Looks like there won't be any "five-foot nothing, a hundred nothing" jokes next year, after all. Damn it.

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Well, looks like Rudy Fernandez will be off the market soon. And he won’t be joining The Green Mile in Boston. He’s probably headed to Chicago. (Tommy Dee)

Source says a deal with Rudy Fernandez and the Bulls could be done by monday. James Johnson to portland but blaz want a draft pick as well.

As Red’s Army points out, Fernandez wasn’t ideal for the Celtics anyway. Look for Danny to flip Sheed’s contract into a solid, defensive-minded small forward with size. Who? It beats me. I’ve been on the trade machine trying to find the perfect trade, but I keep migrating back to the whole “God, the thought of Shane Battier in Boston makes me hard” thing. Oh well. That’s what you guys are for. What other small forwards should the Celtics target with Sheed’s contract?

You're You're a Ruettiger. There's nothing wrong with that. You can have a damn nice Iife.

This tidbit was tucked way into David Aldridge’s latest mailbag. (NBA.com, h/t mrtrpledouble10)

11) Portland: Blazers stlll likely to deal Rudy Fernandez to either Celtics or Bulls.

I can only say one thing: Yes, please. I’m not sold on Von Wafer being the answer. He’s too volatile. But a bench that has Rudy, Nate, Big Baby and Von-illa Wafer (not to mention Jermaine O’Neal, when Perk comes back) is ridiculously explosive.

So trade for Rudy, convince Rasheed to come back for one last run (and hire him a personal trainer and chef) and then the Celtics will have the following bench:

PG - Nate Robinson, Avery Bradley, Oliver Lafayette
SG – Rudy Fernandez, Von Wafer, Marquis Daniels
SF – Marquis Daniels, Tony Gaffney
PF – Big Baby, Luke Harangody
C – Jermaine O’Neal, Rasheed Wallace

Scary to the rest of the league. But to me, that’d be nothing less than a wet dream.

(I don’t know if even Rick Pitino can score 5 points that quickly.)

Does the signing of Von Wafer mean the Celtics are out of the running for Rudy Fernandez? Hell if I know. So for now, I’ll assume the C’s are still interested until I hear otherwise. Von Wafer isn’t exactly a slam dunk, ya know? He’s not the panacea to all the Celtics problems. Neither is Rudy, but still, the Celtics might still be looking to upgrade their bench wings.

Anyway, before I continue my babble-athon, there was another rumor today that the Blazers may keep Rudy after all. (Arlington Daily Herald)

The Oregonian mentioned the Bulls as a potential destination for Portland shooting guard Rudy Fernandez. League insiders wonder if the Blazers are really serious about moving Fernandez. The Bulls’ inquiries earlier this summer were rebuffed.

At this point, if Fernandez is unhappy with his limited role in Portland, the Bulls may not be his best option, considering they’ve already added Kyle Korver and Ronnie Brewer at two guard.

According to reports, the Blazers are willing to accommodate Fernandez’trade request and are looking for a first-round draft pick in return.

I’ve seen rumors of the Bulls offering Taj Gibson for Fernandez, but cannot imagine that happening. You don’t trade a competent big man for an unproven guard.

Why would the Blazers ever keep Rudy? They already had Brandon Roy, Jerryd Bayless and Nicolas Batum, then they picked up Wes Matthews in free agency and Luke Babbit and Elliot Williams in the draft. They’re pretty loaded on the wing, Rudy wants to get the hell out of Portland, and if you can fetch a first-round draft pick for a guy who will have a tough time cracking the rotation you’ve got to do it. Got to.

Just two Europeans cheesin'.

Rudy Fernandez wants out of Portland. The Blazers realize he is very disgruntled and are speaking to teams about getting him out of there. But the talks have likely been put on hold until Sunday. (Jason Quick, Oregonian)

Rudy trade talks likely on back burner until Sunday. GM Cho tells agent Andy Miller he will meet w/coach McMillan in Vegas on Sun to discuss.

In another new update, the Blazers reportedly may not be against keeping Fernandez on the team and forcing him to honor his contract in Portland. (The Columbian)

Sources also said it is highly unlikely that Fernandez will be waived or that the situation will dissolve to the point that he is placed on the NBA’s suspended list. And while Portland will not hesitate to trade him in either a one-for-one or package deal if a promising proposal is made, the Blazers are also going through the process with the knowledge that Fernandez could be on the roster for the foreseeable future as the team explores a multitude of options.

Before that report, it had seemed inevitable the Blazers would trade Fernandez away. It still seems almost a given that they will. Even in the report that discussed the potential of Fernandez staying in Portland, a source was quoted as saying that both sides know it’s “time for a divorce” and are on the same page.

Meanwhile, the report revealed that there has been little progress in talks for Fernandez and that “there has not been a significant change in ongoing negotiations between the sides during the past week.” That contradicts CelticsBlog’s report yesterday, which claimed the Celtics were in the “lead position” in the trade talks and had been in serious discussions with Portland since Tuesday.

