Get that weak stuff out of here. Oops, I just picked up a technical foul.

The Boston Celtics starters weren’t supposed to play in the second half. They were supposed to be granted some rest. But when a hapless first half ended with the Celtics trailing the Nets 55-48, plans changed. Eleven minutes later, the Celtics led 80-69 when the starters were substituted out after stunning an overwhelmed Nets team with a barrage of quick and powerful jabs. A 107-92 victory was well underway.

As the cheers rained down from an abnormally loud preseason crowd at the TD Garden, the message had been sent:

Miami Heat, the Celtics are ready for opening night.

• Game Notes:
  • Shaq continues to fit in. The Great Wall of Massachusetts solidified his hold on the starting role, and keeps working to change the perception that his presence held Cleveland back. The Diesel has been nothing but helpful in Boston, where his rebounding, outlet passes and paint presence have been a welcome addition. Tonight, he even hedged a screen-and-roll and forced a turnover. I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
  • Contrary to what most folks thought, Shaq’s presence doesn’t clog the lane for the Celtics — it opens lanes. On one play, Ray Allen came off a curl with a head of steam towards the hoop. Even though Allen was wide open and headed straight for a layup, the Nets’ center didn’t fully commit to helping out. Why? It could have been that the Nets are awful defensively. That makes sense. But more likely, the Nets’ center was afraid to leave Shaq because Shaq’s a bigger threat than Kendrick Perkins ever was. Well, that and the Nets are awful defensively.
  • A couple plays into the third quarter, Paul Pierce sneaked around Kris Humphries and stole the ball. Pierce outlet passed the ball to Rajon Rondo, igniting the fast break. Rondo dumped it back to Pierce, who finished the play with a vicious dunk close enough to Johan Petro to make the Nets’ center blush. You can’t tell me Pierce had that type of rise in last year’s playoffs. You can’t.
  • I’ll be shocked if Von Wafer isn’t chosen as the Celtics’ 15th player. He found his sea legs (C legs?), and for the past three games has provided the offensive boost the Celtics expected when they signed him. Stephane Lasme will remain an inspiration and a great story, but the Celtics will likely assign him to the Maine Red Claws — if Lasme agrees.
  • Semih Erden isn’t your normal rookie. He makes at least two or three plays per game that scream “VETERAN!!!!” Today, he had two nice post moves around Derrick Favors. The second was a beautiful drop-step that was reminiscent of Kevin McHale. Okay, maybe not that veteran-esque.
  • For what it’s worth, Tommy Heinsohn salivated when he first saw Rajon Rondo play for the Celtics. He had the same feeling the other night watching Avery Bradley.
  • As Ray Allen tends to do, he got hot. The lesson, as usual: the only thing smoother than Ray Allen’s jumper is his bald dome piece.
  • Tiny Gallon’s new number? 63. He said it made him feel like an offensive linemen. I bet looking in the mirror gives him that same feeling.
  • Doc Rivers missed the game after having throat surgery. He couldn’t scream, he said. Lawrence Frank coached in his place. Frank has at least one thing he does better than Tom Thibodeau — unlike Thibs when filling in for Doc, Frank actually made substitutions.
  • One of the subs he made was matching Glen Davis and Kevin Garnett together in the same frontcourt. That gives the Celtics an interesting lineup full of shooters. Something to keep an eye on.
  • Mario West won’t make the Celtics, and he doesn’t deserve to. But if he ever defended me at the Y, I’d fake an injury.
  • Rajon Rondo’s last on my list of notes, but not least. Every day, I marvel at the way he dominates games without scoring points.
  • Kevin Garnett was aggressive. He was also whistled for a technical foul when he made an elbowing motion in the vicinity of Kris Humphries’ head. Even though the replay showed no malicious intent, I can’t fault the ref for calling a technical. When I saw the play live, I thought KG had plans to decapitate Humphries.

Stephane Lasme flies past Andrea Bargnani. Nice D, Bargs. You almost came within five feet of getting a block.

