General Manager O'Neal?

1. Shaq wants the New Jersey Nets to stay in Newark, and — who knows? — maybe they’ll even name him the GM.
2. Rajon Rondo was named to NBA.com’s All-Hustle team. Notably left off the roster? Kevin Garnett. I defy you to find someone who works harder than Garnett.
3. Semih Erden’s translator, Ilker Belgutay, who is to unintentional comedy what Hank Aaron was to home runs, set up Tony Gaffney with Erden’s former Turkish team, Turktelekom. Belgutay received a phone call from Faruk Akagum, Turktelekom’s coach, shortly after Gaffney was released from the Celtics. “He called me and asked who was around,” Belgutay told the Boston Herald. “I mentioned that he would like Tony.” Soon after the call, Gaffney was offered a contract that he couldn’t refuse.
4. Kevin Garnett didn’t look great yesterday (actually, he didn’t do much of anything), but one thing I read today encouraged me: he wanted to pressure the ball full court. “He looks good,’’ Rondo said of Garnett. “He’s running the floor. He wanted to pick up with me a couple times defensively, but I wouldn’t let him.’’ Before his injury, KG used to pick up the opposing point guard full court and harass them. Since the injury, he hasn’t. If he wants to pressure PG’s again, he’s feeling better. At least, that’s how my theory goes.
5. Anybody else see Perk’s watch yesterday? That damn thing almost blinded me.
6. Ron Artest, on stopping Kevin Durant: “You gotta be Ron Artest. If you’re not Ron Artest, you don’t have a chance!” Me, on stopping anyone else: “You gotta be Semih Erden. If you’re not Semih Erden, you don’t have a chance!”
7. A fan who went to the C’s game yesterday: “We came to see how the big boys play,” Craig said. “It’s amazing how big these guys are when you see them in person — and it’s amazing how small Nate Robinson (5 feet, 9 inches) really is.”
8. Shaq’s got Semih fever. When Erden failed to take advantage of a matchup against Mareese Speights, Shaq screamed out, “Semih, kill him.” I hope Erden’s translator didn’t take that literally. Shaq also said, “Going up against three great big men each day in myself, [Jermaine O'Neal] and [Kevin Garnett], [Erden's] going to be a force for us.”
9. Adam Morrison, on whether there’s still enough time to resurrect his career: “I guess so. We’ll see.” Me, on whether there’s still enough time to go back to college and get a 6.0 GPA, then be the first man to walk on the moon, then be the first person from Longmeadow, MA to get drafted into the NBA: “I guess so. We’ll see.”

Got a tip? An article you think should be included? Send an email to jayking@celticstown.com or hit me up on Twitter @CelticsTown.

The Commish.

I’ve avoided writing about the potential lockout like I’d avoid being trapped in the Octagon with Ron Artest. Quite frankly, I’m in denial. The prospect of a lockout depresses the hell out of me. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if the NBA shuts down for an extended period of time. No League Pass, no barber shop NBA chat, no speculation about Doc Rivers’s rotation, no jokes about Paul Pierce’s facial hair, nothing. And what the hell would I write about?

Well, today Union president Derek Fisher (who I hope gets severely injured) spoke to David Stern (that egotistical genius who may or may not have fudged the NBA’s accounting numbers). The details of the meeting aren’t known, so basically this post is pointless, but the players might actually play basketball at some point in the future.

Not too exciting, eh? Which is why I’ve been in denial. My life, if the NBA locks out, would be uglier than Ben Wallace’s jumper. I couldn’t bring myself to write about a possibility that would leave me life entirely devoid of meaning (a bit dramatic, yes, but do you know how much my life revolves around basketball?).

I just couldn’t do write about it… until now. Larry Coon, and his masterfully informative piece on the NBA’s labor crisis, forced me to finally man up and face the lockout. I HAD to blog about his piece, which means I HAD to stare the lockout in the face, which means I’m damn close to an emotional breakdown of epic proportions. The lockout would kill me, and I’m pretty sure I’m not even exaggerating.