In other news, one of the three teams who had reportedly showed interest in Fernandez does not seem to have the assets to make a deal happen. While the Blazers likely are looking for a first round pick in the trade, the New York Knicks can’t trade next year’s pick (thanks Isiah) because of a rule keeping teams from trading first round picks in successive years. The Knicks traded their 2010 pick all the way back in 2004, and thus can’t trade their 2011 draft choice. That doesn’t necessarily mean the Knicks are out of the running, it just means they are limited in what they can offer.

So while there is really no news in the Portland talks as they have been put on the backburner until Sunday, the Celtics seem to be jockeying with the Bulls for top position. By the way, I can’t even begin to describe how miserable writing about the offseason is. I’ve probably written 15,000 words on Rudy Fernandez and another 20,000 on Matt Barnes. I can’t wait until I can write about legitimately good players again.

As troubled as he's been lately, West can ball.

If basketball were the only part of the equation, if resume-builders like “once slung a guitar case filled with guns over his shoulder,” “battles severe depression” and “may or may not have slept with a teammate’s mother” didn’t count one bit, it would be easy for the Celtics to choose Delonte West instead of Rudy Fernandez. Don’t agree? Hear me out.

West is a better playmaker. He can take the ball to the hoop off the bounce. He’s strong enough to absorb contact and finish at the rim. He’s a much better defender than the Spaniard, and even though he gives up a few inches Delonte is far more rugged when defending bigger players. He can stroke from the outside too. Delonte has hit 37% of his three-point attempts during his career, which is the only area where he really falls behind Fernandez. By one percentage point.

Fernandez cried about his role on the bench. Delonte embraced it. The Celtics would need Rudy to play a backup role with limited minutes, but Nate McMillan told the Oregonian, “Rudy is a team player, and his style of play requires minutes. He’s not a guy who is just going to come down and jack up a shot. He needs to get into a flow, into a rhythm, and that’s not a backup role.” I don’t have any quotes from Mike Brown, but I imagine one would have gone like this: “West doesn’t need to find a rhythm. He often comes into the game and makes his presence felt immediately by changing the game’s pace.”

But character stains don’t just wash away. For all the positives Delonte West brings to the court, for all he does better than Rudy Fernandez from sideline to sideline, there will always be those doubts. Can he keep happy? Can he stay away from legal trouble? Are those rumors really true? Those are doubts that probably won’t go away, no matter how well West plays next year or the year after that.

Yet I still remember West from his Celtics days, as a player meant for a better team. A player meant to find a niche on a contender. Tough. Rugged. Willing to play whatever role the team needed. West’s talents were somewhat wasted on that young Celtics team destined to go nowhere, but they still shined through.

That’s why it’s hard for me to discard West. He’s a better player than Rudy, a better fit for the Celtics on the court. But those red flags just won’t go away. There’s a whole lot of baggage there. And if the past rears its ugly head, West could make whatever team offers him a contract look very bad.

On the other hand, if it doesn’t? If West can somehow move forward from the last two troublesome years? Then some lucky NBA team will soon pick up a versatile winner for a more than reasonable price.

Did you know Rudy shot 38% from the field last season?

Danny Ainge is looking for a shooter. Rudy Fernandez can shoot. The Celtics need a shooting guard off the bench. That just happens to be Fernandez’s position. See where I’m going here?

Then it makes sense that the Celtics are one of three teams leading the race for Fernandez. (The Oregonian)

Boston, Chicago and New York are all in the running to land the 6-foot-6 Spaniard, who set an NBA rookie record two seasons ago by making 159 three-pointers.

Some of the teams interested in Fernandez have offered a future first round draft pick, while other offers would pair Fernandez with another Blazers player, but agent Andy Miller would not get into specifics.

Rudy is definitely getting traded. Now it comes down to which team makes the best offer. The Celtics can’t give the best draft pick, or at least I hope they can’t, because they should have a very good record. But they have Sheed’s retiring contract as a trade chip that neither Chicago or New York can match. I’ve probably said this every day of the summer, but Joel Przybilla and Fernandez for Sheed and Oliver Lafayette would be pretty damn perfect for the Celtics. But… I just don’t see it happening. The Blazers’ big men are too frail to give one up just for salary relief. Unless they’d want to give up Oden…? But nah, they wouldn’t do that. They can’t give up on him yet, can they?

Other than packaging Oden and Fernandez for Sheed and either Gaffney or Lafayette, I don’t see any trades that make sense. And I really don’t think Portland would part ways with either of those centers. So, umm, I’m starting to think the Celtics are going to lose out on Fernandez too. Pardon me while I try to talk myself down from the ledge. It’s just Rudy Fernandez! He’s not even that good! He shot 38% last year! He couldn’t defend my dog! There’s a reason he’s asking for a trade… because Nate McMillan cut his playing time last season!

Okay, I’m back from the ledge. But seriously, Fernandez would have been a pretty good fit. He can hit the three and he can almost defend shooting guards, which would be all the Celtics would ask him to do. Maybe the Celtics should brace for him going somewhere else though. If he’s willing to take the minimum, Roger Mason sounds pretty damn good.