On one hand, the Celtics’ final preseason game tonight against the New Jersey Nets means nothing. It’s just one more dry run, followed by five days of preparation. And on Tuesday, six days from today, the Miami Heat come to town. That’s when the real show begins.

On the other hand, the Celtics’ final preseason game holds more significance than the NBA Finals. Just ask Von Wafer, who will likely play in China if the Celtics cut him following tonight’s game. Just ask Stephane Lasme, who has no Plan B  for when, or if, he gets cut. Lasme just wants to be close to his family, which happens to live in Massachusetts. The NBA only permits teams to carry 15 players on a roster. The Celtics have 16 players worthy of inclusion. One will be sent home, likely tonight.

The importance of tonight’s game, at least to Wafer and Lasme, is life-altering. But most fans just can’t stop thinking about opening night, six days from now.

“There’s never been an opening game that has been more heavily anticipated,” Ray Allen told WEEI.

“I think with the anticipation [after] our exiting the finals last year and then with the new additions to Miami, they overly hyped the game,” Kevin Garnett added. “Yeah, I can see this has a lot of episodes, a lot of drama, if you will. It will have a lot of soap opera feel to it. Days of Our Lives, Another World, Santa Barbara.

“My grandmother was a big, big soap opera fan so it was either go outside or sit in there with her so I know that schedule quite well.”

Once you can get over the shock of Garnett watching soap operas, his message resonates. Before the Celtics and new-look Heat have met even once, a rivalry has been forged. The public has wanted a Heat-Celtics matchup since Lebron took his talents to South Beach, and so have the players.

The Celtics ran their mouths this summer, saying they aren’t afraid of the Heat. They’re the defending Eastern Conference champions, and until someone takes that title away the Celtics will consider themselves the East’s best. The Heat, meanwhile, have said all the right things. They’re still chasing the Celtics, they say. They haven’t won anything yet. But somewhere under that thin layer of humility rests a team that believes itself to be the greatest, not only in the Eastern Conference but the entire NBA. And they want to start proving it on opening night.

Coaches beg players not to overlook an opponent all the time. If I had a dime for every time my high school coach told me to “focus only on the task at hand,” I’d be living in my dream house, wearing Armani suits and eating nothing but caviar and steak. But tonight’s game is especially easy to overlook, especially because the W or L won’t show up on the Celtics’ record, especially because the NBA’s paper champions stand menacingly in the on-deck circle. Easy to overlook, that is, unless you’re Von Wafer or Stephane Lasme. Then, tonight’s game is the Super Bowl come early.

On a completely unrelated note, I now know why Garnett plays with so much rage. I’d have a lot of pent-up anger, too, if I spent my childhood watching Days of Our Lives.

The Boston Celtics will likely make their final cut after tonight’s game. (Boston Herald)

As it stands, Von Wafer appears to be in the lead for the Celtics’ last roster spot. Rivers said the team will probably make a cut after tonight’s preseason finale against New Jersey.

“(Wafer’s) been more aggressive offensively,” Rivers said. “He still has to buy in defensively and into our culture, and I think he’ll do that. He’s getting better.”

Besides an awful spell of the shooting shanks to begin training camp, everything went just right for Wafer this preseason. He wasn’t playing a lot, then — BAM! – Delonte West got hurt and playing time opened up. Stephane Lasme was playing his way onto the team, then — BAM! — Lasme couldn’t travel to Canada because of visa issues and Wafer played his best game as a Celtic. Even before the preseason,West’s 10-game suspension made Wafer less expendable than he would have been.

To recap, Wafer is benifitting from a) injuries to teammates, b) odd visa issues that rarely (ever?) happen in the NBA, and c) the time Delonte West played cops and robbers more than a year ago. If somebody ever wrote a book titled “Strange Ways to Make an NBA Team,” Wafer would be featured at least a few dozen times.

Unless he doesn’t make the team. Then the book should be titled “How to Blow a Shot at Making an NBA Team Despite Everything Falling into Place.”

