “The basketball gods — you play like crap, you play with that energy, and they’ll give you a couple bad 3s. I think [the Celtics] had one, maybe two of them. They deserved it.”

Okay, Celtics, we get it. The basketball gods weren’t happy with the way you approached last night’s game. We know.

But it almost seems like the C’s have a point. There was one play especially when I thought, “Yuck. It’s just not the Celtics’ night.”

You know what play I’m talking about. Rondo had finally ratcheted up his defense on Russell Westbrook, and poked the ball away from him two separate times. The second time, the ball squirted out. Right into the hands of Royal Ivey, who banked home a 25-footer. Yes, Royal Ivey — he of the 3.6 career scoring average.

Oh, and in case you forgot, the basketball gods didn’t want the Celtics to win that game.

“Seemed like the whole game we were seaching for a challenge,” Delonte West told WEEI. “It was almost like in the third quarter we were like, ‘Ok, down 10. Let’s go.’ Basketball gods don’t reward you like that.”

No, they don’t. But enough about the basketball gods. The only basketball god I saw last night was named Russell Westbrook.

Rajon Rondo strained his left hamstring on the following play, during yesterday’s fourth quarter. He briefly attempted to return to the game, but wasn’t moving well and was pulled by Doc Rivers.

Two thoughts on the play: 1) That’s not a freaking charge, Joey Crawford! And 2) Yes, Royal Ivey played some crunch time minutes for the Thunder. And the Celtics still lost.

After receiving postgame treatment, Rondo labeled himself day-to-day.

“I’ll just get treatment [Saturday] and we’ll see,” he told ESPN Boston.

Rondo said it was Doc Rivers’s decision to pull him from the game. If it were up to Rondo, he probably would have remained in the game.

“(Coach) Doc (Rivers) made the decision,” Rondo told the Boston Herald. “I guess he saw me limping and decided to pull me.”

In Rondo’s absence, Delonte West — not Nate Robinson — finished the game. West forced contested shots by Russell Westbrook, who spent the first three quarters in the zone but missed all seven fourth-quarter shots. Doc Rivers clearly has more trust in West than Robinson, and I can’t blame him. According to 82games.com, Robinson’s PER this season is 9.2. And the players he defends? They have a combined 16.2 PER. Not a good margin for Nate, who — and I say this with entire fairness — has been one of the worst players in the NBA this year. Oh, and one more note about Nate: free Avery Bradley! Please.

West DID miss a shot that likely would have sent the game to overtime, but it was evident the Celtics trusted him enough to take a last-second shot.

Back to Rondo, get better soon. Please.

The first three quarters were simply this:

And this:

The C’s finally picked up their defense in tonight’s fourth quarter. There were only two problems: the defense was a few quarters too late, and the offense didn’t come along for the ride. The result was an ugly 89-84 loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder, a loss that never should have happened. Not with Kevin Durant injured.

Westbrook and his scorching hot hand finally ran into the law of averages in the fourth quarter, but his run of bricks was matched by an equally brick-tacious Celtics squad. The Thunder missed their final thirteen field goal attempts, but the C’s missed nine straight of their own. The final miss was a Delonte West three-pointer from the corner that would have tied the game. The Celtics amped-up defense was electric, but they didn’t deserve this win. Not after three quarters of listless play.

Say what you want about the Thunder’s 6-9 three-point shooting clinic being an aberration (they came into the game last in the league in three-point %), but any guard in the NBA can make wide open jumpers. Okay, there are a few who can’t. One Celtic comes to mind. But almost every guard can make wide open jumpers, and that’s what the Thunder were getting. In the fourth quarter the Celtics finally started actively contesting shots, and guess what happened? Bad shooters missed tough shots. That’s kind of what happens, folks. As the defense improves, shooting percentages go down. There were a few Thunder shots that were lucky (I KNOW Royal Ivey didn’t call glass), but for the most part they made the easy shots and missed the difficult ones. It wasn’t rocket science.

Now comes where I break down individual performances. Do you want the good news or bad news first? Okay, we’ll start with the good. Shaq continued to play like a perfect fit. He positioned himself for easy shots, and the Celtics found him. It’s that simple. The Ray-to-Shaq alley was beautiful in the eye of any beholder. Paul Pierce’s dunk was also spectacular. My neighbors are still pissed off after my reaction. Luke Harangody played 21 seconds. That was a blast. Glen Davis drew a few more charges. To be expected. Rondo’s putback slam made him look like Shawn Kemp. Ridiculous. And Delonte West played great defense on Westbrook down the stretch. Good stuff.

Which brings us to the bad news. Why was West in the game down the stretch? Because Rondo hurt his hamstring and couldn’t finish out the game. Plus, Westbrook was abusing him so thoroughly that Bill Simmons tweeted, “Do any other Celts fans think Westbrook drove Rondo to pull Al Czervik’s ‘oooh, my arm, I think its broken!’ routine or am I too cynical?” Simmons is being too cynical. Firstly, Rondo’s as competitive as NBA players come. He’s no Vince Carter. Being torched made Rondo play harder, and he had already picked up the intensity before being forced to the bench. But Westbrook still treated him like a child for most of the night.

The C’s also couldn’t rebound worth a damn. Garnett only mustered two boards, and the C’s were out-rebounded by six caroms. The Thunder are frail inside. That should never happen. One more major flaw: It’s getting to the point where backup point guards eyes light up when they play the Celtics. Eric Maynor (13 minutes, 9 points, 4-6 shooting) is just the latest decent player Nate Robinson allowed to look like an All-Star. But hey, look on the bright side: at least it wasn’t Jose Juan Barea this time! And oh yeah, Glen Davis shot two fer ten. And two fer six from the line.

The Celtics dug in late, but failed to take advantage of opportunities. They enraged me pretty much throughout the entire 48 minutes, and at one point during the fourth quarter (I think it was when Shaq was called for a bogus flagrant foul), I’m pretty sure I was homicidal. Those are the times when I repeatedly whisper “Woo-sah” and remind myself, “Hey, at least it’s only one game.”

To beat an NBA team, even if Kevin Durant misses a game, you have to try for more than one quarter. Or at least, if you only try for one quarter, you can’t make only two field goals in said quarter.

Remember, folks: It’s only one night. Thank God.

(Images via @jose3030)