The season is approaching (but not quickly enough), so that means it’s NBA preview time. Starting with the league’s worst team and working our way to the top, we’ll preview one team per day.

Love must hate being stuck in Minnesota. Cold weather and bad basketball. Is there anything worse?

Minnesota Timberwolves

Last year’s record: 15-67
Head Coach: Kurt Rambis
Projected Starters: Jonny Flynn, Martell Webster, Corey Brewer, Michael Beasley, Kevin Love

Outlook:

Quite simply, not good. When the league’s second-worst team unloads its best player for a couple draft picks and a sack of potatoes (aka Kosta Koufos); re-signs the decade’s biggest bust for $20 million; holds its future in the hands of a pothead and a 19-year old Spaniard who may or may not play in the United States anytime soon; then takes out a full-page ad in a local newspaper to apologize; well, that team has been Kahn’d. And, for the foreseeable future at least, it has little hope.

X-Factor:

Michael Beasley. You know how he underacheived in Miami. He went to drug rehab, never found his niche, didn’t adjust well to the NBA game, couldn’t defend a soul — the list of Beasley’s shortcomings the past couple years is longer than Shawn Bradley’s arms. But underneath all the billows of marijuana smoke, there’s potential. We saw it at Kansas St., and we saw glimpses of it in Miami. If Beasley can get his life and game together, he could be a 25 and 10 type; he’s THAT talented. If not? He’ll be the second-biggest draft bust on the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Biggest Question Mark:

Will Ricky Rubio ever play a game in a Minnesota Timberwolves jersey? I know that question doesn’t have anything to do with next year’s team. Then again, it’s tough to find a question about next year’s Timberwolves team worth answering. They’re going to be bad, and probably 2009-2010 New Jersey Nets bad. Rubio is a rare Spaniard of hope for a franchise in dire straits.

Most important newcomer:

Beasley, simply because he has — by far — the highest upside. But don’t sleep on Wesley Johnson. The Wolves could regret choosing Johnson ahead of DeMarcus Cousins, but the 6’7″ jumping jack might make an immediate impact on both ends of the court. Emphasis on might.

Biggest loss:

Al Jefferson. What? Did you think I was going to say Nathan Jawai?

Most compelling storyline:

Can it be anything but David Kahn? Kahn spent the summer doing his best Isiah Thomas impersonation, then called Darko Milicic a “manna from heaven.” It’s just a shame manna’s suck at basketball. Anyway, Kahn’s ineptitude is the only reason anyone’s discussed the Timberwolves this summer. Not only is he the most compelling storyline, but he’s pretty damn close to being the only storyline.

Player to watch:

Kevin Love. Mostly by default, but also because Love’s damn good. His averages last season? 14 points and 11 rebounds, in only 28.6 minutes. Can somebody please let Kurt Rambis in on a secret the rest of the NBA world seems to know? Love deserves more playing time.

Descriptive movie quote:

“Look – you’re my best friend, so don’t take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you’re still livin’ here, comin’ over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin’ construction, I’ll fuckin’ kill you. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fuckin’ kill you.” – Good Will Hunting

To Love, the only Timberwolf worth writing about. In twenty years, if Love’s still playing in Minnesota, wasting his unique talents on shitty teams surrounded by shitty players, I’ll fucking kill him. That’s not a threat; now, that’s a fact. I’ll fucking kill him. You know what the best part of my day is? It’s for about ten seconds from when I put on the TV to when I switch the channel to the Timberwolves game. Because I think maybe I’ll flip the station and Love won’t be there. No goodbye, no see you later, no nothin’. Just left. I don’t know much, but I know that.

Projected Record: 17-65. Mediocrity would be a drastic improvement for the Wolves. But mediocrity ain’t happening any time soon.

(When I say “Tall Black freak,” I mean that in the most respectful way possible.)

Since I’m the biggest basketball nerd you’ll ever (never?) meet but somehow don’t have NBA TV, I sat at my computer this afternoon to watch Spain play the New Zealand Tall Blacks. My computer doesn’t have any speakers, so I had some earphones in, my shirt off, some plaid shorts on and my rapidly-growing belly hanging out. I was also eating a bag of peanut M&Ms. It would have made an attractive picture, really. Any girl would have been lucky to have me right then.

But anyway, out of nowhere, some athletic freak named Thomas Abercrombie started balling out for New Zealand. Just dunking everything. He caught an alley-oop in the vicinity of Marc Gasol, then dunked near Fran Vazquez, and later had a nice and-one after bouncing off Rudy Fernandez. And that was all in the first half. He finished the game with 19 points, each one seemingly more exciting than the last.

I don’t think Abercrombie’s terrific play is a normal thing, mostly because of three facts: 1) the announcer (an annoying, over-exaggerating bloke) seemed mighty surprised by Abercrombie’s output,  2) Abercrombie only scored 7 points in New Zealand’s first game, and 3) in 2007-2008 Abercrombie played for Washington State University, averaging only 1.2 points per game. But he DID average 21.0 points per game for the Waikato Pistons of the New Zealand National Basketball League, so maybe he’s gotten infinitely better since bumming it for WSU. Even if Abercrombie still isn’t a great player, he’s got at least one thing going for him in the eyes of NBA scouts: the 23-year old can sky.