Not a fan of Wilson Chandler's hair-do.

During my entire basketball playing career, I probably received three technical fouls. I was even-keeled and respectful to the referees, kind of like Rasheed Wallace, except the exact opposite. But once I started coaching? Man, I suddenly morphed into Bobby Knight.

I got tossed out of a few games, started a toe-to-toe verbal sparring match with one ref, and was never shy about letting a ref know when he sucked. And I was just coaching in a laid-back summer league. Imagine if the games actually meant something.

Pretty much every game I coached, I was assured of hearing a whistle’s tweet and then seeing the ref put his hands in the shape of a T. I got on the refs like Tommy Heinsohn, except with KG’s potty mouth. I can tell you exactly why my attitude towards refs became a lot worse when I coached: because I had no control over the outcome of the game. Sure, I could tell my players what to do, but I couldn’t do it myself. That lack of control was the most frustrating part of being a coach, and I took my emotions out on the poor refs.

Having no control while coaching meaningless games drove me nuts, so I can only imagine how Stephane Lasme felt the other night, watching on television as Von Wafer made a strong claim for the 15th spot. Seeing your competition play well is tough enough, but seeing it while you sit in a hotel, watching on television, with no chance for rebuttal, just because you had some visa issues? Damn, that’s brutal. I can’t even imagine how tough that must have been.

I feel for you, Steph. Keep doing your thing. Work hard, set screens, play defense, and take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way. I can only hope you don’t look back at that unfortunate visa situation with any regrets.

Robinson has been more aggressive going to the tin. (AP Photo)

I can tell you exactly when I knew the Celtics were going to win tonight’s game against the Knicks, but you might not believe me.

They were losing 59-50 in the third quarter, and had looked listless to that point. It was the second night of a preseason back-to-back, and the Celtics didn’t have the spark they normally do. But Kevin Garnett had just hit an and-one, and there was something about his reaction, something about the way veins popped out of his neck as he screamed and clapped and hopped around and most definitely cussed. “This game is over,” I told my brother. “The Celtics are going to win this thing by at least ten points.”

The final score? 97-84, Celtics. From the time I predicted victory, the Celtics outscored the Knicks 47-25. Yet I can’t take any credit for my accurate prediction. Kevin Garnett might as well have looked me in the eye and told me the Celtics were about to turn the game around.

Garnett did a lot of the work himself, finishing with 20 points and four rebounds in only 19 minutes. I try to watch Garnett with a skeptical eye, to judge his progress harshly. When others see Garnett skying for an alley-oop, I see him four or five inches lower than he was in 2008. When others see him disrupting an opponent’s offensive sets, I wonder why he can’t create his own offense in the post. But I still had no complaints about Garnett tonight. 

He was everywhere, looking as spry as he has since that damn injury cut short his 2009 season. He looked, dare I say, like the Kevin Garnett of old, the Kevin Garnett who affects a game in zillions of different ways, the Kevin Garnett who rallies his troops with a single emotional gesture. There was one play when Garnett blocked a shot at the rim on one end, beat everyone down the floor, caught a pass from Rajon Rondo and laid it in with his left hand. The play was so beautiful, so Garnett, that I almost cried a tear of joy. Garnett won’t dominate every night anymore; those days are gone. But on the certain nights when he has a bounce in his step and a twinkle in his eye, Garnett can still raise his play to an MVP level.

On this night, Garnett carried the Celtics to victory. But he wasn’t alone. Rajon Rondo continued to pick his spots in this preseason, shooting only three times and scoring only two points, but controlled the game in other ways. When you can contribute in as many ways as Rondo does, scoring isn’t necessary every night. He dropped nine dimes and snagged eight boards, and left the whole crowd wondering, “What the hell happened?” when he dropped a no-look, left-handed pass over his head to Semih Erden.

