I don’t know what’s better: Derrick Rose carefully adding icing to a cake or Josh Smith advising Michael Jordan, “Can’t eat sushi in Utah, brotha.” I would discuss further, but I’m on the phone with my moms.

By the way (“hold on a damn second, moms!”), I just came across a piece on David Berri’s blog comparing Rondo to the guards who made Team USA (I know, I know, I can’t let it go): “Rajon Rondo was clearly the most productive player in this group,” the author, Ben Gulker, wrote, “and frankly, it wasn’t close.”

That productivity was in the NBA, not the international game, but still. Gulker continued to explain why Rondo would have been a great fit for the team. Read it, it’s interesting. You know, as long as you still care about Rondo’s mysterious departure from the national team. Or if you just want to read about how Rondo produced far more wins than Chauncey Billups, Derrick Rose or any other guard who made Team USA’s roster.

In case you didn’t see Team USA play Angola, I’ll summarize the game for you in one word: massacre. I’m almost positive I could have gathered myself and four guys I went to high school with and given Angola a run for its money. And I went to a high school that has never even won a basketball state championship, and all my high school teammates who used to be legit now have beer guts. Team USA won 121-66, and I’m not even exaggerating when I say it should have been worse.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to work out. I’ve got to get in shape if four of my friends and I are going to kick some Angolan ass. On second thought, no I don’t. We could probably beat the Angolans after a month of nothing but Jager bombs and Taco Bell.

By the way, I apologize to any Angolan readers who were offended that I honestly believe I could beat their national team in a basketball game. But they should probably be a lot more offended by their own team.

Former UCLA teammates Kevin Love and Russell Westbrook hooked up for this sick alley-oop in Team USA’s 92-57 victory over Tunisia. Naturally, it was the 6-10 Love with the alley, and the 6-3 Westbrook with the oop.

I’ve always wanted to know the answer to the age-old riddle: How many Croatians does it take to defend Russell Westbrook? Now, I know. More than one. Especially after the first one breaks his ankles.

Click the jump for bonus coverage of Nicolas Batum flying against Spain.
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For what it’s worth, here are my rankings (in descending order) of the Team USA players I’d most want on my team if I were an NBA GM. This list includes the withdrawn Rajon Rondo and is based on how these players perform in the NBA, rather than how their games translate to international basketball.
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(This play symbolized the whole first half.)

Not that the exhibition game between USA and Lithuania counted for anything, but that was almost ugly. Really, disgustingly, hideously ugly.
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