Coon points out all the obstacles standing between the Players Union and the owners. His points are extensive, in-depth, and intelligent. I would list them here, but 1) there are too many, and 2) if you want to enlighten yourself, you’re better off reading everything he wrote. Instead, I’ll list the argument that makes the most sense to me.

So in short, the league wants to replace what they see as a broken system with one where all 30 teams can turn a profit, and can afford to make the financial commitments necessary to compete for a title. “Our goal for our teams, our players, but particularly our fans, is to come up with a model that says that every NBA team can compete,” Stern said in February.

On the other hand, Fisher said that a system in which every team can compete doesn’t imply a system in which teams are insulated from the consequences of bad decisions. “We’ve run into situations where teams have either mismanaged spending, overpaid staff, or made decisions on rosters and personnel that weren’t in their best interest — things that we’re now being asked to take the hit for,” he said. “Each team needs to be responsible for running its business, and we don’t have anything to do with the decisions they make. So why should we be asked to make concessions for mistakes on their end, which we had no control over?”

Red Auerbach, wherever you are, please forgive me – I agree with a Laker. Why should the players make concessions when it’s the owners who are making the bad decisions? Why should the players agree to a hard salary cap and reduced revenue split when owners are willing to offer Brendan Haywood — Brendan fucking Haywood! — $55 million? The players shouldn’t have to make concessions when fiscally responsible and intelligent teams are able to build contenders and earn profits, while the dumbass teams spending $20 million on Darko Milicic, $30 million on Jerome James or $60 million on Eddy Curry build perennial losers. If owners screw up, if teams screw up, they should deal with the consequences themselves. As Fisher said, the players have nothing to do with the poor decisions certain owners make. So why whould they be charged with bailing the owners out?

I don’t consider myself an economics expert, but one thing I learned in school was this: price is determined by the market. If owners can’t afford to pay boat loads of money to fringe players, the answer is simple: don’t do it! With the money spent this summer by teams supposedly bleeding money, it’s hard to believe that the owners are losing cash left and right.

The owners’ defense is that they need to field competitive teams in order to keep butts in the seats. But does Wes Matthews ($33 million contract) sell tickets? Is Travis Outlaw ($35 million contract) going to ensure sell-outs every night? Is anyone going to be sprinting to the store to buy Richard Jeffferson’s ($39 million contract) jersey? How about Tyrus Thomas for $40 million? Anybody buy Bobcats season tickets just to see him play? Not only do the players mentioned in this paragraph fail to sell tickets, but they’re also players who fail to make a big difference in the wins column.

My point is this: the owners don’t need a hard salary cap to stop spending money. Instead of making the players concede certain rights (privileges?), the owners should take a good hard look in the mirror. Then they should stop spending eight figures on bums, stop hiring GMs like David Kahn or Isiah Thomas, and stop running their own franchises into the ground. After those changes, I bet a whole lot more teams would be making money.

Alas, real-life negotiations won’t be as easy as they are in my head. The owners are convinced they need “fundamental changes to the system,” but the players want smaller, less significant, changes. The road ahead will be filled with bumps, arguments, and — if a lockout happens — tears, at least from me.

When I think about the possible lockout, I have only one positive thought:

I hear Shane Falco is one hell of a point guard.

Ron Artest was pulled over while driving this Eagle Roadster, reportedly because its registration date had expired. But it looks to me like this cop just wanted an autograph.

When The Game That Must Not Be Named ended, Doc Rivers returned to the locker room. As he looked around at his devastated troops, he told them essentially the same thing he had said the previous year: When the Celtics have been at full health, they are undefeated.

A couple days ago, Doc repeated that chorus to ESPN 980 in Washington, D.C. And he’s right. With the starting five all healthy, the Celtics haven’t lost a single playoff series.