Nate Robinson didn’t shoot well (4-14 fgs, 1-7 3-pt), but maintained his aggression. Robinson has opened up the throttle and is looking to drive to the hoop a lot more this year, using his explosiveness as a weapon. Glen Davis made a few gorgeous post moves (one athletic spin move comes to mind) and added 15 points and seven rebounds, and Paul Pierce scored an efficient 16 points and put the clamps on Danilo Gallinari once the Celtics got serious (Gallinari played well other than that stretch, during which Pierce contested every shot and forced misses).

In the battle for 15th man, Stephane Lasme had five turnovers to offset his seven points and four rebounds, and Von Wafer pitched in a solid if not spectacular eight points and five boards. Neither Lasme nor Wafer sealed a spot, but Wafer might be edging ahead because he has slowed himself down the last two games. No longer making dumb mistakes, Wafer is now letting his offensive talent shine through.

One of the characteristics that set the 2008 Celtics apart from most other teams in history was an ability to press the turbo button and leave opponents in the dust. Sitting at home on my couch, I could sense when it was about to happen. Kevin Garnett would always be the player to rev the engine with a display of emotion, a rallying cry to his teammates. Let’s blow these motherfuckers out.

Garnett would clap in his opponent’s face, or get down on all fours and bark like a dog, or pressure the opposing team’s point guard full court. No matter what Garnett chose to make his rallying cry, his message was always the same. It’s winning time, fellas. I knew immediately that the Celtics were going to win the game. The result wasn’t in question.

The last couple years, the Celtics have missed that. But not tonight. I know it was only preseason, and I know it was only against the Knicks, but it had been a long time since I watched the Celtics and knew, “They’re ready to put this game away.”

It felt damn good.

• Game Notes:
  • New Jersey native Tom Heinsohn, when told by Mike Gorman that Ronny Turiaf is fluent in five languages, said that he was fluent in two himself: “English and Jersey.”
  • Delonte West, Jermaine O’Neal and Marquis Daniels sat out tonight’s game. West is still bothered by back spasms, O’Neal bruised his hand, and Daniels complained of a sore right shoulder. None of the injuries seems too serious, although West underwent tests on his back. “We’ll know more in a couple days,” said Doc Rivers.
  • Avery Bradley missed the game, too. Rivers said Bradley might be shut down until his ankle looks better. He was limping around during his brief time in yesterday’s game.
  • Amare Stoudemire sat out for the Knicks. It was just a precaution for Stoudemire, who says he’s in the best shape of his life.

Von Wafer, I just want to say thanks for last night. Thanks for (finally) hitting a shot, and then hitting a few more. Thanks for maintaining control on (most of) your dervishes to the hoop, and for kicking out a few times to open shooters. You’re a better passer than I realized back when you played for Houston, so I suppose I should thank you for that too.

Thanks for reminding us that you’re far more talented than Stephane Lasme. That you at your best beats Lasme at his best any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. Thanks for showing us your ability to put your right hand in an oven and come out smoking hot. Thanks for doing what you are most known for, scoring buckets. Thanks for not doing the other thing you’re most known for, clashing with coaches. Thanks for not being hesitant on the court. Thanks for not being passive.

Thanks for realizing that Doc Rivers isn’t on your case because he hates you, but because he sees your potential.

“It’s just to make me better,” you told the Boston Globe. “I think everybody here cares about me, so I’ve just got to take it in stride and just use it. Not use it as them being against me, but use it as them trying to help me.”

Maybe the Celtics still have time to mold a team player out of you after all.

After the game, Doc cautioned that you still have work to do. Maybe he was just trying to keep your head small after your nice performance, but more likely you’re having serious trouble picking things up.

“He’s gotta be alert and ready,” Doc told reporters. “His defense, he’s gotta learn our schemes. He’s been through a whole camp now. We can’t wait much longer.”

“I keep telling him [to play at] Celtics speed, and he’s playing at Von speed,” Doc continued. But then he added, “He’s getting it. He’s improving. He’s going to get it.”

You looked a lot closer to getting it last night than you had before, Von. As Doc said, last night was good for you. You needed it.

So thanks. I needed it too.