I can believe Shaq has committed crimes before. Maybe an illegal download here or a nice jaywalking session there. Who knows? On nights when he was feeling a little crazy, maybe even a public urination.

But ordering murders?

Robert Ross, the same ex-gang member who claims that Shaq had him kidnapped in 2008, has filed a lawsuit that claims among other allegations that Shaq also masterminded a series of murders, according to TMZ.

In the suit, Ross alleges, “For many years O’Neal requested and directed [Ross] to perform many personal favors and directed him to perform various tasks including, but not limited to: ordering [Ross] to kill a member of the Downtown Gangster Crips who had disrespected O’Neal in front of his wife Shaunie.”

O’Neal is also accused of issuing “an order to kill a woman whom O’Neal had impregnated and paid for her abortion” and “an order to kill a renown record producer.”

Ross also alleges that O’Neal issued “an order to break an NBA player’s shooting arm.” …

Shaq’s lawyer, Michael J. Kump, tells TMZ … “The outlandish claims by Robert Ross in his civil complaint are pure fiction.  Shaquille O’Neal befriended Mr. Ross in an attempt to help turn his life around.  Sadly, Mr. Ross abused that friendship again and again.

Kump adds, “Shaquille’s commitment to law enforcement is well-known and documented.  He will not dignify these defamanatory allegations with a response.”

Unbelievable? Yes. Shocking? Entirely. Any reason for us to listen to a word Robert Ross says? Umm, I don’t think so. This is a civil lawsuit brought by a former gang member reported solely by TMZ. In basketball speak, that’s like a trade rumor started by Jerome James’s third cousin and reported solely by Perez Hilton. Perhaps Ross is telling the truth, but the Ross-TMZ combination doesn’t exactly scream “reliable.”

I’ll still pay attention to this case because, well, SHAQ IS ACCUSED OF ORCHESTRATING MURDERS! But it sounds a lot like a former gang member trying to make some easy dough.

P.S. – The weirdest part of the story is Shaq’s friendship with Ross. When most NBA players want to help turn somebody’s life around, they donate time or money to a youth organization. They donate turkeys at Thanksgiving or gifts at Christmas. They don’t find a gangster and take him underneath their wing.

The Celtics were not scheduled for a full-speed practice session today, but Shaq got some shots up anyway. He also watched film with the team and was expected to participate in the team’s walkthrough. If I’m not mistaken, it was Shaq’s first practice since early February.

His real test, though, will come tomorrow and Saturday, when the Celtics go full speed.

“I do [think Shaq will play in Game 1], I can’t guarantee that,” Doc Rivers told ESPN Boston. “He’s going to do a little bit today. We’re not going to do enough — we’re going to walk through stuff so I could do today — but [Friday] and [Saturday] are the big days for Shaq. He’s going to try to get through practice and see what we can do.”

Kendrick Perkins participated in his first full-contact practice today (and already injured Marquis Daniels while setting a screen — the illegal screens have already begun). It’s unclear whether he ever stopped scowling.

Better yet, Perk’s target return date has been established. He says he will play against the Dallas Mavericks on February 4. In other news, February 4 will also be the day he notches his first technical foul.

Elsewhere on the Celtics, Shaq missed today’s practice.

Potentially related, Shaq played 35 minutes Friday night. A workload like that — even without a perilous slippage on ice — might leave Shaq in recovery mode until 2021.

Oh yeah, and some fella named Kevin Garnett participated fully in practice too. Most reporters came away from practice believing Garnett would suit up tomorrow.

According to the Celtics’ Twitter account, “It sounds as if he will be in the lineup tomorrow night against the Orlando Magic.” The Boston Globe’s Gary Washburn also reports (via Twitter) Garnett is “likely to play tomorrow.” The Boston Herald reported that, “barring any unexpected problems,” Garnett would play tomorrow.

But ESPN’s Chris Forsberg reported a more pessimistic view. “KG still 50/50 for Monday…KG will wait to test self again at shootaround before deciding if he’s a go Monday.”

Doc Rivers said Garnett looked great in practice. But his recuperation from today’s activity will determine his availability for tomorrow night. (Boston Globe)

“He was great,” Celtics coach Doc Rivers said. “He went through the whole practice. I think Kevin will go tomorrow. But then again we went through practice to see if he could go tomorrow. If he feels good, he’ll go. If there’s anything (wrong), he won’t.”

Shaq spoke with the Orlando Sentinel about the Miami Heat, Dwight Howard, and NBA lockout and the reason he talks so much crap. (“Marketing,” he explained. “”I know what I’m doing when it comes to selling out games.”)

Here’s what Shaq said about the Heat:

Do you feel like Miami is going to run the Eastern Conference or is all the talk hype?

“Everybody is always excited about youth, but in the last 11 years I don’t see a youthful team winning the championship. But they got a great backcourt in LeBron and D-Wade, probably one of the most talented, historical backcourts ever.”

Shaq’s right about experience winning championships. But let’s not talk about the Heat like they’re all rookies. Lebron James is a two-time defending MVP, Dwyane Wade has a Finals MVP trophy, and Chris Bosh, well, he works hard. Udonis Haslem, Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Juwan Howard, Mike Miller and Eddie House are all OG’s. I mean, it’s not like these guys are still walking around with pacifiers in their mouths, wearing diapers.

I’m afraid of the Heat, I’m willing to admit it. But I’ve got faith in my Celtics.

According to Shaq’s representatives, the lawsuit brought against him by former employee Shawn Darling is nothing more than a “complete and utter fabrication.” (Boston Herald)

In a lengthy statement released by his representatives yesterday, O’Neal called Darling “an ex-con” with a lengthy record. He portrayed the suit as a brazen cash-grab by a man who previously tried to extort him for $12 million by threatening to expose O’Neal’s personal communications and e-mails.

“Mr. O’Neal has made it crystal clear that he will never respond to these outrageous tactics,” Shaq’s representatives said in a statement. “As a result, Darling filed a lawsuit which seeks only to embarrass, harass and extract money from Mr. O’Neal.”

O’Neal’s attorney Benjamine Reid called the claims in the suit a “complete and utter fabrication.”

These are the times I’m happy I’m not rich. It would be nice to have more than sixty dollars to my name (yes, I’m THAT broke), but at least I don’t have money-grubbing ex-cons calling me a computer hacker and saying I tossed an iMac into a lake. Nobody wants to embarrass, harass and extract money from an unemployed blogger with no source of income. For that, I can be thankful. But for the love of God, will someone please advertise on the site so I can at least afford to eat next month?

All that work for a damn B? C'mon, Teach.

NBA.com is doing an summer report card for every team, and the Celtics earned a B.

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