I don’t normally bash a player from another team. I like to limit my bashing to the normal hometown targets – Nate Robinson, Tony Allen, Mikki Moore and Paul Pierce’s facial hair. But today is different, because Sean Marks wasn’t just bad yesterday. He might have played the worst five-minute stretch I’ve ever witnessed.

I re-watched Marks’s 4:49 of first-half playing time this morning, and – I’ll be damned – it was just as bad as I originally thought.

Marks subbed in during two Kevin Garnett free throws. After Garnett made his second shot, the Blazers dribbled into an offensive set, where Marks would make his first “contribution.” He rolled to the hoop and caught a pass a foot away from the rim. Being damn near seven feet tall, all Marks had to do was dunk the ball through the hoop. Instead, he heard Paul Pierce’s footsteps. Marks airballed a wide open layup, and was called for traveling when he tried to rebound his own airball.

But Marks was only just beginning. He ran back on defense and almost immediately fouled Shaquille O’Neal. The foul didn’t turn out to be a horrible one, at least. Shaq missed both foul shots, and Marks even grabbed the rebound. Sadly, that single rebound was the only thing he would do right in his five-minute stint on the floor.

The very next possession, Brandon Roy found a cutting Marks for another open layup. The shot clanged off the backboard violently before bouncing off the rim. Kevin Pelton sent out a tweet, “Joel Przybilla cannot possibly get back soon enough for the Blazers. Sean Marks is not an NBA player.”

The Celtics’ following possession resulted in a Paul Pierce three-pointer. Oddly enough, it wasn’t even Marks’ fault. But he would make up for it. Left all alone for a 13-foot jumper, Marks drew nothing but rim. The brick made him 0-3 in the first half, but not all was bad — at least he was done shooting. The very next trip down the floor, Marks fouled Shaq, off the ball, and sent him to the line. This time, Shaq made both free throws.

A few plays passed by without Marks making his impact felt, and for the Blazers that was a blessing sent from above. When Marks next made his presence felt, it was again by making a mistake. He went to set a pick, but didn’t quite set himself. The moving screen gave the Celtics the ball. Ray Allen missed a reverse layup, and the rebound popped out. Even though Marks tried to grab the rebound, he wasn’t exactly boxing out. His man, Shaq, stole the board and slammed home a monster dunk. A. Sherrod Blakely tweeted, “When [Shaq] outhustles you for a rebound, just tap yourself on the shoulder and head to the bench. You need to sit down, Mr. Marks.”

Marks didn’t sit down, but his damage was almost done. With 6.5 seconds remaining in the half, Marks was late on a defensive rotation and fouled a driving Paul Pierce. Mercifully, Marks’ five minutes of shame were over. His line for that span: 0-3 shooting, 0 points, 0 assists, 1 rebounds, 0 blocks, 4 fouls.

And Kevin Pelton? Forgot about Joel Pryzbilla. If I were the Blazers, I might play Greg Oden. Even just a couple weeks removed from microfracture surgery, I imagine Oden could still offer more than Sean Marks. After all, Marks’ recent play inspired the headline:

“Sean Marks is worse than you thought.”

Whenever the Celtics play Portland, it’s easy to think, “Holy hell, the Celtics could have been stuck with Greg Oden!”

At the time, of course, it wasn’t considered being “stuck with Greg Oden.” It was considered drafting the player some analysts compared to Bill Russell. It was considered drafting the league’s next great center, a franchise cornerstone who would affect games on both ends and win championships for his team. In fact, if my memory is not mistaken, Oden once proclaim his desire to win 15 NBA titles. Umm, yeah, about that.

I think we can all agree it was for the best the Celtics didn’t end up with Oden. 782 surgeries later (just an estimate), Oden has played 82 games in four seasons. He still has time to resurrect his career, but with every injury it makes more sense that Oden’s body will never allow him to be an elite player. It’s sad, when you think about it.

Greg Oden was considered a better professional prospect than any other college or high school player in 2006 (yes, even Kevin Durant). He was destined for greatness, destined for a career filled with nothing but Defensive Player of the Year Awards and championships. Who knows, maybe an MVP trophy or two (or three, or four). And now? Now he rehabs, and probably wonders what could have been. He probably also wonders why. Why so many injuries? Why not someone else? Why me?

Yet Oden isn’t the only Blazer who could have been a Celtic. If Danny Ainge had been smart, Brandon Roy probably should have played in Boston. In 2006, Ainge traded the Celtics’ first-round draft pick (the 7th pick) to Portland for Sebastian Telfair. That pick, which turned out to be Randy Foye, was later swapped for the 6th pick (Brandon Roy). So the pick Ainge traded for Sebastian Telfair turned into Brandon Roy. Ainge effectively traded Roy for a 5’11″, over-hyped point guard whose most significant basketball achievement remains making the documentary, “Through the Fire.”

At the time, Ainge’s blunder looked severe. What kind of moron can pass up an opportunity to scoop up Brandon Roy, just to acquire Sebastian [Bleeping] Telfair? But now I look back on the 2006 and 2007 Drafts with hindsight. The Celtics sure had the basketball gods on their side for two straight years, didn’t they?

In those two drafts, if the Celtics had been what we once considered “lucky”, the Celtics could be the team saddled by a star with bad knees that have no hope of improvement. They could be the team with a franchise center that misses every game with injury. They could be the young team that is more bothered by injuries than any other in the NBA.

Think about it. If the Celtics ended up with Roy, they might have built the future around him. Paul Pierce didn’t want to stay for a rebuilding project, so he might have demanded a trade. If Pierce wasn’t in Boston, there’s no way Kevin Garnett would have agreed to join the Celtics, and there’s no way Danny Ainge would have traded for an old shooting guard named Ray Allen. The Celtics very easily could have been built around Roy, and his injury problems would have been devastating to the entire franchise.

Same with Oden. If the lottery balls had bounced differently, Grandpa Greg would have been drafted by Boston — at least according to Doc Rivers. Paul Pierce, again, might have requested a trade and the Big Three never would have been formed. The Celtics would have built a future around their dominant center, only to find out that dominance is impossible to achieve while constantly in rehab.

Had things gone differently in those two drafts, I don’t know what the Celtics would look like today. But I know the present wouldn’t be so pretty, and that’s enough for me. So thank you, basketball gods, or luck of the Irish, or whatever string of good fortune contributed to the Big Three’s formation.

Things could have worked out far differently, and for the Boston Celtics that would not have been good.

When asked whether he was overpaid, Wesley Matthews — the soon-to-be second-year swingman who signed with Portland for five years, $35 million — responded in part, “People that say I’m overpaid — I might be. We never know. I know one thing is that I’ll be in the gym and I’ll be working to give myself a chance to be the best that I can be.” (Blazer’s Edge)

I’m sorry, but Wes is wrong. The truth isn’t that he might be overpaid. It’s that he is absolutely, no doubt about it, 100% overpaid. It’s not his fault, but when a guy who averaged less than 10 points in his only NBA season and will be a 6th man next season gets $35 million, that’s simply stretching the pockets a little too wide. But at least this little guy loves him.