But Ron Artest believes Doc is simply making excuses. (Twitter)

Boston lost to lakers because of Kendrick Perkins injury. What about in 08 when Bynum was injured. What about this year Bynum was injured

What about Kobe played with a broke finger …. What about Ron artest defense When the Boston staff said Ron artest was too slow

Doc got one million excuses.. Just come back this season a take what you want…

The lakers with Bynum in the playoffs healthy has not lost The same way whoever whatever hasn’t Let’s not mention the stats on lock down

Nobody made excuses when Boston came to sac town when I was there and they embarrassed us. Acting like they were hardcore.

If you can look past all the Twitterized grammar, the moral of Artest’s story  is clear: Doc Rivers should stop making excuses for his team. And you know what? I actually agree with Artest. Rivers needs to stop playing the “we’re undefeated at full strength” card.

It’s time to stop making excuses. It’s time to stop saying “our starting five is the best in the league.” It’s time to stop playing the “what if?” game. It’s time for Doc to take his five against everybody else’s five and see which side emerges victorious. If the Celtics do, good. And if they don’t, even if injuries are part of the reason? Doc should simply tip his cap to the champs and tell them congratulations. I’ll do the same thing myself…

And then I’ll puke everywhere and spend the rest of the night bawling into my pillow case. Grace doesn’t change the fact that losing hurts.

Tony's Walking in Memphis. Kobe, I hope, is walking in dog feces.

It’s officially the slowest part of the summer. I’m talking Zydrunas Ilgauskas with cement blocks tied to his shoes slow. (Speaking of Z, he’s a classy dude. I’ll find it hard to hate him with venom.) So now I’m reduced to bringing you quotes from a story that I overlooked a few days ago because there was other, more interesting stuff to write about. Oh well, it’s more exciting than any other bit of “news” today. (ESPN)

Against the Celtics in the Finals, Tony Allen got in my face, but I don’t got the time for Tony Allen. Now, if you’re a star and you’re talking trash, I’ll talk back. All series long, Paul Pierce was talking: “You’re a bum, you can’t score, you can’t guard me, I’m busting your ass.” Everything.

I used to be guided by the lack of dread. Dread told me when Tony Allen was in the game. Lack of dread told me he was on the bench. I don’t know how I’m going to be guided now. So it goes.

By the way, Artest also said all types of crazy things. As one might expect. His advice for talking trash to him? Call him a psychopath. Alrighty then. His favorite movie? Titanic. Pause. One of his addictions? Counseling. As in, parental counseling and marriage counseling. The dude loves getting help.

Artest says he ”stopped worrying about money after the last time [he] made Larry Bird mad.” At 15 years old, Ron started to “get twisted.” By the time the Bulls drafted him, he’d ”drink in the house all day, then go play a game.” As he wonders, “Was I crazy, or was I not sober enough to have a clear mind?” I think the answer is quite obvious: Yes.

During the postgame hoopla following the miserably heart-wrenching Game 7, a couple hours before clubbing with his jersey on, Ron Artest admitted that his father beat him up as a child. (ESPN)

As Artest sat in front of his locker after the game, surrounded by his family, he began showing them around like a school kid showing his parents his classroom. “This is where I do my interviews after games,” he said as he held a bottle of champagne. When he was asked about the toughness he brought to the Lakers, he looked up at his father standing above him and pointed to him.

“When you talk about tough Ron, that’s my dad,” he said. “My dad threw me on the floor, roughed me up real bad and used to make me real mad. He prepared me for this moment right here. That’s why when you see me I can’t control it. That’s my dad. I played hard because my dad did. Don’t blame it on the alcohol, blame it on my dad.”

This is like telling me Jordan Farmar has big ears or Michael Sweetney is fat — it’s not exactly the most surprising thing in the world to hear that Ron Artest was beaten as a child. He was probably also dropped on his head a couple hundred a few times.

But no matter what his childhood was like, no matter how many times he was dropped on that skull of his, Artest hit one of the biggest shots of the 2010 NBA season. Please excuse me so I don’t puke all over my computer.