Anyway, the above dunk (which is from approximately a year ago) is sick and I’ve now put Abercrombie on my 40,000-person list of players who could have won last season’s dunk contest.

Click the jump to see one of two alley-oops from Ricky Rubio to Rudy Fernandez.

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(I love it when bad things happen to the Gasol brothers.)

Kevin Durant blocked two last-ditch Rudy Fernandez three pointers as time expired and Team USA held on for a thrilling, 86-85 victory against Spain.

I would discuss how Rajon Rondo played but, well, he didn’t exactly play. Rondo pulled the DNP, joining Danny Granger and the injured Kevin Love as the only USA players not to play a single second.

Why? Who knows. Maybe he’s a little banged-up. Maybe Coach K was disgusted by Rondo’s bad performance the other day. Maybe Coach K just wanted to give the bubble guys more of a chance to play. Maybe Rondo’s even on the bubble himself.

I doubt Rondo was being saved as a secret weapon for the next time USA runs into Spain. If he was, why were he and Granger the only healthy players not to get in? That just doesn’t make sense to me.

P.S. – Rudy Fernandez looked pretty bad. Too much complaining this summer and not enough practicing, it looks like.

P.P.S. – Ricky Rubio is the real deal. I was so excited by a few plays he made that my 12-year old brother looked at me and said, “I think you’re homo for Rubio or something.” I don’t think I’m actually homo for Rubio, but I definitely have a man crush on his basketball game.

(This music could get me fired up for anything. Anything.)

Rajon Rondo vs. Ricky Rubio. Isn’t that alone enough for you to watch today’s game between USA and Spain?

The game will be televised at 3:00 p.m. on NBA TV and ESPN3.com. It will also be shown on tape delay at 10:00 p.m. on ESPN2.

Rondo will be looking to recover from yesterday’s performance, one that can only be described by a single word: Bad. Actually, you could probably even be harsher than “bad” if you wanted to be. Whenever a player has more turnovers than points and assists combined, you can pretty much be as harsh as you please. After yesterday, I’m wondering whether Rondo will remain Team USA’s starting point guard.

But don’t expect another poor showing from Rondo today. I suspect he’ll be motivated to rebound from yesterday. Plus, I think getting pumped up will be a little easier against Ricky Rubio and Spain than it was against Mantas Kalnietis and Lithuania. Just a guess.

I don’t know about you, but matchups like Rajon Rondo vs. Ricky Rubio really get me going. And Sunday, when Team USA meets the Spanish national team, those two guys should be the opposing starters. No need for Viagra, guys. I’m already aroused.

I’m not going to break down each player’s strengths and weaknesses, mostly because you already know Rondo in and out and I, like you, don’t know as much about Rubio’s game as I should. But if Rubio’s reputation as an on-court wizard is deserved (and judging from the clip above I’d say that it probably is), Sunday’s exhibition will treat us to two of the best, most unique basketball players the world has to offer. Clear your schedules, take your seat on the couch, microwave a bag of popcorn, kick your feet up on the table and enjoy. It should be fun.

Not only do we get to see Rondo against the best international point guard there is, but as a self-proclaimed student of the game I’m excited to see how Rubio measures up. Of the few doubts I’ve read about Rubio’s game, the most persistent is that he may not be able to handle uber-quick athletes he’ll see in the NBA. If that’s the case (and I don’t know enough about him to know whether it will be), we should be able to see immediately on Sunday: If Rubio’s too slow to thrive in the NBA, I can’t imagine he’ll fare well against Rondo and Derrick Rose. But if he CAN stick with them? If he not only holds his own but plays well? Well, folks, you just might be getting a glimpse of the NBA’s next great point guard. And one who, like Rondo, plays the game with a certain flair, a bravado that makes you think to yourself, “Wow. I’ve never seen someone like this guy before, and you know what? I might never again.”

But really, it’s not just the starting point guard matchup that intrigues (although that matchup certainly helps). It’s the rematch of the 2008 Olympic gold medalists vs. the runners-up (even if not a single player returns from that USA Team). It’s Marc Gasol vs. Team USA’s incredibly thin frontcourt. It’s Rudy Fernandez in his comfort zone. It’s Team USA’s stable of high-flying and versatile youngsters against Spain’s chemistry-filled crew that has been playing together for years, about whom Coach K says, “To watch the Spanish basketball team play, with the way they pass the ball, is to watch beautiful basketball.” It’s getting to see whether Team USA and all its youth is ready to beat the world’s best. It’s the two greatest national teams in the world, battling against each other. Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

Just tune in on Sunday. And before you do, make sure you wish me happy birthday. If you know me well, or even know me at all, you know what I’m most looking forward to on the 23rd anniversary of my birth: Seeing Rajon Rondo play basketball. Is that sad? Probably. Something to be proud of? Doubtful. Weird? Absolutely.

But hate it or love it, the basketball dork is me.